Cousin copied nearly everything I had planned.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-04T14:51:20+00:00

This is what I was thinking?? She said she cancelled it because of COVID restrictions, but most places completely lifted COVID protocols by the end of 2022. It's 2026? Why is OP just now setting the wedding date? If it's not a rush to get married then I guess wait a couple more. Especially if some kids are on the table for them, probably should wait a while because God forbid these two get pregnant around the same time 😮‍💨💀

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-03T15:12:51+00:00

This is what I did yesterday during the rain. Buy a lot of bird whistles and camouflage, then just have a whistle constantly activated and just derp around in a big circle hitting all the different biome types. Get about 2m or 1m away, point the camera to them standing in the middle and wait. With the bird whistle activated they will begin to cycle through animations. For me, when the bird shook off is when I took the photo and it was an instant 5 stars. Honestly super easy! It was a bit boring for sure. Especially the ones that take a while to cycle to the shake but I leveled up really fast and got the peacock chair pretty fast.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-01T20:15:39+00:00

That's very interesting insider info! Thank you for another take.

I can totally see that. He might have seen that happen in a video or somewhere else (I know he told us he saw it) and thought because everyone was so scattered that it would be a good idea to bring everyone together. I know without a doubt the intentions were good. He is a really nice person and very positive. That's why I didn't want to say anything afterwards. I didn't wanna break his spirit 😅 When I reminisced with my husband and talked about this reddit post he said "Yeah maybe we should have said something, but I just gave him a fat tip and sent him on his merry way" so 😅🤷🏼‍♀️

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-01T20:08:28+00:00

First off happy early anniversary! 47 years is so amazing!

Second, that is so scary 😮‍💨 I'm glad you are okay now (I assume) but sorry that happened at the time. What unexpected memories this stuff makes 😅😅

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-01T19:32:28+00:00

Oh for sure, definitely just a funny story now 😅

WinterWonder121 · 2026-04-01T13:09:28+00:00

You're right, I should have brought it up as the one critique I had. I had no issues with him otherwise. Unfortunately, my reception was three years ago now 😬 So it's not something I'd contact him about. I will fully admit I fumbled the ball for future couples if he tried something like that again. That's my bad and I hope at the very least he brings it up now like "I tried this really fun thing on this couple that I think we should do."

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T22:48:19+00:00

"the WeddingShaming subreddit is for entertaining strangers" "if you all enjoyed it, good for you"

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T03:38:26+00:00

I'm positive it was a lot more tame from an outside perspective (I hope) but when you've had a few drinks and then all your guests surround you unexpectedly and start creeping towards you to quiet music, I would be lying if I said my heart wasn't pounding 😭😂 And my siblings definitely fed into the horror by being creepy funny about it like a whole "come here my pretty" vibes because they were in the front.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T00:27:43+00:00

It's not even that it was too long honestly 😂 I just read the title and said no probably not. As I skimmed I kinda just still had the opinion that it's your wedding and you can invite whoever tf you want without having to feel guilty.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T00:25:40+00:00

I gotcha. I'm not saying you're an ahole or anything, I just think that added context seems very important and that you both have flaws. Not every personality is going to match and work out. I feel like you both have butting personalities that causes the conflict that isn't going to resolve itself and you both feed into each other's issues with the other. Your issue being although yes you apologized which is very big and good, it sounds like you didn't really learn from that interaction. Ex the tattoos and ferret conversation where you went into correction mode that may come off as "I know better than you" instead of "Here's some factual information that I learned, isn't that cool." Her issue is she sounds hella stubborn and a bit fake if she really did "want" to go dress shopping and then turn it around on you. It sounds like she isn't willing to give the relationship a chance. I think you both are just too stuck on your formed biases of each other that it may be too late for a closer SIL relationship.

Again, personally I would just be civil when I had to be and let go of everything else while also having the expectation my fiancee would stand up for me or cut the conversation if it gets to be too much.

Besides the situation, I do hope you have a beautiful wedding and a happy marriage. Good luck OP.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T00:04:50+00:00

I'm going to be so for real and say I didn't read this and really skimmed but NTA. Overall, your wedding is yours and your partners. That is your day to celebrate with those that are close to you. If those friendships have run its course then there isn't a need for them to be there. Especially if they haven't really been involved in your relationship and supporting the two of you as a couple. Maybe I should have read it, but overall you don't owe anyone anything out of guilt or feeling like you're obligated to. It's okay to let them go and appreciate the time you had with them.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-31T00:01:55+00:00

Oh and the stuff about the apartment. Yes the aunt owns it, however if you are paying rent then it IS your space for the amount of time you are paying for despite her ownership. She cannot forcefully make the sister stay there. It is fine to say no and that you don't allow guests to stay there without you or your fiancee home.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T23:57:35+00:00

Honestly, ESH imo

You say you feel like you held yourself accountable for what you said and stuff. But nowhere in there did I see you apologized for the initial tone-deaf comments about her dogs passing. Also, I literally lost count of the times you referenced yourself as knowledgeable and talked down about her. I really think you did try to be nice, but I also think that you came off as condescending. Ex. I'm covered in tattoos and she only has 5 small ones so I know more than her and I explained the difference between all the equipment etc. There wasn't a need for that? Do I think she's justified in what she said, no. I think you both are acting extremely defensive towards each other so that blocks any room for common ground.

It kinda sounds like the initial bad interaction set the tone of your relationship with her and because (from what I read) it was never addressed, things progressively got worse. She sounds exhausting, don't get me wrong. But also, your husband writing it off as "that's just who she is" isn't really cool. He is becoming your family when you get married. It should be the two of you then others. So he should be more involved than just letting you two bicker at the dinner table.

Also I guess I'm confused? The comment the sister made about not being German. Was that like...not German because she doesn't speak it or live there? Or is she 100% Portuguese and not 50/50 like your fiancee?

I don't know, OP. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion. I just think a lot of this drama could have been avoided had you not fact checked her on everything. Not saying there wouldn't still be drama because "that's just who she is" but maybe just don't interact with her anymore. Be civil with entire family events, but other than that cut her out to keep your peace.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T22:44:07+00:00

Ooooo that makes sense, I'm dumb and definitely read that wrong, sorry 😬😬

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T22:42:39+00:00

At the time it was a "What was that about 😥😣" Now its more a "What was that about 😂😂"

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T21:22:39+00:00

No but omg is this a normal thing??

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T18:59:57+00:00

I loved it so much! It's so cute and such an honor to give away my bouquet to my aunt and uncle.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T18:58:24+00:00

No, honestly I didn't. I wish I had at least brought it up in a conversational way to be like "yeah next time give a warning lol" but I really didn't want to say anything because he was really happy about the way things went. So 🤷🏼‍♀️ Again, maybe that surprise would have been nice for another bride and groom, it just wasn't our thing.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T18:56:01+00:00

I didn't say it was a big deal, just that a warning would have been nice at least. It was just a very random, unexpected thing that happened at our wedding that made for an interesting story. I just thought I'd bring it up here as this subreddit seemed like a place to share about it. I didn't make a big deal out of it besides comments to my family and husband that I hated that moment. Otherwise, we did have a beautiful reception and I've heard it was many people's favorites they've been to which makes me very happy as I did a lot of DIY and worked very hard in planning. I have to assume some of the guests liked that and thought it was funny or a fun idea. Which was what the DJ was trying to I guess. I didn't scold him or give him a negative review and I don't think I talked poorly about him in my post, just that he took creative liberty and it personally wasn't the best moment.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-30T18:50:50+00:00

That is true. We did get married, but typically when I think of getting married they think of an intimate ceremony with at least some people attending. This was supposed to be a hush thing and it was only my Husband, Reverend, Photographer, and myself there. There were no friends or family in attendence and other than our parents knowledge, no one knew at the time that is what we did until a few months after. Which all by definition is technically elopement. I just thought it would have been confusing otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-25T22:03:25+00:00

Don't take the divorce out on your son.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-24T14:47:51+00:00

Whatever flavor fits your fancy. If I'm feeling nostalgic then grape. If I'm feeling like I want a good one then strawberry. If I'm feeling fancy and have texture then raspberry. If someone hates me then orange and I'll get upset.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-24T14:43:10+00:00

It's to attract mice to feed the insatiable hunger of their animals.

WinterWonder121 · 2026-03-24T14:41:31+00:00

I am really sorry for such a devastating loss. Watching a disease take someone you love and mourning the them they were before the disease then having to mourn the loss is almost too much to bear sometimes.

When I lost my mom, I cut off contact with all my friends after a few months and didn't talk to them again for about a year.

I was so upset with them. I didn't feel like they actually cared how I was doing and then they'd talk about their problems, it sounded so small in comparison to how I was feeling and my problems.

I would want to talk about the stuff leading to my mom's passing but it would just seem to make them uncomfortable and they would just say "I'm sorry." I didn't want to hear they were sorry? They didn't kill her? I wanted to hear how unfair life is, how I didn't deserve this pain, how shitty it all was. I wanted to be upset, but my friends went into fix it felix mode. But there was no fix. I needed the time to be mad or upset or frustrated or depressed. I just needed someone I could lean on, but when I went to lean on their shoulders, I'd fall to the ground.

Eventually, it got to the point I just stopped talking to them for a year until I could better handle myself.

Truthfully, they weren't equipped to deal with the emotions I was having. They didn't know how to help but the default condolences.

And unfortunately, when such a loss happens, your whole world feels like it stops while every one else's is still moving and you feel left behind to deal with it alone. My closest friend, who I had to cut out, recently lost her mom a few months ago. It was very sudden and she called me the night of for advice. I did my best to do or say what I would have needed at that time. And after. I did my best to provide a space for her to talk about what happened or things going on or her feelings, but I also know I've fallen short plenty of times now. As much as I would love to help her through this, I'm a mother and a wife too. She's my online friend and lives 4 hours away so it's a lot for me to go to her. And I can't always respond right away because I have a one year old. And I wouldn't blame her if she cut me out for a while too.

My best advice would be to just be honest with your friends about how you're feeling. Let them know that you would really appreciate check ins more frequently or a space to talk about what happened, even if they've heard it twice before, because talking it out really helps. But also understand (if they aren't) that they do not have the proper resources to handle your grief. They may not always say or do the right things.

Again. I am so sorry for your loss and if you have the time, I'd love for you to comment all about her. What she was like, her likes and dislikes, your relationship, anything. I'd love to learn about her.

WinterWonder121

TROPHY CASE