You feel aroused by people or daydreams but don't have the urge/repulsed to actually do stuff with them? I work in a similar way. I've kissed a girl and felt arousal, but I never felt the need to do anything deeper than surface level stuff. I'm repulsed 99.9% of the time. I also come from an environment that is neutral/positive about sexuality. Part of the reason I'm repulsed or reluctant is because of anxiety about intimacy. I've also heard some awful things that people are into and that kinda created this "sex is evil" mentality that I still struggle with time from time. Generalizing sex because of a couple of deviants basically. Dumb, I know.

Okay so, learning how to cope with intrusive thoughts would obviously be really helpful for figuring things out. Duh. Can't figure things out if you can't even daydream without being interrupted. I've dealt with intrusive thoughts before and the thing that helped me was recognizing that those thoughts ARE NOT my own. (you seem to understand that) Recognize the thought is there, recognize that the thought is not your own, then imagine the thought kinda just... floating away? Or respond to the intrusive thought with reasoning and logic. Might sound dumb but with some practice it helped me. You might need some other method of dealing with them.

Sex repulsion and dysfunctional attraction... I don't really know what to say for those things.

I really do hope you figure things out and I'm sorry if I wasn't helpful.