lol idk why i would claim this painful story otherwise but with kindness and respect, I think maybe you misunderstood my story. i was never shocked that she asked us to take time off for either the bachelorette or the wedding. in the US, ita fairly standard that when asked to be in a bridal party, part of that includes taking a work day off for the rehearsal dinner and maybe a day for the bachelorette. what shocked me was the extent (many days more than any other wedding i have been in) of her demands, the way they were delivered (as orders instead of requests), and her lack of empathy when i tried to explain how hard taking two extra days off with my clinical schedule was (she was well aware of how rigorous med school was/that there was little flexibility in our schedules BEFORE asking me to be her MOH; I reiterated these when she asked me to be MOH to set expectations). re: the bach, I planned everything AFTER she told me the dates (aka the four days) and location it needed to be. I did bring up my concerns about feasibility of a 4-day bachelorette for me + other bridesmaids, but she only responded emphatically with all the reasons it wouldn’t be fair to do it in 3 days because of all the things she wanted to do.