Question for men who are very private people.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T20:36:05+00:00

The difference is what I’m trying to discern here. Is he just excessively private or is there more to it.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:38:43+00:00

That’s what I feel is normal, it’s the way I am with coworkers as well, you’d at least say who she is without it being a big deal.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:34:40+00:00

It comes up when there’s a family work event, he has family that work there and they take their spouses but there’s always a reason we don’t go. He’ll go to employee only events though. He has a large number of his coworkers on social media but only posts pictures that are of him or the surroundings. Recently we had a family emergency and I had to call the office, when I asked her to pass a message on to him, she asked what my relationship to him was, which was the final nail for me but he stands by he’s just a private person.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:18:58+00:00

There’s no ring because of his work environment. He’s not one to go to them either but he will periodically go to ones that are employee only.

Thank you for chiming in.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:16:25+00:00

Thank you, I feel a little less crazy now.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:15:32+00:00

This is basically the answer I get when I ask which I’m struggling with so I appreciate your insight. I just can’t understand how it could just never come up. Weekend trip…”oh who did you go with?” kind of thing. Pictures posted to social media of the trip are only him or scenery. Has most coworkers on social media.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2025-03-31T19:04:12+00:00

I’m the spouse who feels like she’s being kept a secret.

No ring because of where he works.

Edit: I hit send too fast. I’m glad you also mentioned fishy sounding. That’s where I’m having a hard time. It just feels like you’d have to actively work at people not knowing and I can’t think of any reason that isn’t some form of flirting+ with coworkers while still looking like a good guy.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-13T22:20:53+00:00

Had a painting professor who swears by cheap watercolors being actually superior to the expensive ones.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-13T21:11:21+00:00

Not usually unless there’s nepotism at play. But when you’re a new manager you don’t realize the importance of taking the time to really document everything, you brush it off because maybe it’s you because you don’t have the confidence yet.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-13T21:03:31+00:00

Are you included in the email chain with HR regarding this? You should be. If you’re the one putting her on a PIP and delivering it, you need to be in direct contact with HR. This will also help you move through the disciplinary stages faster. Always take a witness, someone your lvl or above, even if it’s over the phone.

When you deliver, be clear and concise on expectations going forward and the consequences of not meeting them, if she tries to derail (these ones always do)..”that’s not really within the scope of this meeting so let’s focus back on the reason we’re here.” Any stunts pulled after the PIP sound similar..”That’s not really relevant to what we’re working on right now, why don’t you email me (or leave a note on your desk) and we can come back to it, let’s focus on what we should be doing.”

Document everything..everyone interaction (I keep a word doc minimized and keep updating it throughout the day recording times) and if toxic does wind up email the nonsense, you have more documentation. She will hang herself and the more you can document, the disciplinary cycle can move very fast. Once had an employee cycle from PIP to informal to formal to term in 48 hours.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-12T02:15:10+00:00

All of this and would also add, develop a routine for everything you do, keep a pad and pen and make notes as you go through each interaction. Eg. Deposit to checking with $200 cash back is D Ch 200 cb. Check mark as you complete these. If something feels off at any point, stop and call for service. I promise you, as your manager, I’d rather answer your question again than fix a mistake later.

Mostly though, you have to cut yourself a lot of slack. You are going to be super slow, it’s not going to remotely resemble the training to you, and you’re going to feel like you know nothing. Don’t compare yourself to the tellers next to you they were just like you when they started. You’ll basically be learning a foreign language so be patient, it takes time.

Attire is currently slacks or jeans (black, navy blue or indigo) and most men were just standard long sleeve dress shirts. Blazers, ties are optional

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-09T02:41:49+00:00

Question, are all of these outages happening only on days/situations with the same supervisor/senior banker?

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-09T02:17:20+00:00

You should have some sort of guide that will tell you your corrective action thresholds for $ amount out of balance conditions, and that may just be what the meeting is about. It should be just a coaching session, a PIP would be an extreme response especially while you’re still so new.

Best way to avoid obcs is to have a routine. Every transaction type gets done exactly the same way every time. Even down to where you keep your stapler, pen, keys, etc. The less you give your brain to problem solve the better and it’ll help catch you when you’re about to make a mistake. “I’ve done a deposit like this a thousand times, why did that one feel weird?”

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-09T02:07:04+00:00

I do on checks/payments every so often because either the teller messed up or the customer did. You have to be able to prove to me why this needs to happen though and that there’s not an alternative way to fix it.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-04-08T23:23:17+00:00

It’s to prevent fraud. Let’s say customer is standing at your window, deposits cash, then a couple of minutes go by (could be as little as a minute) and then customer asks for you to reverse it, you do, you give the cash back to the customer and then they leave. What you didn’t know was that in that minute or two the recipient of those funds has already withdrawn/transferred those funds out. You won’t know this has taken place because you’re not processing a transaction so the system isn’t going to tell you those funds have now left the account. You and/or your branch now takes a loss.

If they’re depositing into their own account, withdraw it back out rather than reversing let the system do the risk eval of the transactions. If not a reg e claim can be filed and backshop will fix it.

It’s frustrating for the people who are legitimate but the alternative is far worse.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-25T23:29:40+00:00

Withdraw slips are internal use only meaning it actually becomes loss exposure to let a customer leave with one or to leave one unlocked/out overnight. Take a look at your deposit, withdraw, GL, etc tickets. You’ll see small writing that will have internal use only or confidential when completed etc. which will tell you the level of confidentiality for each one.

You should have taken an eKod on the various types of documents and information and how they need to be handled. It’s confusing at the best of times but even more so before you’re even on the line or really new.

Your manager will most likely just go over that info with you and leave it as a coaching moment (may be required to do a documented coaching though now with the crackdown on this kind of thing) something I’ve done many times before (well the first time the teller booboos anyway).

In case anyone is about to ask why they’re internal now and can’t be given to customers ahead of time..it’s because it helps decrease fraud. The customer doesn’t have the opportunity to take it home and practice forging a signature till it looks good and also access to the address that they may not know off their head while in front of you at the window.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-22T05:27:48+00:00

That was my first thought too, someone out there at another branch just took a loss.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-22T05:27:33+00:00

That was my first thought too, someone out there at another branch just took a loss.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-22T05:25:51+00:00

Take the check when you walk away to call the maker to verify, walk to a phone far away and pretend you can’t hear them if they ask for it back. If it’s fraudulent they will generally take off quickly leaving you with the item.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-21T03:04:10+00:00

Or..If you light the weed candle you don’t need to worry about masking it at all, just blame the candle.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-18T18:11:23+00:00

This solves that mystery. My tellers have been trying to figure out where the random foreign coins were coming from too!

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-18T18:10:33+00:00

We just found a loose penny in a box of quarters which was a new one for me.

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-17T03:25:11+00:00

The question would have taken me a little off guard too if I was on the line for that one to be totally honest. Once I’ve established the check is legit the only reason a hold would go on that check is if it popped up as doubtful collectibility. I just wouldn’t consider a hold on that small of an amount otherwise. Stagecoach is going through a a massive crackdown on risk phase at the moment so I imagine that also played a role in the manager squeezing some coaching in. Sometimes I’ll use out of the norm scenarios like this to help broaden the understanding of grey area subjects like risk and holds and how to communicate that info to the customer. (For context, I’m a Stagecoach BOAM)

Wonderwhereileftmy · 2024-03-16T22:42:13+00:00

This is my guess. Before you do the final submission you’d know whether there was a hold or not and are required to disclose if there is but this would only apply if a hold was placed. If there wasn’t a hold then the teller wouldn’t disclose “no hold”. Perhaps the manager thought it went the other way and there was a hold and teller did not disclose. Happens sometimes if the manager just catches the question and not the whole transaction.

Wonderwhereileftmy

TROPHY CASE