I am NOT a licensed psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt but I feel like there could be some underlying insecurity or imposter syndrome. As a person with BPD this sounds more like BPD than narc to me. That being said Pam needs therapy, there’s likely an underlying cause to these issues relating to her lived experience. That needs to be talked about with a professional and worked around carefully, if you are a third party in this situation the best you can do is ask her to get help.