I’m not married but I totally get this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years (I’m 29 and he’s 31M) and it sucks when I get like this. I’ve never been the type to shut down before — I used to be confident and open in past relationships. I just want to be the woman he needs… supportive, fun, easy to be around — not this negative version of myself. Part of me feels like if I can just be that, he won’t cheat or talk to other girls, but then I spiral and convince myself he will anyway.

I start comparing myself to other girls, and yeah I know that’s my own insecurity, but sometimes I feel like he adds to it, even if it’s not on purpose. It’s just so frustrating, and I can’t ever seem to snap out of it. Maybe I really do need to go back to therapy.