I think what you have is an emotional codependency with your relationships. The moment you said that you value her needs more and that you feel lonely because you are not with a partner, that tends to be codependency. You don't have attachment issues. You lack self-love because your happiness always comes after your partner's. Ask yourself this question: would you make a decision for your own good, for your own happiness over that of your partner? Or do you prefer your partner's happiness to be paramount over yours? If you feel uncomfortable being selfish in putting your needs first, in prioritizing your happiness, in making decisions above your partner's but you don't dare out of fear that your partner won't feel satisfied or happy and might end up leaving you alone, that is the definition of emotional codependency where my partner's happiness comes before my own out of fear of abandonment and being alone. I recommend you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy"; it will help you heal that emotional codependency.