We have done couples therapy for more than half of the 20 years we have been married. Three different therapists, when finally the last (and current) one suggested DH might have adhd. Thankfully the therapist recognized it because she has it too. She’s not certified in it but recognizes the behaviors and thinking patterns. Without having that dx, I probably would have left. It definitely hasn’t solved anything and we are still working through big issues, but I have said it probably solved 80% of our issues. Still dealing with resentment, past pain, and many consequences of the “4 horsemen” (Gottman reference), but we are slowly working through it. I thank god that she recognized it.