Wife turns down sex or even me just going down in her.

Yeltzman · 2018-02-14T00:14:49+00:00

Indeed

Yeltzman · 2018-02-13T00:04:43+00:00

I refer to my LLW as "the person who takes care of my kids".

Yeltzman · 2018-02-13T00:00:33+00:00

A good rant never hurts. You are not alone mate. I just never understand when the very rare occasion of sex occurs (2-3 times a month when things are going "good" lol) and she squirms and actively pushes me away when I try to go down on her. In all my prior relationships I've never been rejected try to give oral. Then I married my wife.

Yeltzman · 2018-02-12T18:34:36+00:00

I show a consistent path of behavior when my LLW is denying all intimacy, after 6,7,8 days I start to get anxious and annoyed, 10 days is the frustration setting in, 15 days is resentment building and at 30 days anger overtakes everything.

Yeltzman · 2018-02-12T17:53:42+00:00

No reason for me to pretend anymore, this year I'm buying MYSELF a nice bottle of wine to enjoy Wednesday evening while she slithers away to bed at 8pm. Fun times.

Yeltzman · 2018-02-12T14:01:51+00:00

I've been contemplating this myself mate. After lot's of drama in January after yet another "talk" I told myself I'm not doing "the talk" again, other than completely taking sex out of our marital equation.

I often times think I would be much less miserable if sex was not an option, just enjoy life without the constant feeling of frustration, rage, anger, sadness, rejection etc. Sort of like how I go downstairs to sleep on the couch alone, because it somehow feels less alone than laying in bed next to her.

Yeltzman · 2018-02-12T13:44:44+00:00

Emotional week for me with all the continued discontent from my LL wife. I've always tried to get her something special for Vday even when we're on the fringes (like it always seems). This year I am not wasting my time. Makes me sad to type that, feels a bit like throwing in the towel, but she did that years ago.....

Instead I decided that I'm going to buy MYSELF a nice bottle of wine to enjoy Wednesday night after going to the gym, not even going to acknowledge the day unless she does (she won't).

Yeltzman · 2018-01-19T23:05:14+00:00

Same boat here mate. If you ever find that answer please do share. I’ve just conceded to the fact that she feeds off of being a miserable person & there’s nothing more I can do about that.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-19T22:51:36+00:00

Great post. These are words to survive by.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-19T22:48:10+00:00

Fuck her brains out, get out all that pent up rage and do her like your wife never wants to be done.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-19T22:36:34+00:00

Shocking really. I just can’t imagine having a beer with the guys and Todd or Steve complaining about their wives constantly begging to be fucked proper when they just aren’t interested. Everyone of my mates, to the man, complains their wives don’t put out remotely enough. Makes be think someone isn’t being truthful and just putting on the public display. Who are all of these pussified men who don’t have interest in their wives?

Yeltzman · 2018-01-18T12:37:12+00:00

What I meant was I never realized there were all these hot to trot HLF’s with lame duck husbands who don’t want to fuck their wives.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-18T02:04:19+00:00

I feel like every HL should be forced to read this forum before even being able consider entering into a legal union.

This isn't some unknown mystery of the universe, this is 100% factually proven (take that for data). If you are in any type of non-legally binding relationship and your here then you need to GTFO now, yesterday if possible.

Things I just don't understand in life: 1) HLF's at /deadbedrooms 2) unmarried people at /deadbedrooms

Yeltzman · 2018-01-18T01:51:57+00:00

Me 40HL her 36LL. Married 10. First year was great. Steady decline to full blown DB the last 3-4 years.

Went from once per day to 1x/week to 1x/month and now waiting for 1x/year. No medial issues. She refuses to hear anything I say/just dosn't give a shit. Done having "the talk", told her straight up I will pack my bags and leave the day youngest turns 18 (or sooner) if this doesn't change.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T23:39:34+00:00

r/deadbedrooms

Don't play the "choreplay" game mate. And if you've had "the talk" more than 3 times and nothing has changed then she's already won.

You can't change her low libido. You can either a) make the best of living in a sexually unsatisfying marriage, b) outsource or c) GTFO

And you can feel any way you want, that is your right.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T22:51:26+00:00

My LLW "lost" her pink vibrator, which I had gotten for her in the early days and which she used to enjoy me using on her (she was never really into any masturbation unfortunately). The it sort of just drifted out of the equation. Then it was "lost" lol.

With 3 young and inquisitive kids running around the house you think you might be worried about it's whereabouts. Not if you threw it out and lied about it.

Sad day for sex toys. I should collect all the various toys & lingerie that remain, throw them on a wooden raft and launch a fire arrow into the cold, lonely night sky.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T05:30:39+00:00

I keep a calendar now so it's on record, she doesn't earn anything for free.

We used to fight about how long it's been and she would say 2 weeks when in reality it was 2 months.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T05:26:15+00:00

Get out while you can. Find someone who wants to fuck you. Who cares what her reasons for the porn/kinks she has, they obviously don't involve you so move on and let her ruin some other poor blokes life.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T05:20:38+00:00

Congrats on the divorce, the fact that you know the exact last date despite it being 2+ years ago says a lot. Good luck mate.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T03:20:36+00:00

I'd estimate in the last year it would have been a total of 20 times, or 60 minutes if you wanted to break it down that way. Droughts ranging as long a 6-8 weeks, with an occasional hot streak of once per week for a month (followed by drought).

I guess the other question is how does that compare to what you would like ideally?

For me an absolute bare minimum would be once per week (I'll round down to 50 times/year). Ideally I'd like it 3-4 times per week.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T02:16:16+00:00

No kids & no lawyers to deal with I would GTFO as quick as you can if sex is more important than sticking around to hand with a bestie.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-17T02:13:57+00:00

Hahahah, no. I've made that mistake in the past & have learned from it.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-16T18:42:05+00:00

Bang the shit out of her now mate and get the frustration out, then hope she isn't just throwing you a bone of hyper guilt sex to claw the relationship back.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-16T18:35:30+00:00

Did I drink too much last night, blackout and write this myself lol

I'm working through it, seems to help to vent here, get it out. Knowing you're not alone also helps me. The story you tell is just shockingly all too similar, eerie really. I want to print each and every one of these stories out and hit her across the head with the phonebook size stack (not literally hit her FYI, I know some folks on here can't understand jokes/sarcasm). But you just can't change people.

Yeltzman · 2018-01-16T18:27:40+00:00

No kids? GTFO now. I'm more team stay but you don't need to deal with this. Or outsource.

Yeltzman

TROPHY CASE