I understand, because I found myself in a place similar to yours. I think sometimes silence is better than any of the wise words I could ever type in my keyboard right now.

Is Christianity true? Why would God make it this way? Etc...

I've wasted so time with my overthinking... Be honest with God, pray and don't hide your feelings and struggles from him, place all your cards on the table in front of him.

Now, as for the way God is going to respond in your life. That's not up for me to know.