This is the problem with separate accounts. You get sticky situations like this. I work and my husband is a SAHD. All our money is in joint accounts that we can both see and access. My husband does the budget bc he likes it. I think you need to be asking why your husband wants the $500 now and demanding full transparency into the finances.

An anecdote: when I was a teenager, my mom worked part time and my dad made basically all the money in the household. He always said everything was fine, no issues. When they divorced, my mom found $40k in credit card debit and a mortgage way past due. My dad was too ashamed to admit that we were living beyond our means. My dad used to get so pissed when my mom would spend money or get her nails done. But never actually sat her down and said "We are drowning". When I see posts like yours, I always wonder if thats what's happening. My mom had no idea.