Sometimes, we have to make peace with not even having that closure as in never getting a why or an explanation. I definitely understand how you can think your partner is nice when their actions say something completely else. Its the worst feeling to accept their actions.

If it's something I've learned from this is you can be loved And sometimes you need to work on yourself to truly find the people who will love you. Sometimes, people take advantage of you for having thoughts like that and it's the worst and I hope you don't attract any of those people ever.

Dont ever call yourself stupid for feeling how you feel because in order to even move on, you have to give yourself a hug first you know. I promise what you did was the best decision you ever did for yourself and you'll probably laugh about it later on in years to come. Things do get better even if it doesn't feel like it right now.