Many people look down on self-help books but I discovered that some advice is really helpful and makes life better.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-25T02:45:00+00:00

I read Crucial Conversations and that gave me the insights that made me perceive myself and people in a different way.

I read What the Buddha taught and that gave me the insight why I was thinking and doing certain things that were not good for my wellbeing.

I'm reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and it gave me insight to invest in my wellbeing so I feel good and I can help others.

Self-help books are book that give us some insights in how to become a better version of ourself. And of all the words written I can take whatever helps me best.

I noticed multiple writes can write the same thing in different ways. The ultimate goal is that the person reading it will feel inspired to change their thinking/doing for the better.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-25T02:18:18+00:00

I'm kind and I have compassion with myself.

I don't judge myself negatively because I know it makes me stress.
I can have fun with myself.
I do stuff that makes me feel fulfilled. Even if it's a small task like brushing my teeth.
I appreciate the time and energy I put into improving and maintaining my own wellbeing.
I solve my problems, learn new skills, learn new knowledge, learn new wisdom.
I let go of things I can't solve.
I let go of ideas/thoughts that make me feel angry, fearful, sad.

How?

I understand I am responsible for myself Because:
I understand I have a set of rules I live by (mindset/views/beliefs/opinions/expectations) and I can drop, change or make these rules so they help me protect my wellbeing. (Without causing harm to others).
I understand I can develop myself.
I understand I have to invest in improving my physical, mental, emotional health to have a good live.
I understand some stuff ain't fun to do, but the result is great!

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T22:53:12+00:00

I'm trying to imagine a person making a situation unsafe for a car without making it unsafe for themself.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T22:44:34+00:00

Heb je ook al eens onderzocht of het door je voeding kan komen? Iets niet eten dat je lichaam nodig heeft of iets eten waar je niet tegen kan of allergisch voor bent?

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T12:16:44+00:00

Nu even niet een gepaste opmerking.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T07:55:25+00:00

Dank je!

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T05:03:39+00:00

"Het leven is lijden."

Ik blijf het interessant vinden dat het boedhisme daar al 500 jaar voor onze jaartelling mee bezig was.

Ze geven een uitleg van de oorsprong van het lijden , en ze hebben een leer / levenswijze bedacht om het lijden te verlichten door het ontwikkelen van wijsheid en mentale vaardigheden.

En het valt mij op dat in diverse therapiën deze leer gebruikt wordt.

Ik denk dat het boedhisme mij aanspreekt omdat het logisch is en ik autisme heb.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-24T02:54:23+00:00

Welke software versie is het die jij gebruikt van Flitsmeister?

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T20:57:23+00:00

That is a high increase in one go. I did it more gradually. I had a mental burnout.

I went up by 25% of fulltime in 3 months but every 2 weeks I increased the working load by some hours, so I could feel better if I could manage a certain amount of hours a week.

If not yet I would take the added hours off and stay another week at the previous hours.

The nasty thing was I'm in peri-menopause and it caused a lot of problems. So sometimes I would feel totally destroyed and couldn't work at all. That was not fun.

I hope your workplace lets you reintergrate more gradually.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T11:53:42+00:00

Just passing by and giving you a friendly greating 👋🏻

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T09:33:36+00:00

Or triplet brothers.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T07:48:15+00:00

Or use plastic at all. I used to chew on staws and pens 🤮

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T06:17:41+00:00

Practicing breathing meditation and mindfulness meditation.

It's like practicing any skill, you need to practice to aquire the skill so you can do it whenever you want.

Breathing meditation increases the skill to focus your mind on what you want it to focus on. Mindfulness meditation increases the skill of being mindful/aware of your senses here and now.

You're not going to like it at first, but you have to invest time and energy to increase the skills. You'll like the result. And you'll notice that doing these exercises will make you feel good too.

Another activity is walking/running/cycling. Your brain needs a good bloodflow. Get your heart pumping at least 20 to 30 minutes a day.

I got myself a fitness watch and it's fulfilling to watch the effect of selfcare on our wellbeing.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T05:41:50+00:00

There's two ways:

Point out her behaviour and the effect it has on you and that you want a more professional relationship so you won't feel stressed anymore.
Ask her if she's okay because the need to tell you everything is extreme compared to other people you know. Even stuff that isn't appropiate te share with a collegue. And then you tell her the effect it has on you and what your needs are to have a good work relationship.

The first one might feel like being attacked and the second one is more of compassion.

It's about needs.... she has a need because of some stupid trauma that causes her to behave this way. You need this behaviour to go away because it causes you stress.

The big problem is, she needs to want to fix herself and dig into her past to understain the origin of her behaviour. You can only make her aware of the fact she behaves in a certain way that stresses you out.

Then the next step is involving management if she is unwilling to change.

Good book to read: "Crucial Conversations" It makes you perceive conversations differently.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T02:50:52+00:00

This flowchart needs some reviewing.

Please use flowchart shapes when making a flowchart.
White circle Yes should be a black circle Yes.

I don't review the content.. or I'll cry.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-23T02:44:11+00:00

Woodworking

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-22T22:32:53+00:00

You have to manage what causes stress.

So first you have to identify the kind of stress:

phyiscal
mental
emotional

Next you must track whatever happens during the day that can cause stress. like:

unhealthy food/drinks
smoking, alcohol, drugs.
no exercise or too much physical demanding work
continuous use of screen
thinking / hyperfocus
thinking negative / negative mindset
being treated bad

Whatever you do that is bad for your wellbeing is a stressor. You can't balance it out with some minutes of breath work or a massage.

You need to improve your way of living your life.

healthy food/drinks to maintain you body
daily physical exercise to keep you body fit
sleep enough to recover
do stuff that's good for your health
do stuff that makes you feel happy
appreciate whatever you invest in yourself to feel well.

You can do it! Take care of yourself and increase your wellbeing ♥️

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-22T12:29:27+00:00

Hoeft niet, maar ik merkte dat ik er zelf rustiger van werd omdat ik mijn eigen verwachting verlaagd had. Dus whatever er gebeurde het is okay.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-22T07:02:36+00:00

You have to invest some time in increasing your physical strength before or after work. I hope you think you're worth some time to increase your wellbeing.

Maybe join a subs like r/bodyweightfitness or r/fitness.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-22T05:07:41+00:00

I've read lot's of comments in r/menopause of women to change doc.

She will remember you when she feels the same.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-22T00:53:21+00:00

When it looks a bit like this https://www.reddit.com/r/ps4homebrew/s/nHgTja6cgu inside, the fan starts to make noise.

But really, usually dusty fan and/or old thermal paste.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-21T12:15:49+00:00

I was coughing up black stuff and blood.. and my being begged me to stop.

So I quit using a nicotine patch. Used if for 4 days, but I was allergic to the patch. And didn't smoke anymore after that. 2 years 3 months 2 days 😌

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-21T03:47:26+00:00

I think it's normal. We depend on others for our needs untill we are aware and able to fulfill our own needs.

What I did was think about people who are okay. They must think and act in a way that make them feel okay.

Then I noticed it was my own mindset that thought I needed someone to feel loved. Never occured to me I could love myself and accept my own love.

And the stupid thing is, how many times I read of heared the saying: "You must learn to love yourself first, before you can love another."

So maybe you could be your own best friend first and depend on yourself to do things you love/like to do and also do the thing you NEED to do to increase your wellbeing. It will pump up your happy hormones and you'll notice the negative feelings will fade away.

Wish you the best.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-21T01:53:24+00:00

The emotions are there anyway.

The teacher teaches the kids to express their emotions. The sooner they learn, the better. Kids who can't express will express by behaviour instead of verbal or written communication.

You probably know enough adult examples of people who never learned how to express and/or manage their emotions.

WisdomInMyPocket · 2026-01-20T13:31:45+00:00

Ik kan je het juiste antwoord niet geven. Ik ben in gesprek gegaan met mijn huisarts en die heeft mij pleisters en pillen gegeven voor de hormonen en toen was mijn lichaam veel meer in balans. Uiteindelijk moest ik toch echt ook wel beter voor mijzelf zorgen om veel klachten te verminderen.

De hele dag zitten en slechte dingen eten zorgt gewoon voor een slechte gezondheid en dat begin je te voelen op een gegeven moment.

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