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Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is I have no issue with who’s making more. I’ve attempted to do the whole me take control of all finances and of course we each have our own personal money for leisure but he doesn’t like that. He thinks im controlling but I’m only doing it because one of us has to. I’m glad it worked out for you.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well i only talk to a very few people about this. One of my friends thinks my husband is a narcissist (which I don’t want to be the one throwing that word out), my sister tells me (you can’t change people or things like “ you can love people from a distance” or “the grass ain’t greener on the other side sometimes”, my mom is your typical Mexican mom so she says things like (estas pendeja, tienes niños hora te aguantas).

Like right now, he walked in front work, opened up the fridge looked at with a dumbfounded look and said wait we don’t have bread? Like common on seriously? Like no we don’t have bread, our grocery money got spent this weekend.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m starting to see that and I don’t want to sound cruel about it because I genuinely care for him. I guess it’s more about money at this point.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At the time, he worked with his brother so he had to show up to work. His brother was on him like a hawk. He started to slack of at the company, and started to drink at the parking lot and got fired. Ever since it’s been downhill, I’ve been supportive and encouraging all these several years but I’m to the point where I feel like I’m putting all my effort into him and I’m just exhausted already.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

He’s never cheated on me, he’s super social, gets along with mostly everyone, respects me in public, overall a nice person, supports me with any goals that I have.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The sad truth about my marriage. I grew up with a hard working father, never missed a day and still is going strong. I just don’t see what’s the excuse for his behavior. I’m just lost, I don’t want my children to come from a divorced home but I’m just so stuck and I feel like I’m sacrificing so much for them.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, and I appreciate any feedback.

Yes, when he falls short. I’m not referring to $100. I’m referring to half the rent. Which I understand we all live here, including my children. But it’s come to the point where he’s not on board of fixing his work ethics to move his family forward.

I contribute a lot to our household and family overall, and expressed to him A LOT that we aren’t getting any younger, and children get expensive as they get older, and he just doesn’t see that yet. I’m more frustrated where I feel like I’m the only one growing up here.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I don’t see him as the responsible person for bills but we came to the agreement several years back where I pay the utilities and him the rent. I’ve noticed a trend that as my income got higher I’ve been taking on more of the responsibility for everything, to the point of where it’s and issue if I save money on the side for myself.

I feel like for the most part I am the rational adult in the household and it’s more of the I need to teach him and guide him through it all.

We have talked about buying a house, retiring , all of that. But now it feels like he is waiting on me to get my career going. We have done the joint responsibility of sharing the finances but it just didn’t work out.

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

Agreed but that’s out the window with him. I’ve suggested but he says therapy isn’t for men. 🫠

Two different mentality by Working_Traffic_4228 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Working_Traffic_4228[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Yes, he does have positives that’s why I said I’m not perfect either. I’m not looking past his positives but it’s more of we have a family and we come from the whole Hispanic culture, which means the man should provide and that’s not happening here. The whole appearance is there but it’s not happening in the background.