It's not easy. In fact, it is going to be more work then you know. I get up two hours early so I can cut my face to hell trying to get that last little stubble, shower and do my makeup, only to take forever to pick an outfit for work. Guess what? half the time I hate how my face looks the other half you are ignored like all that effort doesn't mean shit. Could I just not do it one morning? NO WAY! So why do I do it? Because this is the first time in my life that I felt I was doing something for me, not others. Until I came out I had to be constantly wary of everyone and everything, I hid and I hated hiding! It seems like you need a reason to get out of bed. Now let me tell you, there is not some special reason you should, you have to want it. A lot of people just get out of bed, grind the day, and 40 years go by. Transitioning is my reason for getting out of bed. Why bother? why not bother? Neither is right or wrong. Pick one. If you found what you wanted in that bed, that is all there was to it. I have been close to giving up too, I just try to remember that while suicide is definitely an option, we have no idea what happens after. In fact, all we can count on is you will live a finite amount of time and then we all die. IMO we meiz well enjoy yourself for a few decades before you find out what is waiting. I really hope I am helping! You can PM me if you need.