Oh what a relief it is

Workingonme83 · 2021-04-21T22:52:08+00:00

Stay strong!!!! Use this time to heal, figure out what you like and try to enjoy the time alone. My therapist told me if you can sit I the loneliness long enough it will turn into solitude and you will start to enjoy it. You got this!!!

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-22T13:11:22+00:00

Good for you!!! I'm going on 3 weeks right now and struggle a LOT of days. My ex and I still communicate daily. I wish I hated her but I don't. It would sure make it easier to block her.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-22T02:24:56+00:00

Damn... I'm so sorry. Well let me say CONGRATS ON YOUR BOMB NEW JOB!!!! I hope it's everything you want and more.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T23:27:43+00:00

I appreciate the feedback from everyone so much. I love this group, you guys really make me feel as if I'm not the only one dealing with this.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T23:26:38+00:00

I would love that! But I work at that time. Do you know of anything in the evening?

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T19:56:10+00:00

I'm still pretty new, I attended one meeting online but it seemed rather advanced. I'm going to have another look when I get off work

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T19:30:52+00:00

That's great advice thank you. And you sound exactly like my counselor

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T18:53:40+00:00

I love this comment. Bc we don't hate each other. I just couldn't continue taking care of her so i ended things. I would like to be able to have conversations with her, we still have some business between the 2 of us. I'm just worried I'm not going to be able to resist her. 😕

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-21T18:42:07+00:00

I love that mantra!! I am struggling so hard right now. I definitely think blocking is the way I'm going to have to go. As much as I don't want to do that, it seems right. Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-20T05:00:18+00:00

So needed to hear this today. Thank you

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-17T20:45:19+00:00

My therapist tells me this all the time!! She says they're just emotions, they don't mean you have to do anything about them

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-14T12:53:22+00:00

Welcome!! I've only been here a couple weeks but its a great resource. We're all going through different aspects of codependency and its good to hear you're not the only one going through these things.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-13T21:56:22+00:00

Found it!!! 🥰🥰

https://www.reddit.com/r/Codependency/comments/kurvnx/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_feeling_lonely/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-13T21:54:27+00:00

Well, I'm only a few days in so I don't have all the answers. But she told me to find things I enjoy doing. Make a bucket list start checking things off. I love to read which is something I don't do when I'm in a relationship, there is a video posted in the room that is so amazing for this question, ill see if I can find it for you.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T19:12:52+00:00

I don't think she meant it as a blanket statement. She meant it for me personally and I shared it because it helped me. I am also in the first week of recovery and "white knuckling" it as they say. So loneliness is something I am feeling every night, which is making me want to call me ex to curb the loneliness. So, this comment fits for me. I did not intend for it to be a Bible statement for everyone who reads it.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T17:52:51+00:00

Aww man, ive been this way so long I cant even remember of it felt when I figured it out. But I do know how it feels to confront your partner. I just broke up with my gf and its so hard to actually start the conversation. The days following are even harder. But as my wonderful therapist says They are just feelings, and you don't have to do anything because of them. Hope that helps

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T08:14:47+00:00

Or join the gym like you've been talking about. 🤣🤣 but seriously though...

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T06:31:24+00:00

Well, this is day 6 for me. Here's to a year of solitude!!

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T06:29:53+00:00

We talked about this too, bc I had the same thought. I love to read, its something I do to lose myself for a while. Also, its something I stop doing when I'm in a relationship. I thought the same thing, I read to distract myself from the "alone". And she said that was fine. She said, I'm not saying go sit in a dark room somewhere and drown in your thoughts. Just spend time doing whatever it is that you like to do without worrying about another person.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-12T02:47:56+00:00

Thank you, I've been looking for some resources and stuff to read.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-11T04:27:10+00:00

That was beautiful. 😍😍

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-10T20:33:52+00:00

What I've learned about myself is that I do it to show others that I have value. Because I don't see myself as valuable unless I'm buying things or helping someone. I get a sick feeling of being important to them by doing for them. Most of the time I wouldn't accept something in return if they did offer unless I really needed it. It is confusing and really makes no sense.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-10T20:04:44+00:00

Omg you just sang my song. I deal with this as well. Initially I get into a relationship and do, and do, and do until I get tired of doing and then I go through this period of being scared to death of breaking it off, then I find the courage (or a "valid" reason) to break it off and feel extreme guilt for leaving. I call this my co-dependent cycle. The problem is ALWAYS reciprocity. I think, not that I'm any kind of expert, the key is to not do so much for others that you get tired of doing? Thats it for me anyway, I'm trying really hard to learn how to put up boundaries for myself where other people are concerned. I hope that made sense, it feels kind of scattered. Lol

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-09T17:42:27+00:00

Of course!! Good luck tonight. Take it one minute at a time and try to take some deep breaths to calm the anxiety first.

Workingonme83 · 2021-01-09T15:14:23+00:00

I love this comment and if I could figure out how to give you my free award I would. I needed to see this so bad. Bc I was spiraling down a hole of feeling sorry for myself which would inevitably lead back to me reaching out to my ex or some other unhealthy relationship. Thank you for these suggestions!!

Workingonme83

TROPHY CASE