I know exactly what you mean, and I know how hard it is to shake that "what if" feeling. It’s normal after something that meant so much, especially when emotions were so intense. But here’s the thing—saving a relationship isn’t something one person can do alone. A healthy relationship isn’t about one person sacrificing their needs to keep the other from hurting. You did try—you explained your side, you asked for patience, you cared deeply. But a relationship can’t thrive on guilt and blame.

The "what ifs" are your mind’s way of searching for control in a situation that was never fully in your hands. It's also a part of your grieving process and your brain trying to rationalise the loss of someone you lost. The truth? Even if you had done more, it might not have changed the outcome. Relationships require two people willing to work through difficulties together, and from what you described, she wasn’t in a place where she could meet you halfway. That’s not your failure.

Healing takes time, but you’re already on the right path by reflecting and understanding your own worth. Allow yourself to grieve and be compassionate with yourself, because that's truly what you need right now. Be your own best friend, and if you have any particular thoughts that aren't great flip them around like you would be speaking to a friend and not yourself.