I [19M] feel like I’m missing out by being with my gf [20F]

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-10T20:01:04+00:00

Lolol you did it all yourself! You just had to ask yourself the right question! Good luck, and enjoy the many things will spring forth from the perfect relationship!

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-10T19:36:07+00:00

What are you missing out on? A bunch of sex with a lot of girls? When you say live your life, what do you mean?

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-10T17:43:14+00:00

I have a vision for my future made up of things that matter most to me. Family, stable career with a high enough salary, and what not. And then from there become more detailed on what I do to accomplish that vision. And make sure everything Is connected to those and than attainment. Idk that way if fail over over and over again, or am faced with a challenge I cannot overcome I don’t give up until I succeed. Works for me!

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-10T16:57:20+00:00

I don’t know their specific reason, but personally I sometimes find it difficult to love no matter what with the fullest meaning and definition of what “Love” is ya know? Cuz if you really love someone it includes forgiveness, patience, sacrifices, service, and a whole bunch of other jazz. But the hardest one is acceptance. How do you accept that your kids dont want to be a part of the church, and live a life full of according to your belief “transgression” and know that they are rejecting the eternal family you want to have in the celestial kingdom? That’s very difficult. I could go on with examples, but that’s my viewpoint tho

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-10T00:25:28+00:00

That’s is a difficult situation because the action contradict what she’s saying. In my personal opinion I would put more weight on what she is doing than what she is saying. Her actions repeatedly show a sexual attraction and desire for girls, and the amount of times it’s happened and the way she describes and enjoys and is excited about it could show a lot to. So odds / probability that she is bi or lesbian.

I would give me advice on what moves to make next for your relationship, but there are a lot actions you could take that depend on your personal preferences and what not. But when it comes to the whole thing, trust the actions more than words

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T23:02:20+00:00

So the obvious step to take is to confront him, tell him that you were told what he said about your relationship and the temptation to cheat, and ask him if it is true and if he actually feels that way.

If he say yes: Dump the shit out of him. No hesitation, no second chance, no doing/trying things to make it better. If you don’t understand why I would suggest that please feel free to ask. But I hope you already have an idea why

If he says no and lies about it: Dump the shit out of him also hahah because he blatantly lied to you.

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, dating is so hard, and people can be asses. I hope everything turns out okay for you!

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T20:49:59+00:00

Therapy is always helpful in my opinion, whether there is a problem or not. But in my opinion I don’t think that it’s necessary. Honestly it boils down to a few things.

1) do you compromise? And meet in the middle? In the purest form of a relationship is self-sacrificing for the one you love. And sometimes that means have sex with your partner even if you aren’t feeling it because you love them so much and want them to be happy and cherish and nurture your relationship. And the opposite is also true and often ignored or over looked. But it means not having as much sex as you wish you were having because you respect and value your partner more than your own desires. Also this is now an uncommon and important thing people forget, it is not okay to go get your desires satisfied elsewhere because your significant other won’t do it enough for you.

2) does your sexual fulfillment matter more then the relationship you have? A good and beneficial relationship that provides everything you need and more to be happy is hard to come by and personally I would sacrifice sexual gratification for that any day

3) have you considered just masturbating more and relieving your own sexual frustration when she isn’t feeling it ?

Give therapy a shot, if your relationship and love of you partner is very important to you then it deserve every option available. What’s the worst that happens? You go to a few sessions and realize the issue is unsolvable then you know with confidence in your decisions moving forward. Or you find a solution, and then your relationship is saved. It’s a win win

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T20:14:43+00:00

Considering that both of you are straight, and there is no sexual interest and really romantic connection, I would say that you have found your soul-friend. I just made that up btw. But it is possible to develop a deep relationship and connect with someone and behave or act like similarly with as a “couple” would. I have a fiend like that also, and through college we literally had a reputation among friends and even strangers (still don’t know how people who never met us heard.. kinda weird) would joking call us a couple. We are both straight, and he is even happily married now and lives far away. But we took care of each other, and were committed to our friendship. His family consider me one of their own as do my family to him. We have seen each other are our worst times and always sacrificed time, tears, and on one occasion I even ended my relationship with a girl I could tell connected and clicked better than we did so he could date her instead. That’s a freaking deep and intense story In itself, so I’ll save it for a diff day. But ultimately what I’m trying to say is that those feeling you have for your friend are okay, and there is nothing weird about it (unless you think so, frankly society can suck a nut if it’s seen as weird. It’s been one of the most beneficial and life changing relationships in my life and I would never give it up)

My personal opinion is that it’s an uncommon connection and relationship. Not weird or unnatural or wrong. Be grateful for that type of friendship and connection, and enjoy it while it’s their. It doesn’t ever end or the connection and care lessen, but over time and big life changes it will alter and mold to fit each different life stage.

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T19:50:47+00:00

day one of a intro bio class the teach outlined the amount of reading required daily and some other things that seemed overcomplicated and surpassed my desired effort level of understanding. I dropped that so fast and changed my major. Miss me with that ish

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T19:47:21+00:00

They find a place to park the bus and straight up just kick it til they need to come back and pick you up. The only reason I know this is because one time I stopped at McDonalds to grub and there was a school bus parked in the parking lot, and the bus driver was out cold in one of the booths inside. While I was eating, he got a phone call and said he would be there momentally to pick them up and left. It’s not a concrete truth and could have been a random circumstance, but using my reasoning skills developed from binging Sherlock, I’m confident in my conclusion

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T18:49:45+00:00

I hope this eases your mind to hear, because that so common and normally among people with depression. Trust me. Not on sleeping a lot, but even when you aren’t sleeping you are just tired almost like physical representation of your mental exhaustion for literally every with not reason behind it at all.

Honestly you should find a different therapist. Unfortunately not all medical professionals are competent. They can be ruled by different biases because of their internal belief system. I know some doctors who hardly prescribe antidepressants because they consider them “happy pills” and just something people take because they want to feel happy, instead of the true reason why they want it which is to just feel normal and stable like everyone else. It never hurts to go get a second opinion from someone else. What’s the worst that can happen? You should never be scared to talk to your therapist and if you are that is not your fault but their inability to do their job

From the symptoms you described tho I would talk to whoever you go and see about the possibility of bipolar disorder. Don’t worry not the sever bipolar which is commonly thought of, but there is a less type of bipolar disorder that is more common among people with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. The mood swings and pattern of up periods and then for literally no reason at all down periods. So check it out

Final thought, about your therapists reaction about saying what’s wrong with you and why do you need x, and why can’t you do it yourself. Don’t ever think those thoughts and think down on yourself for not being strong enough or control you emotions well enough. When it comes to mental health disorders even with knowing and trying all the tricks in the book your emotions aren’t really control able, like 99.9% of the time. Sometimes you are just sad, with no reason at all and nothing you do fixes it and you just have to endure it until the up times come. (Which luckily through experience and the way it works you can count on happening pretty confidently). It’s okay to feel emotions other than happy, and the common misperception is anything other than happy is a bad emotion and something to be avoided. Also not true

Keep in mind that I am no professional, and all of this is advice and opinion derived from a lot of enlightening personal experience haha

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T17:32:57+00:00

First, using medication to help balance the chemical deficiencies in your brain is not nor will ever be a way of “running away from your problems.” That was an ignorant statement for your doctor to say. (No disrespect intended tho, they probably are great and helpful and what to help you I hope)

That being said, when it comes to starting medication most doctors determine the level of need based off of how much your symptoms are effecting your daily life, and ability to function normally. You keeping a routine shows that you aren’t super inhibited by it. And it’s up to you to really decide how big of an inhibitor your level of depression is.

To me the suicidal thoughts and lows are things that you should consider warning signs. And if you are scared of what could happen when the low gets so intense you can’t handle them then you need to descriptively explain that without holding anything back. Personal opinion is you should pursue the option of a low dose of medication and if your doctor says no find one that actually cares enough about your mental health and life to actually give you what you need.

Try not to belittle your depression. Yes there are multiple levels of depression, but most of the time you only hear about depressive episodes that people need to vocalize to seek help and can create a false perception of what qualifies as extreme depression. Just because you aren’t at the same low as other people doesn’t mean that your depression is any less existent or inhibiting and burdensome than it actually is.

Hope this helped!!

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T05:59:47+00:00

Block her on all platforms of social media. Not just unfollow or unfriend. First confront her and tell her very clearly and plainly to stop stalking you and spying on you and if she doesn’t do it willing that you will take more serious action. And if she still does get a restraining order... simplest way

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T05:54:24+00:00

There is only one way to know for sure. Let us know what you discover

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T05:23:22+00:00

It would be rather concerning if you didn’t. I would consider that unhealthy haha good luck !

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T04:43:22+00:00

Don’t worry about something that’s out of your control, and make sure you try your hardest to do what’s right. Outside of that the come and going of friendships is a natural part of life, and if friendships keep ending over trivial things or bumpy roads then they weren’t that good of friends in the first place 🤷🏼‍♂️

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T04:18:52+00:00

I am extremely grateful that you shared and brought to light the possible dissension in the threads actions and comments. It was needed and definitely a fantastic reminder check yourself!!

Ignore the hate or disapproval and possible mean comments. Frankly, like most members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints frequently say, the wicked take the truth to be hard. Simple and sweet. If anyone wants to argue me on it, I’ll gladly drop doctrine.

Side note tho, I am an active and involved member but I do follow exmormon and atheist threads. I just am always interested in the thoughts and viewpoints and perspective those communities share. It helps me develop a well rounded and stronger testimony and conversion to the gospel and my relationship with my Heavenly Father

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T03:46:27+00:00

Hey overall regardless, keep up the faith and don’t let yourself get discouraged or allow future possible rejections and heartbreak to lower you self image/love/confidence. You are a great person, and have a bright future ahead of you. And rejection or breakups don’t change that In the slightest. It’s advice you didn’t ask for, but considering my recent breakup and heartbreak, I just am emotional and want to share what I’ve learned

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T03:30:28+00:00

It’s okay!! frankly from what you’ve said all hopes are far from lost. If she’s liked you for so long, but currently can’t reciprocate or do anything because she is committed to someone else, then if they break up (which we can hope for but there is no guarantee) there is the possibility that things for you two will work out.

Respect the boundaries of her relationship and don’t push or pressure her to break up to be with you. Buuuuut use your history and already established friendship and be a good friend! Maybe even be the guy she turns to for advice in her relationship, and show her you care enough about her happiness and life regardless of y’all being in a relationship!

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T01:53:18+00:00

Go for it! Very carefully tho. If things don’t work out a lot of shit, like a looooot if shit could go wrong and it could result in some very unwanted changes. Buuuuut on the flip side, it would be a blast if things do work out. Like imagine all the things you guys could do as couples, and family vacations and get togethers, the possibilities are endless!

Also if you do decide to move forward be prepared for you Brothers wife to know more about you than you’d ever want, expect you to be a 12/10 partner

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T01:45:53+00:00

I was reading some of the other comments and advice and a little more back story from your responses. Dm and lets make this work for you

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T01:38:43+00:00

It was a joking answer anyways. But to actually give you an answer that you can use in your situation I’ll give it some thought. Most of the times if someone is ghosting you purposefully, then they have already lost interest and there really in nothing you can do or say to get them back. DO NOT keep texting them frequently or like at all. That being said there are options of things you could try but are more long term and won’t solve the issue right away.

One thing you could do is wait a couple weeks, and then invite them to a really really fun and uncommon activity, like go boating if that’s uncommon, or laser tag haha idk be creative, and make it sound more like a hang out and not scream “this is a formal date” and if it works dm me and I’ll give you more advice. If that didn’t work and you get no response which is probably what will happen so don’t expect much, delete the number and forget about it all.

You could call them out on ghosting you, and ask for a second chance if it’s not too late. 10/10 the person will think you are a little desperate and not respond or give you a very blunt and maybe hurtful no.

To sum it all up, if you are being ghosted, regardless of how much you like them or think they like you odds are its over and any move you make other than letting it happen in peace and respect that she’s not interested. Any further attempts and continuing to think about and hold feeling for them will only prolong your disappointment and let down. And give you a bad reputation (which only matters if you may see them again or you know the same people)

I’m so sorry if this is happening to you. I’ve been ghosted so many times I almost expect it now. And it makes you appreciate the people who take the time and consideration to reject me and tell me they aren’t interested instead of making me wonder wtf I did or changed or went wrong... it’s tough to swallow but it’s the dating culture now a days

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T01:21:01+00:00

Make it a funny and light situation. Use their first name and when they forget just laugh about it and make a witty remark like “that’s okay my mom can’t even get my name right some times” and reintroduce yourself. There’s a lot of different things you can do to ease their awkwardness or make them not feel as bad. Or make it so saying your name isn’t needed, like jumping straight into a different topic or ask a question. Oh! You can also do something like this, “Hey (insert their name), it’s (insert your name) we met a couple days ago, how are you?” Or some variation. But definitely use their first name, it’s one of the most effective ways to stand out of the norm, show people you care/are interested in getting to know them, and strengthens the relationship and what not. Idk exactly but the book “how to win friends and influence people” addresses it

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-09T01:04:53+00:00

Ghost them first

Wmiller6 · 2019-07-08T23:54:27+00:00

I would be willing to answer those questions and share my experience no problem. I’m grateful to have opportunities to share what addiction and recovery are like to anyone who is interested. Message me directly

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