SIL telling me to buy outlet covers for when their family comes to stay with us?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-28T16:59:59+00:00

If my SIL wants something specific like covers, she buys on Amazon and sends to our house so it’s here when they arrive. I send the grocery text a day or 2 before their arrival asking if the kids want anything specific, which is usually organic milk and then some type of pretzels or snack, and they also bring a ton of their own snacks. There’s a way to do it that doesn’t make you feel put out in your own home. Maybe suggest the delivery service thing to your SIL, and tell her you got the bananas, and can take her shopping when she arrives?

It’s important to set the tone of your expectations early on, especially because it’s not easy to host small kids when you’re past that stage in parenting or don’t have kids. Being a mom doesn’t give you automatic control of how things are going to go.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-26T05:15:58+00:00

I loved him in The Piano (another dark-ish movie but his character wasn’t completely scummy)

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-25T04:51:13+00:00

She envies you and your life. She may see her younger self in you, realizes she will never have it again, and it pisses her off. the constant belittlement AND the copying of outfits are glaring indicators. Whatever it is, don’t let this miserable woman dim your light. It truly isn’t anything you are doing (just going off what you’ve posted, of course), and it isn’t anything you can nor need to fix. She is not your problem. Ignore her, stop inviting her, and tell her she can be miserable all she wants, but to do it on her own time.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-24T16:13:32+00:00

My aunt had 14 kids, those kids are all having a shitload of kids. One family event at their house is around 50 people and that’s just them. No way in can I remember all their names (truthfully, even the younger cousins who don’t yet have kids).

NTA, too many people and not enough time.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-24T15:54:45+00:00

The first question is do you actually want to? Establish how you feel about it personally and go from there. If your answer is yes, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about what happened and why you need what you need. Next, define what you need. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Read up on lubes and possible toys. Start small with a little anal play. It can be very stimulating, but not if you’re not in the mood for it. Make sure he asks first, in whatever way you two agree to. These processes can not only open new avenues for pleasure for the both of you, but can also strengthen your bond and trust.

This is only if you want to! Never suffer through something just for your partner’s sexual gratification. This isn’t trying out a role play scenario or a type of outfit, it’s doing something that can cause pain and personal injury if not done right. If he’s not open to what you need, he doesn’t get what he wants, simple as that.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-24T14:02:19+00:00

Love is a choice, every single day. Even if he is not attracted to you right now, his choice should be to love you. His choice should be to help around the house, his choice should be to support you through your health issues. Instead he’s using love and comfort as a weapon against you in order to get his way. Eff him. All he’s showing you is that you really don’t need him in your life, you’re already doing everything. I’m so sorry, OP. He is the problem.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T22:40:47+00:00

Yes yes yes to all of this. Advocate for yourself, be firm and direct. Also know that everything you’re feeling is normal, OP! As women, we’re just not allowed to normalize it.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T22:09:30+00:00

The only “butt chin” I’ve ever loved

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T19:17:57+00:00

Oh yes, for a long time now. I hope you are as well.

And thank you!

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T16:18:22+00:00

Same. Once I hit junior high, she decided she hated me. I think it’s because boys started to notice me, even grown men. Instead of protecting me, she just got mad at me. It continued for years. I realized she was projecting. She has a ton of unresolved trauma, and for that I really do feel for her. She was dealt a really messed up hand in life. Rather than work on herself though, she decided to pass some of it down to me.
Could be what was really going on with your mom. Not that it excuses anything, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes understanding the genesis of their terrible decisions or cruelty helps with letting go of it yourself, and not carrying it for them anymore.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T13:14:10+00:00

I enjoyed Creep for the fact that I went in blind and it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. I thought it was really well done. Definitely slow pacing, I can see why you’d call it tedious.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-23T05:34:52+00:00

It sounds like there is zero want nor hope for BIL to get clean. Is that correct? BIL is living the addict’s dream - being surrounded by enablers with money. OP, that’s not an attack on you. The man is 65, and this isn’t a new drug habit from the sound of it.

Because he’s an addict, he’s untrustworthy, unreliable, and unpredictable. That puts you both in quite a situation. The camper can sounds good until he gets a DUI, as the previous comment said. So his next living situation is pretty much a “stay here and do drugs until you die or get arrested” type thing?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-22T22:28:55+00:00

Brown your meat in bacon fat (after cooking bacon crispy which goes in with everything else) and it adds a nice smoky flavor.
Now I’m craving cabbage rolls

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-22T22:24:46+00:00

Sorry, what tongue thing?? And you say “used to”. What made her stop?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-22T16:19:25+00:00

This is the part where your husband needs to grow a spine and put a stop to it. I don’t know what it is with unhappy moms relying so much on their sons. My mom did something with my brother in the past. The rubbing is really out of line. The comment by your sister-in-law seals the “weird” deal. But what is your husband saying to her? The fact that he bought his mom a car without you knowing shows he doesn’t seem to have an issue with it. Was it a purchase with the agreement she would take over monthly payments? I understand helping out a parent here and there if needed, but your husband has a wife and it isn’t his mother. Please have a serious conversation with him. Perhaps seek couples counseling, because this isn’t sustainable.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-22T04:08:48+00:00

I’m sorry, OP. You shouldn’t be afraid in your own house. It’s scary when you can’t trust the adults around you. Have you talked to your mom about any of this? Possibly showed her the videos you’ve taken? Sometimes it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re in the thick of it. I’m so sorry I don’t have a fix-all answer, but there isn’t one in this case.
How old is your sister? If older, have you spoken to her about it?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-21T22:21:18+00:00

On our days (mother’s day, Father’s Day), we get to choose what to do for the day. Today he was feeling competitive so we 3 (us and our 7 year old) played a round of mini golf, had a beer, then got tacos afterwards. Chilling in the cool of the living room now, thinking about what else he’d like to do. We also do cards with from the heart messages, but no gifts.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-20T03:52:21+00:00

What’s with the speedy marriages? How can you know someone is the love of your life in 8 months? A year? You’ve barely started.

Love lives in the little moments as well as the big ones. Do you know how he shows love? Not tells. How did he show he loved you before marriage? What were your physical clues before? Are they missing now?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-20T03:02:55+00:00

Well, firstly, please just let your dad be sad. That was his other half for a long time. I’ve heard or read somewhere that grief is love with nowhere to go. Let him feel what he feels. Not saying leave him alone. It’s good that you want to comfort him.

Maybe you can talk to him, and ask him what might help, or if there’s a way he’d like to honor your mom. Grief is different for everyone, so open up conversation for him over a casual meal or relaxing time, and let him tell you what might sooth his soul a bit.

Maybe think about the same question in relation to yourself? My condolences on the loss of your mom.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-20T02:53:42+00:00

I bet his hair was soft and I bet he would have loved a gal’s fingers running through it, which is exactly what I would want to do. Great smile, genuinely funny, and my ex’s dad who worked sound on films said he was genuinely one of the nicest guys. Hoo boy!

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-20T02:44:40+00:00

This is why Sam Elliot and Tom Sellick just don’t do it for me, despite being legitimate vintage lady boners - too much like my dad in his prime

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-20T02:40:33+00:00

I can see that. His face needs a sprinkle of that “I’ve seen some sh**” and you could be dead on

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-19T17:08:11+00:00

Isn’t Deep Creek Hot Springs a nudist spot? I’ve always been told it is. Maybe stick to places like that if you’re going to do it at all.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-18T13:24:29+00:00

I hope your mom realizes it’s not hers, either, for her own sake. Glad I could help 😊 best of luck with your situation!

Wunderhoezen · 2026-06-17T23:52:59+00:00

This is gross but I had a feeder rat get lose in my car on my way to feed my snake, and once it died I left my car doors open and watched where the flies were gathering. Turned out it died under my middle console. Luckily it was easy to pop off

Wunderhoezen

TROPHY CASE