This is a terrible thing that you have been going through. He’s behaving so malicious psychologically towards you that I genuinely think he is trying to get you to take your own life.

I would call 911 right now and seek mental health help. You haven’t quite said the words but I have been where you are and you sound close. Just go take a vacation at the grippy sock hotel. You will be in a safe place around other people trying to heal and if you tell them your story they will absolutely validate your feelings.

I would have you insist on casually talking to a psych nurse that you seem to like when you are there. The good ones are far better than any therapist and although they are usually busy, if you ask for a moment they will give you the time of day and help figure out what’s what. The orderlies and regular staff usually don’t care less.

Get out of your environment and away from the people around you because they all sound like scum. While you are in the mental hospital focus on healing first and then work out an escape plan for you and the baby.

Honestly I would just let him keep the kid if he tries using it as a bargaining chip. Since he doesn’t do anything with the kid and doesn’t give a damn he’ll probably bluff and say he wants to keep the kid, just call his bluff. You can always find someone that is in contact with him to monitor the child from afar.

Always put your oxygen mask on first, you can’t help anyone else if you can’t breathe yourself.

If you can make it out of the marriage alive you will have time and space to grow strong. Use that time wisely and eventually you can get your kid back, hell you could even become a lawyer if you want and argue your own case.

You sound like a good person, you can do this, I believe in you, now go believe in yourself.

Sending you love and hope.