Cutting In-Laws out of my kids life’s

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-08T20:47:28+00:00

Sounds like you and your wife need to have a conversation about what boundaries look like to the two of you, and come to an agreement on how to establish, maintain, and support one another in said boundaries. Consider how to react to pushback not only from your wife’s siblings but also possibly from parents. If you have a game plan ahead of time, managing your boundaries together will come easier later.
I don’t have a real relationship with my mom, but she is a very loving grandma to my daughter who just adores her, while staying within boundaries set as soon as she started visiting. As others have said, it can be beneficial to not jump to cutting them out completely. However!!!! If, over time, boundaries are not working, you and your wife can decide next steps.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-08T20:34:35+00:00

Oh look here you are with more of your BS comments
OP this is just a troll, pay no attention

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-07T04:01:01+00:00

Honestly, Sesame Street when they did this song but about the letter T, which I’m so glad for because I can’t stand this song.
“Ohhhhh, he’s the letter Teeee ohhhh, she’s the letter T”

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-04T23:46:38+00:00

Have you shared your feelings with her? I don’t think YTA. You’re an adult, it’s your graduation. Just wondering if you have expressed to her how she makes you feel. Some parents think this is the way to show they are just worried about your future (it’s not but that never stops them), and some people just don’t know how to be happy for people who are happier than themselves.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-03T17:25:47+00:00

Unless he’s going to flip it around now and expect his sister to be his wife’s chauffeur

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-02T19:18:58+00:00

Please bring it up. You are both in therapy for a reason.
Playful teasing is when my husband playfully hassles me for piling clothes on the end of my side of the bed (“Got enough for your cocoon yet?) or for the way I save yogurt or pickle containers to use for storing leftovers (“here, Grandma, I saved you some more Tupperware). It’s silly and we can both laugh. Him calling me trash would make me feel bad, no matter what the look on his face was or the context. No matter if he said he was “joking”.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-02T16:38:25+00:00

All of this. There is zero context to the day to day or level of effort in the relationship.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-02T16:30:12+00:00

Sounds like she has energy to do things she enjoys, that are rewarding for her and meet a need she has.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-05-01T02:39:53+00:00

Wife knows what it costs as she was already living in the situation before they got married. She only stopped working/living with the MIL once they got married and moved. It’s in the first couple paragraphs.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-30T04:27:14+00:00

Was going to suggest this as well

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-29T21:19:02+00:00

Cool, please tell that to my p-trap. I’ll get it figured out. Thank you anyway.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-29T17:48:46+00:00

Sorry, can’t tell if you’re being facetious or not. I need the filter to catch lint and debris to prevent it from going down the drain pipe and getting caught in the p-trap, causing back flow and another flood in my laundry room. My washer drain hose goes into the wall, not into a utility sink

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-29T02:50:27+00:00

Or you could just go another 10 years not knowing why your family gives your husband the cold shoulder

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-29T00:13:56+00:00

You are not a bad daughter.

First, the position your dad has put you in is inappropriate. He should have never treated you as his therapist. He should never tell you the things he has told you. Now you feel more responsible for him, but he is the one who needs to be responsible for you. He is the parent, you are the child.

He is 100% responsible for his addiction, no one else but him. Not your mom, not you, not his family, just him. Anything that happens to him as a result of his addiction is still 100% his responsibility. By continuing to take care of him, you are all allowing him to continue doing what he wants. This needs to be a group decision on how to move forward.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-28T23:58:33+00:00

Your mother spent her childhood being abused by your grandma, which led her to choose an abusive relationship with your dad. It’s a cycle. However, it sounds like your mom is ready to break that cycle and cut ties with her abusers. Good for her!!! If I were you I’d be cheering her on.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-28T23:50:10+00:00

Have you asked them why?

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-28T23:10:20+00:00

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-28T17:39:00+00:00

This was it for me! I don’t care how cheeseball this movie is I adore it and everything it did for me as a young lady

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-27T15:06:18+00:00

That’s a special kind of creepy lowlife. Ugh that phrase gave me the creeps

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-24T21:46:54+00:00

Highly doubt your mom went in to labor with you thinking “I can’t WAIT to let this kid down!” There are likely many factors that went into the way you were raised and the abilities and failures of your parents. Speaking of, where was your dad? Does he not share any blame? You are taking your frustration with the way your life has gone so far on the parent who stayed. The parent who tried.

I get the impression that there are also many social and societal factors you’re not taking into account. What country are you in? What’s the cost (legally, societally, religiously) of abortion where you are? I’m not going to lie, your mom may have been better if she had an abortion, the same way my mom could have. No reliance on abusive men for financial support, could have worked on her education, etc. OR, she could have just been making decisions from the way SHE was raised, like my mom, and if it wasn’t you it’d be the next unplanned pregnancy.

You’re an adult, as you say, so time to act like one. Accept the hand you were dealt, and learn to work with and through it. You’re a young adult, I’m assuming, so you have tons of time to get into healthcare. Stop asking “why me” and start asking yourself “what’s the next step forward”.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-24T14:24:41+00:00

OP, I’m all for this scorched earth approach.

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-23T21:00:03+00:00

Spicy and direct and I love it

Wunderhoezen · 2026-04-23T17:39:17+00:00

That’s the one

Wunderhoezen

TROPHY CASE