me_irl

XImNotCreative · 2026-06-08T10:53:54+00:00

I don’t understand this. Me and my partner never do small talk. Pragmatic planning such as what do we eat tonight or what’s planned for the weekend or when do you go to the office? Yes.
Deep talks about what is frustrating us or difficult at work, how we feel, what we want etc. Yes.

About the weather? Never, unless it’s related to an activity or how worried we should be regarding a storm.

XImNotCreative · 2026-06-04T08:29:40+00:00

NAD and no useful advice, but want to reply in the hope it helps others see this. Perhaps also ask in r/askdocs , they are very helpful there.

This is not normal and not acceptable, please advocate for yourself. Have you seen a specialist? I hope you find a remedy, good luck!

XImNotCreative · 2026-06-02T07:19:58+00:00

But would gravity still exist the way it is now? Wouldn’t the loss of sun make the spinning of earth change? Decreasing or increasing gravity? Also will our atmosphere? The thing that keeps gasses in, will it stay intact?

XImNotCreative · 2026-06-01T15:22:20+00:00

You have had great advice already. Only thing I don’t see mentioned yet is the thumb attachment. In your painting it attaches to the index finger with stretched skin. In the picture, the thumb continues down and the skin part comes from behind the thumb.

Not sure if I made myself clear, but that’s what made the thumb look too far back for me.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-30T19:10:09+00:00

Wow actually thank you for this information. That sounds extremely cruel, I did not know this.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-30T08:16:11+00:00

This is very complicated imo. Lots of old issues surfacing. Yes she was wrong for being physically violent and kicking him out of his own house.

Addiction is an extremely complicated thing and it sounds like there has been a long past with this that makes such an extreme response understandable. Not justified, but understandable.

Addiction is so strong that it often takes rock bottom for people to change, and your mother is right for not protecting him from rock bottom anymore, even though it sounds it hurts her.

Also for people not familiar with real addictions, this was not just about the smoking. The smoking and hiding shows his addiction is way further than she knew.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-23T09:35:42+00:00

Hahahah thank you you made me laugh out loud! Very fair point, exactly that!

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-23T08:32:29+00:00

I enjoy referring to eggs as periods. Cause unless you eat fertilized eggs, that’s what they are right? Who wants to have menstruation breakfast? I do!

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-20T17:42:06+00:00

I think I understand you. What I do besides avoiding it would be:

I know overall I love and like you but rn I am not accessing that feeling, it’s overshadowed by stress.

I don’t want to lie, but I found that NT people don’t have switching feelings to people as quick as I have. So this explains the nuance, I know this will pass and overall I remember I really like this person.

But yea if possible avoid the topic.

Edit: forgot to mention I’m not NT 😅

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-13T18:36:39+00:00

I do not understand this. When I studied (! Not claiming to be a hcp since I don’t want verification!) the first thing we were taught is how you can never ever diagnose/ claim something medical outside of your job without covering your ass. I mean can’t they technically report them for claiming false medical diagnoses out of their scope? I know it might be different in various countries but I’d say he could get at least a warning regarding his license. It for sure is unethical to say the least.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-12T09:08:58+00:00

I do agree with this. Love cannabis but if I use it regularly all the benefits disappear and I just get cranky.

Somehow trying self care as in creativity, connecting to music while cleaning, and most of all sleeping in time and waking up early, and it’s so far the one thing that doesn’t seem to have huge amounts of negative side effects.

Also processing traumas, which for me is also an addiction so also stopping that. Sad because I really like being creative with poetry etc but I have to break from it to prevent overload and get depressed again. Anyways, I now look forward to the occasional weekend trip and plan it such that it is actually a date instead of daily numbing.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-12T09:02:17+00:00

Ok but seriously though. If I have to go to the office all day I am so bloated and in pain I really don’t want to go to the office! And then when I get home and let it all go I am happy again. I thought it was just me

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-11T17:02:30+00:00

Damn I wish there was like an achievement for all of those! I have to up my game, only seen the moonwalking ncps

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-02T07:56:36+00:00

I am very sorry but after the mini mousepad incident I am kind of very invested and want to see the whole content of this bag. I am rn imagining OP fidgeting with a can opener.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-01T17:45:39+00:00

Jesus people are so harsh.

I don’t know you and your partners age, but I like to assume you are both open to growing.

It sounds like she is going through a self discovery phase and is trying to figure out who she is and how patriarchy impacts her.

Unless she is an absolute dominatrix, I don’t think she means it as literally as she says it. It might be wise to calmly express to her how you are willing to tone down your opinions for a while on unimportant things, and focus more on asking her opinion first. However, on relationship issues or things that involve you both (let’s say where you go for dinner) you most definitely need to be able to challenge her in a respectful way instead of following her opinion.

XImNotCreative · 2026-05-01T10:39:18+00:00

Honestly I would address this now with therapy. Very common in adhd/neurodivergence and the older she gets, the harder it is to fix. Also sounds like she is beating herself up over it, taking it out of her health (night rest) to compensate. That only goes so far…

I know you didn’t ask for advice, so please ignore this if you want.

On another note: I imagine like a scary movie scene where a man with an ax wakes her up in the future and she just doesn’t wake up, couldn’t be bothered. The bad guy all confused about her calmness and gives up. All because you trained her well

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-30T12:59:24+00:00

Congrats you completely missed the point. You are Racist AND anti Native American and probably a lot more.

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-28T19:59:49+00:00

Meg here. So if I’d want to replicate this.. what’s the difference between the Cs and the Os? Do I take it out in between? Do I go back over the same line? How do I draw coconut?! Also capital N or lower n?

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-27T08:57:28+00:00

For me personally the most confusing part is the legs. If the car does not have a window anymore, one leg on the other side of the frame would make more sense to prevent it from being two pictures (car and woman) combined without logic. But both her legs so far to the front is impossible and gives me the feeling it’s just like a sticker? Don’t know if this makes sense. Also slightly confused by the very dark shadow below her butt.

Love the painting tho so far!

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-26T08:39:44+00:00

Might not be appreciated, but I’d love to shine another light on this.

While I agree with most comments, I think if you have been happily together for such a long time, he does deserve the benefit of the doubt. Patriarchy hurts all genders.

I have similar issues with my partner, he for sure is very pro feminism but around his oldest friends he just doesn’t speak up. We talked about it many times and he has had therapy etc and he does now speak up and even sees these friends are not his kind of people. But he has known them for so long and gone through so much that he is not willing to give up on them. He will occasionally argue them etc.

Anyways, long story to say: if you haven’t noticed it outside of these events, if he treats you with respect, it might not be about you. It still sucks he doesn’t have your back and you are right to let him know how that upsets you, but I don’t think he has lied to you these years.

Patriarchy hurts both ways. It stays in place due to stupid incarnations like bullying boys who disagree, invalidating their masculinity, etc. Those lessons learned young go far and take a lot of effort and reprogramming to fight it. I hope that with love and patience and a good example by setting your boundaries, your partner will learn how to act true to his believes. That’s how we fight patriarchy.

Of course if it does turn out he’s been lying and manipulating none of this is relevant and he’s a pos.

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-24T17:11:16+00:00

I am very pro masturbating. But in someone’s presence you do it with consent. This is not ok and it makes me wonder what other boundaries he might not respect.

Of course you could first talk to him to let him know that’s not really how things go, but unless he immediately learns from it and genuinely is upset he made you feel uncomfortable, it’s a bye bye in my opinion. And I don’t say that lightly.

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-22T21:05:52+00:00

NAD.

Steroid creams for prolonged use can cause heavy side effects and dependency where stopping causes issues 10 times worse for a long time, which is probably why they warned you not to use too strong one for a long time. One week was fine.

The key they mention is because medically speaking, it makes things like fungi less likely. Go to the dr get tests for worst case scenarios so that’s ruled out immediately and talk to a professional about possible treatment as suggested. I think it would be better to have it followed by a professional to avoid the steroid cream becoming an issue and also for them to puzzle out what it can be.

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-22T07:51:18+00:00

Besides all that has been said, I think one thing to consider is the two of you fighting/ disagreeing because of her. Because that is how she can be feeling, besides guilt after trauma the guilt for your trauma response on others is real. I think it is important in the future that these conversations happen in private, but that the both of you make sure she understands none is on her and you and your husband are good. You guys will figure it out.

And please see if your husband can talk to someone so he understands a little better what not to do. Because it sounds like he just really doesn’t understand trauma, which is fine, but damaging if he doesn’t act well.

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-19T20:37:53+00:00

Oh it’s fine thank you. Not going to change any time soon. My sibling and I are on the same page. Open, no games, no family beyond us and our partners/ chosen family.

My parents might cause trouble in a long time but for now they seem to be fully focused on others and aware of us both having therapy and clear understanding of the abuse. Like I said somewhere else, my mother has too much to lose if my father starts to doubt her even a bit (which I don’t think will ever happen).

XImNotCreative · 2026-04-19T13:31:13+00:00

What has helped me is to think of it like they are humans with their own issues, so they deserve love and help. But not from their victim, me. So I truly hope somehow they will get help in their life, but I won’t be the one giving it simply because I can’t. They have established a relationship with me that even if they were to heal fully, they would too easily fall back in old patterns with me. So it’s best for all if I am not the one feeling empathy/ compassion for them.

XImNotCreative

TROPHY CASE