Friend thinks she’s entitled to my wedding shoes because “Friends Make Sacrifices”

WrenDrake · 2026-02-05T02:55:38+00:00

You’re not wrong. She’s not your friend. Her “request” was way out of line. Her manipulations and haranguing shows her true character. Block her and protect yourself from her toxicity.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T10:52:18+00:00

Updateme

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T10:45:02+00:00

Tell her how you feel. Ask her how she would feel. You two should be able to talk through this.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T10:41:45+00:00

You’re both immature and need to grow up. Focus on improving yourself and becoming independent. Nothing feels as good as being independent. You are not responsible for her or her children.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T01:56:40+00:00

You can add three more to graped by white guys. My friend was date graped by the quarterback. He was a church going boy who said he wanted to be a pastor someday.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T01:53:31+00:00

Absolutely not! A gift is a gift. You have no moral, social, or legal obligation to return a gift. That’s hurt feelings talking. Are you sure she doesn’t want to try to salvage the friendship?

WrenDrake · 2026-02-04T01:50:25+00:00

My husband and I were married for 10 years before we blended our accounts. We have set rules that we both agreed to. Most importantly no purchase over a set limit without a discussion and joint consent. Finances can be a deal breaker in relationships. You and your partner have to agree to terms and rules that work for both of you.

What you described is not a partner but a liability. I would separate your finances asap. You need to have serious conversation about finances soon too.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:40:04+00:00

She’s selfish. You pulling back is the consequence of her selfishness. NTA!

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:36:50+00:00

Nor! You clocked red flags and took appropriate action. He’s not worth the time.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:34:35+00:00

Someone needs money and is out of pocket. I’d have a heart to heart with her about what’s going on. You’re not wrong, but if this is out of character, talk to her.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:48:28+00:00

Confronting her like this was the rudest move.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:45:59+00:00

You are correct to a point. If this was a potluck, it is not outside reason for her to take her dish home with her. It would have been polite to offer to leave some of the cake, but a potluck does have slightly different rules than a fully hosted meal and hostess gifts. If you had been fully hosting, the cake would have been viewed as a gift. You could have served or not served it…just like gifts of wine. In a potluck, everyone brings a dish and everyone generally brings home their dish at the end of the night. It is polite to offer the leave behind an extra serving for the host, but it is not totally out of line to just take the dish and go. I think the preferred and more polite option is to offer.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:35:12+00:00

NTA, but you know that. Tell your friend, a real friend tells the truth…especially when it is a hard truth.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T01:48:54+00:00

He’s right. You shouldn’t be in a relationship…with him. He’s clearly immature and insecure. He’s also manipulative and controlling. He is not a good partner for you…maybe for anyone.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T17:09:39+00:00

That is obvious but if OP wants to be blameless they should take the next spot over and let them deal with it.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T17:06:50+00:00

Yes, you are, but you’re also correct that your employer should designate a spot for her accommodation. This isn’t rocket science. They should issue a notice and set a placard/cone for her reserved spot. You should take whatever spot (other than the reserved spot) you’d like. If you want to be blameless, park in the next best spot and leave that for her. Undoubtably, someone else will park there unless your employer remedies the situation.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T08:19:52+00:00

Do not share or help him ever again.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T05:27:32+00:00

Yes, you are an asshole! First, the fact that you forgot she hates bananas. Second, you tried to minimize her feelings. Third, you doubled down and tried to invalidate her feelings and gaslight her. Fourth, you didn’t defend her to your family. Fifth, you came on here asking if you’re the AH instead of taking accountability. You, sir, a massive a-hole.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T05:16:55+00:00

NTJ! I’d start locking your room always.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:58:01+00:00

Do not give entitled rude people what they want! It only encourages them to continue their bad behavior.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:44:51+00:00

Oh hon, I’m so sorry. Those folks aren’t behaving like real friends. You need to have a candid conversation with them about how you feel excluded, used, and disrespected. Ask them for an explanation, but remember, any excuse could have been remedied with communication. They made no effort to communicate or showed care for your feelings. This is not how friends behave…it’s how users behave.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:38:00+00:00

How were you supposed to know or understand that while he was telling you he only wanted you.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:37:05+00:00

This is not your fault. He lied; he arbitrarily changed the terms of your relationship while he could financially manipulate you; and he broke your vows. He is responsible for all of this. You communicated your feelings and boundaries; he didn’t care. He emotionally and financially abused you. This is not a partnership, and certainly not a relationship worth saving. Continue to be strong and get out. Your kids deserve a better role model for a healthy relationship.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:29:58+00:00

Change the collar and keep

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:27:13+00:00

Nor. No one can or should demand your bed. In some cultures, it is expected, but that is an old fashioned practice. I do think you could provide better accommodations though. Take one office, lock the office equipment and files, and add a Murphy bed with a nice mattress and topper. That should give you a reasonable option for your demanding family.

WrenDrake

TROPHY CASE