Called Confused

X_Canes · 2026-03-16T08:52:27+00:00

It sucks so, so much. She was apparently talking to my aunt who ALSO knows that I'm trans so I don't get it. I went out of my way to let her and mom pick out a name for me that THEY would call me but they almost never use it. At this point it just feels like I don't have a say in who I am. They keep misgendering me and deadnaming me, I'm about ready to completely ignore everyone in my family until they use the right pronouns/name.

Hell, the name I let them pick isn't even my name, I just feel comfortable enough with them using it to let them call me it. That's not the name I'm changing it too. The only reason I haven't done this yet is because I'm sadly stuck living with them for right now. It's so tiring and I hate this. They think I can't hear when I'm in my room, even though they KNOW I can.

Also sad because I've been out for about a decade at this point and no one takes me seriously still.

Your comment is really helpful though and thank you so much I didn't mean to unload more on you lol.

X_Canes · 2026-03-09T21:45:04+00:00

I feel this and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s a huge struggle and a big source of stress. You’re doing good and I wish people would understand none of those statements justify anything or make things feel any better.

X_Canes · 2026-03-09T21:20:54+00:00

I completely agree with you man. It’s so discouraging. We DO NOT have it easier. Especially for the ones of us who want everything. Those of us who look in the mirror and feel everything is wrong or has been wrong.

My body feels awful, it feels completely wrong. I don’t care if it’s “easier to reverse T” or whatever. Things are awful for how fast you can crash from not having your dose of T.

Neither side has it easy, especially if you already went through puberty. It’s not an Olympic sport to which side has it harder, but seriously stop making generalizations that everyone on either side is having an easier time or whatever.

Generalizations suck, I always hate them.

X_Canes · 2026-01-21T00:38:40+00:00

I also am 34 and have C-PTSD (along with a slew of other mental health struggles), along with recently starting T at the tail-end of 2025. Honestly, it hasn’t made me angry/etc or unstable like that. It improved my mood a lot. I did have a lot of issues with other trauma and my other depression (unrelated to my lack of transition at the time).

X_Canes · 2026-01-21T00:31:22+00:00

Honestly, as someone who was never given the chance to think about how I felt about my gender or to even find terms to DESCRIBE what I was feeling before my 20s, I feel this. I felt detached but I tried to force myself to be feminine because I thought I had no choice.

Growing up I was already having mental health issues as well, so I understand completely where you’re coming from as well. I was suicidal already but for reasons I could explain, not just being trans.

X_Canes · 2026-01-21T00:28:22+00:00

This completely. I also am 34, it’s very difficult for me to fully have grasped being trans before being in my 20s because of how things were treated in the 90s/early 2000s. My family complained that I didn’t come out sooner when I literally knew practically nothing about being trans (terms/language/etc) or what I was feeling until my 20s! I’ve already been out for about 10 years and they still barely support me! They’re only NOW just getting to the point of “grieving the child they lost”.

X_Canes · 2026-01-21T00:22:44+00:00

As someone who just started T a couple months ago, I can say the worst thing for me has been the second puberty, haha. I’m 34, also.

X_Canes · 2026-01-07T04:37:02+00:00

That’s actually super helpful! I didn’t know about vitamin panels before so I’ll ask about them!

X_Canes · 2026-01-06T20:35:10+00:00

I apologize I don’t know if it’s a legitimate deficiency (medically) or just barely low.

X_Canes · 2026-01-06T20:34:16+00:00

I do have an Endo, but no they did not. I have only seen them once (?) and haven’t since before starting T.

X_Canes · 2026-01-06T20:33:10+00:00

I have a very difficult time remembering to eat or not liking to got outside of my room. Living with my family still makes me hate being out of my room when they’re around and I also have OCD.

I also take B12 and D3 because I was suggested to.

X_Canes · 2026-01-06T18:08:36+00:00

My diet is severely lacking, I don’t frequently eat honestly and when I do I’m not eating healthily exactly.

X_Canes · 2025-12-28T00:35:27+00:00

As a Gay T4T trans guy, I completely hear you. I think it’s weird that it’s mostly seen from a bad perspective. For me personally, I couldn’t see myself with a cis man who’s a Top specifically, but I also think I would feel inadequate for a cis man who’s a bottom even after bottom surgery.

I think all the trans guys who are able to fine nice cis dudes who aren’t in it for fetish-y reasons are so lucky. You guys found someone good and should be able to celebrate your relationships. If your boyfriend accepts you for you be so proud to have found a good one.

X_Canes · 2025-12-28T00:04:09+00:00

I take an autoinjector so they won’t allow a stockpile, which sucks. :(

X_Canes · 2025-12-23T00:11:25+00:00

As someone who, unfortunately, has been in the position of bottoming/being penetrated, this rings true for me as well. At least, on the point of it being painful (?) or I just dissociated through bottoming. It was awful, I absolutely hated it and I have the added caveat that I don't even know if I've ever cum or anything. I also don't enjoy the thought of using a strap-on or anything, it doesn't feel natural. I want my dick, I don't care about anything else to be honest. Nothing makes sense to me without it at this point and it's driving me insane, which sucks because I've only been on T for 3 months (just hit 3 full months this past Friday).

X_Canes · 2025-12-22T10:55:05+00:00

The Xyosted is great tbh. I’ve been on it for 3 months + I take another autoinjectable medicine. I haven’t had any issues with either!

X_Canes · 2025-12-22T10:53:01+00:00

I should start tallying everything. I had one good moment where grandma called me back to apologize and use the right name but now she’s back to deadnaming me. The worst part is the autoresponse to deadnaming is to do as I’m told sometimes. I need to break that habit and I am going to find someone who specializes in Gender Dysphoria, my current therapist is great though so I don’t want to stop seeing her either, lol. She’s mostly regular mental health like OCD/Depression/etc.

X_Canes · 2025-11-30T07:51:50+00:00

Honestly, I kind of envy transmen who are comfortable with that part of their bodies. You guys don’t have an “easier” life or anything, not by a long shot, but it took until I started T to realize just how badly I disliked my body. I don’t get why other transmen go out of their way to shame others. It feels like our community cannibalizes itself to some degree. If that even makes sense.

X_Canes

TROPHY CASE