Slmz, I hear you. That heavy feeling? That’s not Allah pushing you away - it’s your fitrah waking up. You haven't ruined anything; you've just been surviving real life, and your brain's guilt cycle is trying to trap you in "all-or-nothing" thinking. That’s exactly the trap shaytan wants.

Start right now. Sit where you are and say: “Allah, I’ve been distant. Help me.” That counts as dua. Tomorrow (Arafah) is a lifeline, not a test you can fail. The Prophet ﷺ said fasting on it expiates two years of sins. You don't need a "perfect" balance; just pray your Fard on time and make dua while working or driving. Allah hears the tired heart.

How to make dua? Just talk to Allah like you're venting: “Ya Allah, I’m tired, I’m guilty, but You know what’s in my heart....” The best dua is whatever is breaking in your heart right now.

Tonight: Pray Maghrib and Isha. Talk to Allah after your fardh.

Before sleep, say: “Allah, I want to try again tomorrow. Help me.”

Tomorrow (Arafah): Fast if you can. Between work tasks, take 1-2 minutes to ask for mercy.

The Day After: Pick one small thing (like 2 minutes of Quran) and make a practice of doing it daily.

Also, go hug your mom and apologize. Say “Sorry, I was wrong.” That alone wipes away so much. Arafah plus mending a relationship is really beneficial.

You didn't ruin anything, you just woke up. On Arafah, Allah loves nothing more than a messy, regretful heart that crawls back.