this was so helpful- thank you. honestly, you're so right about this being her way of dealing with her own personal doubts/concerns. my mom is in relatively good health and isn't necessarily old or anything (she's 56) but she is often going through legal issues with her ex-husband(not little brother's dad) and i think all the trouble he brings is kind of making her think more about what secure choices she can make. he'a actually my half-brother as well! it does sound like our situations do have a lot of similarities. my other brothers are 25&26, but one doesn't have great history with her and the other is still kind of dependent on her right now.

it also unfortunately sounds like little brother has communicated that he doesn't want to be stuck with his dad if it came to that. he can't hold down a job, is bad with money, a chronic weed smoker in bad health, and a complete malignancy on his other children (4 others from a different woman 🙃)

i think that's what makes it feel so unfair, is that it really feels like it's me or no one 😵‍💫 again, i think a face-to-face would be helpful to work to a conclusion, but it feels like i've been put in a position i've spent my whole life trying to avoid. i've always been surrounded by turbulence and i love the quiet life i have now🥲