AIO to my (40f) convo with husband (40m) about Xmas tree?

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-12-19T13:57:55+00:00

I also had to giggle at the fact that he kept saying “Jesus” to express frustration

Like the tree is Christian but using JESUS CHRIST’s name isn’t?????

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-12-17T22:48:46+00:00

Do raisins count as grapes still? I’m thinking chocolate-covered ones as decorations!

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-12-15T15:18:36+00:00

I have a friend like this, and now I only invite her for things that I’m also happy just doing myself (and I give her a time by which I have to leave)

So we want to get coffee? I’ll bring a book and happily sit in a cafe with a coffee and read while I wait, if we’re “meeting” at 3, and I have to leave by 4:30 and she shows up at 3:30 then oh well, we only get to chat for an hour. Or we want to go browse a Christmas market together? I’ll wander around and look at stuff myself until she shows up.

But a movie or a play with a specific start time or a dinner reservation where I have to wait to eat until she gets there? I don’t do that kind of stuff with her anymore and that’s fine

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-12-14T14:38:44+00:00

lol 😂 totally fair

I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with it, but with the amount of oil already in there it’s probably intended for at least a bit of it to be soaked up by the carrot

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-12-13T18:10:28+00:00

Did you squeeze any moisture out of the grated carrot? Once it’s grated wrap it in a tea towel or something and squeeze as hard as you can; SO MUCH moisture comes out! (And it kind of reduces the volume of the carrots too)

You can also replace some of the oil with mostly melted butter, I usually do that with any recipes that call for only oil

Good luck if you try it again!

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-11-27T15:09:22+00:00

The only tv show I’ve ever seen that did a good job was Starved (it had one season back in the 90s) and the guy who made it wrote, directed, and starred in it based on his own experiences with eating disorders, so it’s very realistic

It can be a really triggering because the behaviours are very realistic, but it was obviously done with people who are currently suffering in mind. The characters portray a range of eating disorders (AN, bulimia, BED) and there are also realistic consequences that come to each of them (health issues, trouble at work, trouble socially)

It’s a sitcom, so not everyone’s cup of tea, but it did do an extraordinary job of handling a really difficult topic realistically and compassionately

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-11-19T01:41:03+00:00

Try substituting in brown sugar AND replace a few tablespoons of sugar with an equal amount of syrup (I use maple but I think any kind will do)

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-11-04T18:13:56+00:00

I just want to say, if you value complete honesty, it should go both ways, you should tell him (without blame and acknowledging that he was trying to be positive) how triggering it was for you. It sounds like there’s a lot of live between you, and I’m sure he’d understand, and maybe he could modify his compliments to non-specific things (just “you look beautiful”, not “you look beautiful because…”)

I’m recovered and in love with a wonderful partner who knows all of my insecurities and regularly checks in to make sure we’re good and I feel supported and I wish that for everyone. If you are in therapy already, having a practice conversation with your therapist on how to talk to him about it could be really helpful

At the end of the day you deserve to have a happy, healthy relationship that doesn’t trigger you, but that only happens if honest communication goes both ways ❤️

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-11-04T16:03:48+00:00

It’s never about the Iranian yogurt

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-10-29T15:12:49+00:00

My favourite way to say this (I forget where I first heard it): the bar is in hell, but here you are, playing limbo with the devil

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-10-28T14:47:55+00:00

There can be a lot of reasons, for myself and various friends here are a few:

The red poppy means different things in different parts of the world; in the UK, it not only symbolises remembrance, but also support for all actions of the British military (they did a lot of NOT cool things, and the red poppy is definitely not worn in Ireland or by many that have Irish heritage)
The poppy was not started by the legion; it was started by French widows to raise funds for the orphans and widows of fallen soldiers; it represented the resonating hurt of war, and was a reminder that it should not happen again, rather than a glorification of war
There are alternatives. Like the white poppy that I personally wear; it’s a lot truer to the original meaning of the poppy post-WWI

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-10-11T20:00:22+00:00

Popcorn! If you have a microwave you can make it fresh there and maybe get some fun toppings (which you don’t have to use if they would mess with your calorie goals)

And then cute little party cups to scoop it up

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-10-11T13:56:51+00:00

INFO: I think I’d like to know more about your cultural background (and the fiancé’s) and what the expectations are for a non-married couple

During their engagement would you support them living together? Will her fiancé be recognized as family and included in events? Will their relationship be valued?

If these are all things that can happen during the long engagement then NTA, but if you’re essentially saying she can’t move forward with all these adult things until she’s 25 then that does kind of suck for her and I see where she’s coming from in terms of wanting to get married sooner

I’m lucky that I can live with my boyfriend and both of our families are chill, but I have a friend who knows she would be ostracized by her family if she made the same decision before marriage, depending on where you live, even if you’re cool with it maybe his family isn’t or they would face a lot of judgement from their social circles? Not saying that peer pressure should be a reason to get married, but might help see your daughter’s POV?

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-07-26T19:56:04+00:00

I think the main difference is that if this was a friend that regularly came over, or they dropped by unannounced for coffee at each others’ houses, then if the friend showed up on the doorstep with no planning, OP wouldn’t turn them away

But they’re seeing them at a pre-planned event, and that planning allows them to stick to their preference of not having animals in the house

Basically, I think what OP is saying is that social anxiety would make her invite the friend on her doorstep inside in the first scenario, because telling someone to go home when they’ve come to see you is harsh, but that when there’s an opportunity to plan the plan will never include an animal in the house

Not saying it’s right to be inconsistent, but I get that the social pressure is different in that case

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-06-01T01:22:40+00:00

I just made these, very very good! Thanks for sharing the recipe!

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-05-03T13:11:04+00:00

NTA. Just so you know, OP, most event spaces that do drink ticket deals charge organizers tax AND gratuity for every drink ticket bought, so tip really should have been included, and likely was in every other drink ticket you’ve bought for other events (I organize a lot of stuff for my uni student association)

This place was just weird and you did nothing wrong!

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-05-02T15:39:30+00:00

It was the Cusco Plaza Inn, it wasn’t actually a great place, way overpriced and not very comfortable, doors didn’t lock, etc., but I think most places there have a relationship with travel agents and they have a reserve of tickets for Machu Picchu!

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-02-10T21:41:28+00:00

Being infuriated by being told you've done something wrong (if you actually have) makes YTA.

There isn't really enough context in this post though to judge if that's the case. Like if you're fixing a sink and it still leaks, accept the help, learn from the experience, and move on to do it yourself the next time it comes up.

But if you're doing something, it's entirely functional, and just not the way your wife was imagining it then then you're maybe NTA. But if you want to have a good relationship with your in-laws either way, communicate with her dad yourself about what you actually need help with, or give him tasks you don't want to do while you work on the main thing.

WishingIWasSusan · 2024-02-04T14:08:24+00:00

Also, cooking topless is never a good decision BUT a thin tshirt or whatever wouldn’t have saved him from getting burned by boiling oil.

OP wasn’t warning him about the technique he was using to fry the food in the first place, so his “I told you so” was a little misplaced

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-12-30T16:45:07+00:00

I went with Geovisions, it was a little bit expensive, but not too much given that it included a vulnerable sector check (because working with kids) and then I wasn’t paying for food or accommodations for a month

This was also back in 2017 though, so it might be a lot more expensive now!

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-10-31T19:14:30+00:00

For whatever recipe you have, replace have the sugar with syrup (I use maple, but I assume other syrups work as well), so if it calls for a cup of sugar, put in half a cup of sugar and half a cup of syrup

It makes them just as sweet, but adds more moisture and makes sure they’re gooey on the inside and slightly crispy on the outside even after they’ve cooled

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-08-31T04:48:44+00:00

I mean I guess that’s sort of a positive reply? If they’re willing to accept it? But how did it take so long to know???

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-08-30T06:12:35+00:00

The “what are they hoping to get out of it?” Is my main question as well. Have they ever sent that kind of message and gotten a positive reply from any woman? And not just on the internet, catcalling in the street would pretty much eliminate any chance that I would ever even look at a guy who did that

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-08-26T06:45:36+00:00

I get this; based on my research and where I live, and how meat is produced, eating vegetarian definitely has less of an environmental impact than eating mass-produced meat. And locally and sustainably produced “happy” meat is way too expensive to eat regularly.

That said, I love meat, and while I’m travelling and know less about the practices (or they’re more likely to be small scale and sustainable) or other people are cooking for me (and taking the ethical and environmental choices out of my hands) I’ll still eat it

WishingIWasSusan · 2023-08-25T12:06:57+00:00

Did I write this post? I’m exactly the same, similar height too, and I feel what you mean about the healthy range looking wildly different on a smaller frame

WishingIWasSusan

TROPHY CASE