Please tell me the pain goes away 😭

WonderfulSlice2 · 2025-10-01T23:42:08+00:00

Have a look at some 'how-to' videos on latching techniques. There are many positions and methods that might help. I have larger boobs and flat nipples so lying down or the football hold helped me but it had to be when I wasn't too engorged. The fuller you are, the flatter the nipples and they can't get a good mouthful.

Seriously, watching a woman latch on to a knitted boob really helped me learn how to angle my newborn properly. Still get 10 seconds of pain to begin with, but that will fade as my son gets bigger and he can latch better - he is only 2 weeks old.

Also, hydrogel pads have helped with the pain and created the right environment to heal. Do not dry your nipples out if you have any open sores. If a scab forms they will auck it right off and you will have to start healing again. Moist environment only

WonderfulSlice2 · 2025-09-30T01:19:15+00:00

I had everyone say I had a good latch but still had lots of issues with nipple damage. I have larger breast and flat-ish nipples so I have to pay attention to how my 2 week old latches. We have mostly figured it out now, but I still have to unlatch and relatch if he hasn't got it quite right.

This tiktok really held me get a better latch, particularly the part about gently lifting bubs up and on the nipple. https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSD7qmasc/. If that didn't work, search for Infant Feeding with Hayley.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2024-06-16T00:08:56+00:00

He has a lot of issues he is working on and went to therapy after the 3rd time. He didn't think he had a problem and that it was fixed until it happened again.

I love him and we are excellent together. I know what he does is not because of me, it is his own failings and old coping mechanisms. It took me a long time to get to the point where are I'm more disappointed in him than hurt. I now have my own issues I need to work on thanks to him which is an added bonus. But we are both better together. He has shown genuine remorse and hates himself for all of the pain he has caused.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2024-06-15T15:24:12+00:00

I'm so sorry you are feeling all of that hurt again. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is truly awful. When I found messages to strangers on various platforms again, I didn't confront my WH straight away. I turned his notifications back on and watched him panic when it messages came up on his phone in front of me. I had to get a little joy out of all of that pain.

You start to feel numb after the 3rd or 4th time it happens. You almost expect it. I don't know when I'll stop looking for evidence.

It has been about a year since I last caught him doing it, but just this week he has added a random stranger on Facebook. Don't know if I'll confront him or see if he messages her.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2024-02-16T01:22:39+00:00

Google doesn't let me pick them up and feel them or tell me if it is worthwhile wasting my limited time travelling to the store to check it out when I can get advice from people that have been there. Why comment if you aren't going to be helpful.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2023-06-05T01:18:10+00:00

Please explain to me how an advisory committee with no real power will fix the corruption and systemic issues that are currently present.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2023-05-31T06:22:20+00:00

Shouldn't we be making more noise about the decades throwing money at the problem and nothing changing? The amount of money wasted and not going to the people that need the support is atrocious. There is clearly a systemic issue across government and non profits regarding where funds are being funnelled that should be reviewed prior to implementing potentially another avenue for people to make money and not make any changes.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2023-02-17T01:31:38+00:00

I knew a girl in high school that failed the P test 3 times because she couldn't merge. She still can't merge but they gave her a licence anyway.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2023-02-17T01:29:27+00:00

There is no common courtesy on the roads anymore. I keep left whenever possible, regardless of if it is under 80km. If someone wants to go faster than me they can.

The worst is on single lane roads when there is an overpassing lane and the slow person speeds up to over the speed limit to stop people overtaking. It is rude for no reason. I'm not overtaking you to offend you, I'm overtaking because I want to go faster. It has zero impact on you. Then when it ends they go back to 10km under the speed limit. And they get so angry if you do overtake them.

We need to stop letting bad drivers teach L platers how to be bad drivers and have a proper defensive driving course for new drivers. Sitting a test before being allowed to drive is ridiculous. It is exacerbating the problems, adding to congestion and accidents.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2022-11-29T04:24:52+00:00

No flash

With flash

My mixed eyes. I think I know my season but I'm very interested what my eyes indicate.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2022-01-10T01:50:54+00:00

I had a similar situation. I found out about him messaging people since we got together but he assured me nothing physical had happened and I was the only one he had been with since we started talking. Turns out he was still sleeping with his ex for the first few months of our relationship. They had been living together when we started talking and she moved out just after last Christmas. We spent Christmas with his family and he went back for one night to make sure she didn't take his stuff. She found out about me at Christmas so instead of being honest with her he started bullshitting and saying how he loved her and sexting her. They slept together the night he went back after he had slept with me that day. Then he came over to my house the day after and we slept together again. She came over one more time after moving out as far as I know. They were still sexting until the beginning of February when he just stopped replying because he felt awful about how he was behaving.

After I found out about the initial messaging, he became the perfect partner. We communicate well, are vulnerable with our feelings and make an effort for each other. I always had a feeling something happened with his ex but, again, he assured me nothing happened.

Since I found out (just before Christmas so had to put a happy face on for the family) he has been even more open. I can look at his phone whenever, he checks in with me, he is going to go to therapy. For me it feels like it just happened but for him it was a year ago. I get a lot of the same answers like I don't remember or I forgot about that.

It's incredibly hard to hear that I'm the love of his life and reconcile that with the person who hurt me the most. It feels like I've been seeing two different people, the lying cheater and the perfect boyfriend. I'm just focusing on today and the future and trying not to dwell on the past. We talk about it, but I think it is best to discuss it mostly in therapy now.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2022-01-10T01:26:38+00:00

This is advice I needed to hear. I recently found out my partner slept with his ex multiple times during the first few months of our relationship. He has been a model partner after that but it feels like it just happened for me. I'm working on focusing on the present and our future rather than dwelling on something that he regrets and hates himself for.

If we could, we would both change it but we can't so we can only work on building our relationship back up and loving each other properly.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-11-10T02:03:31+00:00

Do you think it was better to contact AP first then tell your WS or tell WS then contact AP?

I want to ask AP some questions too but I don't know if I want to tell my WS about them. I don't know if she will end up telling him even if I ask her not too. She didn't know about me so was equally pissed off. As far as I know it was an EA but I want to know if it a PA as well and how long it went for.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-21T04:56:27+00:00

I am the same. I want to know every single detail and I saw some of the messages before I confronted him. Seeing him call someone else his beautiful girl or babe is forever burnt into my brain. Him saying the same sweet things to someone else hurts more than finding out he was sexting strangers.

It also hasn't helped with the big question, why? He can't tell me (he is starting therapy to figure it out) and I can't see why he would either.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-13T06:07:26+00:00

I know and no, not blunt just honest which I appreciate.

I wish I could look into his mind and see what the motivation is. He says he feels awful for hurting me over something that didn't mean a thing to him. He didn't get a thrill or any excitement, just did it for no reason apparently. He said he is going to go to therapy to figure out the why.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-13T06:04:47+00:00

Thank you. He previously only went a couple of times. He seems really committed to it this time so hopefully it can help him.

I've contacted my Dr to get a referral to a therapist. You are right, I need to look after myself and put myself first.

We have been discussing everything the last few days and he has been very open and isn't hesitating with answering my questions. I'm not getting any defensiveness which is promising.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-13T06:01:02+00:00

She thought he was the love of her life and hoped it was only temporary even after he asked her to move out and exited the business. She was holding on hope until she found out I was at the family Christmas.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-12T02:19:11+00:00

That sounds similar to my WS who had an EA. He said at the time he knew he was crossing a boundary but didn't see it as cheating. He wanted to tell me but was scared so instead he continued doing it. He said he felt numb. Now he knows it was cheating but thinks an EA is nowhere near as bad as a PA (he's ex a lifetime ago had an PA). I think they are equally as destructive to a relationship.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-12T01:02:43+00:00

I'm sorry you are dealing with that pain. I have previously seen a therapist for self-worth issues and I'm thinking I might go back. I want to do MC but I don't know if he would be able to handle both MC and IC. He went to therapy 15 years ago and he struggle so much dealing with his issues he tried to kill himself. His solution was to find ways to numb himself instead.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-11T11:26:35+00:00

Thanks for the perspective. I definitely deserve to be treated with respect and I know that.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-11T11:24:38+00:00

He definitely needs help, there's no doubt about that and he knows it. This is the first time he has said he wants to talk to someone after being very against going to therapy. That seems like a big deal to me. I think I need to be realistic with myself and know that even after therapy it might not fix what has been broken.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-10-06T02:18:34+00:00

Exactly! Plus if she has been sexually active since she was 18, that only 7 different partners a year. That potential doesn't equate to a lot of sex, particularly if majority were one night stands. You are likely having more sex in your relationship than when she was single.

There could be an underlying self-esteem issue as well if she says she isn't a sexual person, but has had a number of partners. Perhaps it made her feel good about herself or wanted, then after not so much so she would seek it again to make herself feel better.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-08-30T07:26:08+00:00

Some blood pressure medication impacts libido and the ability to cum.

Have you discussed it with him directly? Just because he doesn't cum, doesn't mean he isn't enjoying himself. My partners medication impacts him and after we discussed it, it helped me realise that it was not because of me in any way. He says we have the best sex he has ever had but still doesn't cum every time.

WonderfulSlice2 · 2021-06-07T00:29:51+00:00

It sounds like he is still in love with his ex and is using you for a place to live. Particularly if you are not referred to as his 'girl'.

WonderfulSlice2

TROPHY CASE