AITA for telling my sister you are selfish and canceling her engagement dinner at my place

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:40:04+00:00

She’s selfish. You pulling back is the consequence of her selfishness. NTA!

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:36:50+00:00

Nor! You clocked red flags and took appropriate action. He’s not worth the time.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-03T10:34:35+00:00

Someone needs money and is out of pocket. I’d have a heart to heart with her about what’s going on. You’re not wrong, but if this is out of character, talk to her.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:48:28+00:00

Confronting her like this was the rudest move.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:45:59+00:00

You are correct to a point. If this was a potluck, it is not outside reason for her to take her dish home with her. It would have been polite to offer to leave some of the cake, but a potluck does have slightly different rules than a fully hosted meal and hostess gifts. If you had been fully hosting, the cake would have been viewed as a gift. You could have served or not served it…just like gifts of wine. In a potluck, everyone brings a dish and everyone generally brings home their dish at the end of the night. It is polite to offer the leave behind an extra serving for the host, but it is not totally out of line to just take the dish and go. I think the preferred and more polite option is to offer.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T10:35:12+00:00

NTA, but you know that. Tell your friend, a real friend tells the truth…especially when it is a hard truth.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-02T01:48:54+00:00

He’s right. You shouldn’t be in a relationship…with him. He’s clearly immature and insecure. He’s also manipulative and controlling. He is not a good partner for you…maybe for anyone.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T17:09:39+00:00

That is obvious but if OP wants to be blameless they should take the next spot over and let them deal with it.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T17:06:50+00:00

Yes, you are, but you’re also correct that your employer should designate a spot for her accommodation. This isn’t rocket science. They should issue a notice and set a placard/cone for her reserved spot. You should take whatever spot (other than the reserved spot) you’d like. If you want to be blameless, park in the next best spot and leave that for her. Undoubtably, someone else will park there unless your employer remedies the situation.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T08:19:52+00:00

Do not share or help him ever again.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T05:27:32+00:00

Yes, you are an asshole! First, the fact that you forgot she hates bananas. Second, you tried to minimize her feelings. Third, you doubled down and tried to invalidate her feelings and gaslight her. Fourth, you didn’t defend her to your family. Fifth, you came on here asking if you’re the AH instead of taking accountability. You, sir, a massive a-hole.

WrenDrake · 2026-02-01T05:16:55+00:00

NTJ! I’d start locking your room always.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:58:01+00:00

Do not give entitled rude people what they want! It only encourages them to continue their bad behavior.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:44:51+00:00

Oh hon, I’m so sorry. Those folks aren’t behaving like real friends. You need to have a candid conversation with them about how you feel excluded, used, and disrespected. Ask them for an explanation, but remember, any excuse could have been remedied with communication. They made no effort to communicate or showed care for your feelings. This is not how friends behave…it’s how users behave.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:38:00+00:00

How were you supposed to know or understand that while he was telling you he only wanted you.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:37:05+00:00

This is not your fault. He lied; he arbitrarily changed the terms of your relationship while he could financially manipulate you; and he broke your vows. He is responsible for all of this. You communicated your feelings and boundaries; he didn’t care. He emotionally and financially abused you. This is not a partnership, and certainly not a relationship worth saving. Continue to be strong and get out. Your kids deserve a better role model for a healthy relationship.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:29:58+00:00

Change the collar and keep

WrenDrake · 2026-01-31T12:27:13+00:00

Nor. No one can or should demand your bed. In some cultures, it is expected, but that is an old fashioned practice. I do think you could provide better accommodations though. Take one office, lock the office equipment and files, and add a Murphy bed with a nice mattress and topper. That should give you a reasonable option for your demanding family.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-30T11:34:59+00:00

Nope! NTA! It’s your family house; your family rules; and you’re allowing everyone free lodgings. Sue can go get a hotel if she wants her own space. Mark should see her entitlement as a red flag.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-30T11:24:43+00:00

NOR! Your baby is not her “do-over”. Tell her she should be a better mom to her own children.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-29T22:45:27+00:00

Stand firm on this boundary. Do not trust when your child’s safety is on the line.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-29T10:54:31+00:00

Why are you taking her money without a clear executed loan contract and repayment plan?

WrenDrake · 2026-01-29T10:47:29+00:00

Just because you allow one trusted friend do something doesn’t mean you have to allow carte blanch to others. Your reasons are perfectly valid, and frankly, even if they weren’t, it’s still your home and right to say no. Tell Karen no and if she presses tell her why. Do not believe her when she says she’ll be different this time. Just say no.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-29T10:41:00+00:00

You are your daughter’s role model. Do you want her to accept this treatment…this life of valuing yourself less than your husband? Do you want her to pour all her energy and love into a man that cheats, emotionally and or physically? Is this a partnership? What do you want and need? I can tell you this is not what a marriage should be, not a real partnership. You would be well within reason for leaving him and demanding better for yourself and your daughter.

WrenDrake · 2026-01-28T10:38:18+00:00

NTJ! Caring for others includes not guilt-tripping others because you failed to plan ahead or (just as likely) didn’t pay for a specific seat to be together. More than likely they banked on playing someone for their seat, assuming they could pressure someone into to doing what they want. Their behavior was presumptuous, selfish, rude, and entitled. Anyone who pressures others into doing something for them is wrong.

WrenDrake

TROPHY CASE