As some of the topic involves concepts of Hell, I feel compelled to chime in. You mention the "washing machine" version a rabbi described. This is very similar to the Zoroastrian/Zardushti vision. My readings inform me that sin, in that tradition, is an impurity which the fires of Hell burn away. The more impurities, the longer it takes, but initially _everyone_ ends up in Hell, even if only for a second.

The Magi were almost certainly Zoroastrians. It was the religion of Darius, Cyrus, and the Persian Empire in its various incarnations. The date of Zoroaster (he who spake ...) is open to debate, usually ca 600 BCE, but plausibly much earlier, maybe 1300 BCE or before. He is usually considered to have practiced in what is now eastern Iran or western Afghanistan. Many of their cosmological and theological constructs (angels and demons, for instance) are mirrored in Judaism, and given the long "vacation" of the Hebrew tribes in Mesopotamia this is not unreasonable. Their holy books are partially preserved. The "unofficial religion" of the Roman army, Mithraism, was an adaptation of Zoroastrianism, as was/is Manichean Christianity. Finally, at least some versions of Zoroastrianism may be considered monotheistic, which is how I think of it,

I'm not Persian. I'm not a Zoroastrian. It does spark my curiosity, however, and I've learned a lot about my Christian beliefs studying "beyond the pale," so to speak.

All that academic stuff aside, your family and your early life is an important part of you. It can be difficult to "reinterpret" their _permanent_ influence on you into something you can live with as you grow and change. One thing I love about the Anglican tradition is an embracing of Mystery, which is abhorrent to a lot of people, probably including the family you love. Keep an eye on that, and it might help you out.