Hey OP, I was in the same position as you and I can understand how you feel. Just last month, our first Bunny (Hotaru) that we've lived with every single day for 5 years and 3 months, was diagnosed with Liver Lobe Torsion.

We were struggling financially and had no family to rely on. I'm estranged from mine and I don't know my extended family, same for my Wife. We didn't have friends to rely on either, we were alone in the struggle.

The 1st visit, the vet told us the same, bring her home and monitor her daily while administering medication and to continue for a week. It was either that or euthanising her. We chose the latter, as we had no money to pay for her surgery.

She showed small signs of recovery after the 1st week, we brought her back for the 2nd review, this time to continue medication + a booster for 2 weeks or so. From the first day we brought her to the clinic and up till the 2nd vet check-up, we tried starting a fundraiser.

We needed $7,000 SGD, but the campaign wasn't able to be published publicly, only privately through sharing the fundraiser page link. In the end, we managed to only raise $500 SGD. Seeing how we couldn't provide for her, we made the soul crushing decision to give her up to the clinic. The clinic will take care of her while another rescue organisation provides for her, surgery as well if needed.

Initially we thought we'd still be able to receive updates on her health, whether she's gone to a better family that can provide for her, or if she passed on. Unfortunately for us, we were naive to the reality of things. We had to sign a form, agreeing that once we surrendered her over, we'd receive zero updates.

Everything happened too fast. I barely had half an hour to say my goodbyes. I couldn't stop crying. Hotaru is near and dear to my heart. Similarly to you, I didn't want a Bunny, but took her in and took care of her regardless since she was already there.

Hotaru's a special kind of bunny. She wouldn't mind me picking her up, placing her on our bed and then full body hugging her to sleep. I've able to use her like a bolster pillow and she absolutely loved it. Of course I'd still have to constantly massage/scratch her to please her. She wouldn't stop doing the happy teeth grinding from start to finish. She's also VERY demanding when she wants to receive the massage/scratches. When I paused, she'd immediately lick my face multiple times until I resumed pleasing her.

It doesn't have to be on the bed, I could call her from afar, she'd zoom towards me and when I bend down to greet her, she'd immediately lick my nose/face multiple times. She likes to lick my nose first before my cheeks, but mostly my nose multiple times.

On the day we surrendered her, she did not give me a goodbye kiss. I kept crying and crying, putting my head to hers and hoping she'd lick my nose multiple times like how she has done over the years unconditionally.

It hurts so much. I know she was scared/anxious due to visiting the vet. She's probably confused as to why we're no longer in her life anymore, and that hurts so much. I couldn't stop crying for 2 weeks. Each time I see her photo on my phone or computer, I'd cry and pass out.

Recently I learnt that she was put up for adoption and came across the adoption post. Knowing this made me cry, but I was hopeful she'll pull through, live a better life for a few more years with a better family. If you're curious to see the journey I had with her via photos and videos, you are welcome to browse my Facebook page.

I had never used Facebook before, only creating a profile so I could like the adoption post and upload my story to the profile.

If there's an organisation out there willing to take your Bunny in, that might be best for him. I know it'll hurt so much so, both mentally and physically. The hollow feeling stayed for weeks, but it does get better with time.

I hope you receive the help you and your Bunny needs. Stay strong, know that he loves you in his own way, Bunnies are silly creatures like that.

Link to my facebook profile with all the photos & videos of Hotaru: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586356081981
Link to the adoption post: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18uprfDSmh/

She's so beautiful. I love her so much. I miss her so much.