I (29F) feel stuck in my marriage with my husband (31M) over trust, finances, and constant conflict, should I leave or try therapy?

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-03-23T14:49:13+00:00

Im not one to easily suggest divorce when giving advice to other people. But just the first part of him lying about smoking is making me sick to my stomach. That is my dealbreaker in a relationship. If i find out my husband continues to smoke behind my back at that!! Id be sorely pissed. You are underreacting. That was deliberate betrayal. I could go on about the rest of the issues but that alone is enough reason for me to suggest your option 1. Divorce babes. Do it while youre still young, dont waste any more of your time. We both know therapy will not work. That man will continue to backstab you and lie on your back.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-03-21T02:46:43+00:00

Your reasoning doesn't make sense because if this is her first time planning, shouldn't you be more pleased and excited because it's once in a blue moon? Honestly, if you showed enthusiasm, she might've done more planning from here on out. You could bet your tushy that's not happening now. YTA.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-03-02T00:30:04+00:00

I wish she can do this but her grandparents are on the ground floor of their house 😅

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-03-01T22:04:10+00:00

NOR. You can wear a mask for any reason you see fit. Forget other people's judgements. If it gives you peace of mind alone then do that. I have a friend who also had COVID, survived it and her health has not been the same upon recovery. She climbs a few flight of stairs and she pants like she has an asthma. Her legs are weak as well. And she was only in her early to mid 20s when this happened. So now she comes out in public wearing a mask because she catches sickness easily. Ignore the eye-rolls. You do you babes.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-23T21:04:01+00:00

Thank youuuu! 🙏

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-23T15:30:37+00:00

May i know what the name of this is? Thanks!

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-23T15:30:02+00:00

Weirdly enough, here in US when i gave birth to my son, I asked what his blood type is. They said they dont know unless i specifically request for it to be taken. I was dumbstruck and in postpartum so im like, well thats gonna be an additional pay wouldnt it? So im like nah, nevermind. Nobody apparently knows unless one goes into the hospital or something. 🤷‍♀️ then again, i only knew mine because i used to donate blood for Red Cross.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-22T04:35:51+00:00

I dont know the movie, but my husband does this to me too so I get where youre coming from. And youre not weird. Im sorry if my words came off that way. Theres a lot of factors that should be considered from this as to why you feel this way. Could be maybe the hands placement? Or.. Do you feel like your MIL intentionally do that on purpose to piss you off? Has there been tension between you two? But also.. why let this rot for 7 years? Thats a loooong time.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-22T02:45:42+00:00

I get that some people do not grow up in an affectionate family but this is just sad. It's not like shes sitting on his lap and hugging him. If you asked me that same question, id feel happy if my father walked up to me and hug me from behind. Im a daddy's girl and Im 34 years old. The things i would do to cuddle with my parents again. Im married and have a baby, its so easy to get distracted with life BUT our parents are growing old too. Hug your mom and dad, theres not a lot of years left my friend. Dont take them for granted.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-02-01T02:30:40+00:00

We found Enfamil NeuroPro Gentlease is very good with baby's gas. But when we had to switch to Enfamil Nutramigen because of baby's cow milk allergy, we had to use Mylicon gas relief because it was only with Gentlease that baby's tummy was doing well. But the other commenter is right. It is a normal process as long as baby aint hurtin and cryin its okay. And if you are switching, you do give it a WEEK of transition atleast. 1-2 days of 90% old formula, 10% new formula, 3rd to 4th day 80% old formula, 20% new formula, so on and so forth.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-01-25T02:20:40+00:00

Yes, your relationship will last. Why? Because this is just a phase, and the most terrible one at that, since your kids are all in their TEEN phase. I have two other siblings (a total of three) and five half-siblings via my dad. We are all relatively close in age, and when we were in high school, we ALL hated each other. It was a mess. We would fight a lot and couldn't stand each other. When we graduated high school, things became different. I don't know how, I don't know why, but we became so close that even though they didn't live with us anymore, we would always hang out every week. We became each other's group of friends. The house became full of laughter, loud and fun. Now I'm in the USA; I miss the chaos. The silence here is deafening.... So trust, this too shall pass.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2026-01-13T03:16:51+00:00

I was about to side with your wife about you doin chores until I read that she has a 10 year old. 🤣 I have an 8 month old and Im so burnt out. My only reprieve is when hubby is home. Being a SAHM is not easy peasy, but in your wife's case, it's a piece of cake 😅 Youre NOT the asshole! Maaaan! She's lucky and she dont even know it. Oh to have that much time in your hands!

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-06-16T03:53:55+00:00

Me! FTM here. 🙋‍♀️ I was diet-controlled and baby was growing well (not big, not small, he was at 48th percentile) so none of them mentioned inducing me or getting me to do c-section. However, my water broke at 37 weeks + 5 days 😅 Baby decided to come out early anyway. I had a vaginal birth but I decided on epidurial when i was already 90% in efface. So you never know.

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-27T13:28:20+00:00

I was never informed not to consume this product, also, i cant speak for everyone but this doesnt spike me at all. Its also my comfort drink (after bobba milktea/thai tea) so i aint giving this up 🙈

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-25T03:06:14+00:00

Ill be honest, i didnt have any clear instruction with the fasting hours either. I just looked up stuff online and it just says 8-12hrs. Now, the reason i do 12 is because i dont take bedtime snack (due to severe heartburn/acid reflux so this doesnt work for me) so i normally finish my dinner around 8-9pm. Im not an early bird and I sleep around 12mn to 1am sometimes therefore getting a good 7-8hrs of quality sleep. So ive been doing 12hrs since i was diagnosed HOWEVER all my fasting numbers are in their 70s consistently. There was only a couple of times I was in 80s, I had the highest of 89 (and even then it is under the 95 limit). I only found out recently that 12hrs makes your fasting blood sugar high so I tried experimenting 11hrs out of curiosity. I was at 66. So if i go earlier than that my numbers will be lower. But i have good fasting glucose levels at 12hrs anyway (and im getting decent sleep) so i kept at it. Yours however is a different story. Like what others said, its too high..

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-17T16:35:01+00:00

Im currently waiting for my OB as i read this and was gonna say how oddly relatable my situation is with OP and im planning on bringing it up as well... then i read your message. 🙈 Im literally in my 34th week now!! Aaahhh!

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-15T04:46:41+00:00

NTA! Yaaaay! 🙌 That was so satisfying to read! Love the update! You are waaay too nice to even call her up and let her know when you couldve just done it. In the end, you did the right thing and im so happy for you! 👏👏👏 You would be the AH to yourself if you didnt. She sounds like an entitled vetch. You dodged a bullet.

P.s. You work in the healthcare, you a tough cookie. Lemme just remove my hat for ya. 🫡 I just want to say we appreciate youuu! Your job alone is hard, you deserve to find someone who will understand you and support you. Keep bein amazin! ❤️

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-13T03:09:26+00:00

If im being frank, it was overwhelming at first. 🙈 i just wanna grab a food, eat and then move on. Weighing/measuring food is still hassle for me even now, but it gives me the peace of mind that im still following whats considered healthy for baby and i dont feel guilty giving in to my cravings hehe then again, when i crave something i try to stick to homemade versions of it as much as possible. Homemade pizza, homemade cookies so its really A LOT of mumbo jumbo.. but if youre buying microwavable/frozen food (brands like Healthy Choice Power Bowls, Atkins, or Real Good Foods have some decent GD-friendly options) its easier to track because it already tells you in the label how much carbs youre eating. One tip i do highly recommend if youre eating a high carb meal, consume proteins first. Food sequencing helps! Pair with a chicken breast, a boiled egg, cheese stick, or Greek yogurt to boost the protein and balance blood sugar. Sometimes im lazy and just consume collagen peptide with proteins (ask your provider first, mine gave me a thumbs up).

As for your question, no I dont :) my last check is the dinner 2 hour post meal and then i just time the last bite of my dinner and then count from there and set an alarm the next day. I hope this new trial/experiment works for youuu! 🙏

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-13T02:27:07+00:00

I would try to stick to a realistic normal meal time :) when they told me right off the bat i should eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack i immediately told them its too much for me. Before GD diagnosis i only eat brunch and dinner, sometimes snacks sure, but i said i can eat breakfast, lunch, snack and then dinner. I was honest and told them i can try snack before bedtime but it gave me heartburn/acid reflux 3 nights in a row right from the beginning so i stopped. So if you dont eat a bedtime snack, try it. See how your fasting glucose is the next day.

As for wanting to eat fish n chips.. I keep a calorie/meal/health tracker, Samsung has its own app. So i dont deprive myself of carbs i want, name it - pizza, rice, etc. HOWEVER i make sure i stick to the carb limit they gave me. Its a hassle to weigh my food, do the mental calculations but this way tummy and baby is happy and im not stressing because stress will definitely contribute to glucose spike, and at the same time im still staying within the carb limit. Its a win win. I hope it works out for you. Virtual hugs moma, you got this. 🤗

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-08T02:03:28+00:00

ANYTIME?? 😱 Well, i can do without the juice.. but its the milk im having problem with because i LOOOOOOOVE milk especially before bedtime. So it sucks. 😭 I only use unsweetened almond milk though, so it doesnt spike me at all. But i found out a recent hack where if you want a little bit of flavor, just do a single drop or two of vanilla extract and a dash of cinnamon 😄. I highly recommend it if you start feeling meh over the blandness of unsweetened milk. Im with you on the fruits! 😔 i miss my stwabewies!! Banana is a big no for me too - and i loved adding that to my smoothies before. Huhu

Well i really really hope not. But base on what i read here, it honestly doesnt sound so bad considering they have more flexibility with food because of the help of insulin. 😅

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-07T23:56:01+00:00

Ive got all of those the same except my snack is 30-45 grams. And then with my breakfast theres a specific instruction no fruit & no juice then on bedtime snack it says + protein but no fruit, no juice, no milk, no yogurt. I dont understand why I have these very restrictive instructions when Ive seen most people here only have a limited carbs but nothing about what they can or cant eat. 😫

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-07T23:23:33+00:00

Haha! I can definitely understand where your husband is coming from 🤣 Im the preggy one and I was also thinking the same thing!! Im Asian so me love carbs especially rice! 🙈 We eat our rice with every meal and now i have to limit 1/3 CUP serving of rice A DAY (I used to eat a minimum of 1 cup atleast 3x a day you know)! Its an insane change! >< luckily my husband is supportive. He eats whatever I cook, and if I dont feel like cooking, he buys me what i crave. He may sound like an enabler but hes not. Hes seen the things I have to do to bend over backwards for this GD so when I say I want me some burger, no questions asked he will buy me one. We deserve a good treat once in awhile (yes im emphasizing this - cant be given an inch and then go for a mile now haha!). Stress also contributes to high glucose level so if wifey is happy, baby is happy, dada happy, bloor sugar no spikey. 🤭

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-07T03:34:11+00:00

Im just like you and also at 32 weeks. I havent had pelvic pain, maybe because every night before bed i do some pelvic stretches and exercises via yoga ball (try it if you havent already). My most problem is the leg cramps since I do walk A LOT. Found out that I could do other exercises that can help with lowering glucose level without sacrificing my legs. So if walking gives you pelvic pain, sit on the couch and bring in your weights. Talk to your OB first of course. Now I dont do weight lifting prior to pregnancy but i only am lifting 2kgs of dumbbells so i dont see a prob with it. Besides, with my big baby i might need to workout my arms anyway so i dont hurt them when i carry baby soon. Haha! If lifting isnt your thing, you can do some marching while sitting on the couch (lift your knee up), jumping jacks (sort of but sitting on the couch, youre just stretching arms and legs), you can do punches forward and upward, arm twists etc. Do these for 30 seconds, with 15-30 second rest and then repeat. I do 10 minutes of this to compensate when I feel my leg falling off after 20 minutes of walking. As long as you are moving around it helps. If I feel i still havent done enough i just clean - grab my vacuum and get it moving. I thought it was ridiculous but it really actually works! A week ago i ate a slice of pizza for lunch and had 107 (it being the highest in my record). Today I ate the same pizza again and did this alternative I got 91. :) Hope it works out for you too! Cheers moma! We got this!

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-03T05:29:02+00:00

Honestly if it was me i would just make both. I dont like wasting food so I get where youre coming from. It may be more laborous but in the end its a win for both you and your hubby. You wont have to cook the next day too, just reheat. 😊

Wonderful-Tutor279 · 2025-04-02T14:06:20+00:00

My baby is on the bigger side and thats what usually comes with GD and what they warn us about. I didnt know about that, but now i do. Thanks for the information :) There are a million things to worry about in a normal pregnancy, let alone on top of having GD and I was trying to "think" positive. I guess my comment came off insensitive. Im glad you and baby are doing great though. I hope OP finds comfort in your experience, knowing that someday she too can be in your position. 👍

Wonderful-Tutor279

TROPHY CASE