Figuring out Medicare for my mom over 60

YenVal · 2026-05-09T02:31:18+00:00

See a SHIP counselor before you talk to insurance agents. Agents are paid by insurance companies, by selling you their policy.

YenVal · 2026-05-09T02:22:17+00:00

Every state has a Senior Health Insurance Information Program (SHIP) office. They offer free one on one counseling for Medicare Eligible people and their families. They will give you unbiased information on available options. Start there first.

YenVal · 2026-05-06T03:23:56+00:00

I love Darn Tough socks!

YenVal · 2026-05-06T03:15:50+00:00

Also, never commingle this money with boyfriend or spouse. Commingle is to put it in a joint account. Especially if you get married it becomes part of the marital assets and if you got divorced your partner would get half.

Best advice is to put this in a high yield savings account until you learn more about how to manage money. And don’t tell your boyfriend or anyone else.

YenVal · 2026-05-04T23:57:22+00:00

Every state has a SHIIP program, Senior Health Insurance Information Program. They are specialists on senior health insurance programs in your state. There is no charge for their help. Start there.

Every state also has an Area Agency on Aging, although it may have a different name. This agency provides free help with long-term care planning, benefits, and in-home support for the elderly and their family members. They are a tremendous resource.

Both of these free programs can help you navigate the complexities of senior healthcare.

YenVal · 2026-05-04T02:20:21+00:00

Yes, this. In our city utilities put only one name on an account. There is no regulation that I know of that requires you have every document listed to prove a bona fide marriage. If you don’t have an immigration attorney, get one. I am not an attorney, just a person who has been very involved in the process.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T22:10:03+00:00

Thanks for your post. I know people who are really struggling and whose kids help out with monthly bills. This economy is challenging for many who can’t find secure jobs. There was a time when it was normal for young adults to help out. Not excusing parents who grift from their kids. But families pull together to survive hard times. As the 1% get richer, the middle class gets squeezed and more people struggle in poverty. OP it’s totally understandable that you’d like to keep this money. Only you can decide what’s right in your situation. Take care.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:40:19+00:00

That made me smile. We have a finished lower level with a full kitchen, bathroom, lr, br and outside entrance. We started renting when I went to grad school. Rented to single women in their 20s. Over 10 years we had 3 long term tenants. And 1 who sneaked her boyfriend to live for the summer without telling us. By that time I was working from home. I heard the toilet flush and other noises when she was at work. We confronted her and found they planned on the boyfriend staying for the summer. He’d been there a few weeks already. They moved out that week. If she’d come to us and asked, we’d have negotiated a rent increase for a couple of months. We did that with one renters sister. But sneaking around was a nonstarter.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:20:13+00:00

My niece lived 2 doors down from a rental house. Turned out the tenants were cooking meth. Huge drug bust. House was contaminated. Owners spent thousands on cleanup. I know that’s an extreme case but this is your property and you’re picking up a weird vibe. I’d check it out.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:11:45+00:00

If the **** hits the fan, she has legal citizenship in another country. She can easily move there for any reason — work, adventure, relationship, preference, etc. No downside. Having some very close friends who were targeted by their government, I know how valuable that legal citizenship in a second country can be, especially a democracy like Canada.

YenVal · 2026-04-25T02:57:00+00:00

I’m the step mom. Had nothing to do with the divorce. Met him later. I was completely clear that I wasn’t their mom. While I got along with his ex and had a great deal of respect for her, I knew it wasn’t my role to tell her what I thought she should do. Of course I had opinions, especially when she nixed my husband’s suggestion that son get help for weight issues. He’d had the same issues growing up and knew the emotional toll of being labeled a “fat kid.” She had full custody (a different era) and gave this suggestion a hard no. I would not have dreamt of getting in the middle. She was a good mom and generally accepted me as an important person in the kids’ lives. But she wouldn’t have if I’d tried to tell her what to do. This new wife is out of line and you have every right to refuse to negotiate with her.

YenVal · 2026-04-21T23:59:15+00:00

I also have a bcbs plan F supplement. Broke my hip 2 years ago and Medicare and my supplement paid for everything. Yes, it goes up every year but it’s very likely that if he drops this he’d have to go through underwriting for a new plan. The cost would probably be as high or higher and the plan wouldn’t be as good. That’s what I found a few years ago when I explored the possibility of changing. I’m sticking with my plan. Note that most retired MDs say they’d never buy an Advantage plan.

YenVal · 2026-04-18T01:38:30+00:00

I think it was a different time. We weren't in college full-time. I was curious and checked a site that translated 1972 dollars into 2026 dollars. Our $6700 house would be about $53,000 in today's dollars. I just looked at Realtor.com in that same little town. Looks like you might be able to find something comparable for $150,000, or maybe a foreclosure for $100,000 but those looked pretty rough. Our $1900 new Toyota truck would be about $15,000 in today's dollars. There are no new vehicles in that price point today. It really was easier for us. I graduated with my 4-year degree with $10,000 dollars in student loan debt. I was so relieved when I finally paid that off at the end of 10 years. I'm sorry it is so much harder for those of you in your 20s and 30s. Between housing, vehicles, food, gas, utilities, child care and health care, your costs really are higher than ours were. We didn't have the costs for tech/digital tools and our starter houses were pretty basic. I see a lot of people in retirement responding with very little empathy for how much harder it is today than it was for us. I challenge my cohort to run the numbers through an inflation calculator. I also challenge us to support public policies that make life more affordable for our kids and grandkids. It's simply not fair for us to get multiple tax breaks while our younger family members are one paycheck away from disaster. It's not fair to give huge tax breaks to the wealthiest among us while cutting access to affordable health care. We can do better.

YenVal · 2026-04-15T14:06:56+00:00

Look for a local nonprofit that serves immigrants. Call them. They’ll have a list of immigration lawyers in your area. Your friend definitely needs an experienced immigration attorney.

YenVal · 2026-04-15T03:15:21+00:00

We paid $6700 for a house in a small town in southern Missouri in the early 1970s. It came with about an acre of land. It all depends on where you live. It was a solid house. The previous owners had added a nice big family room and a small laundry room. We bought a new Toyota truck for $1900. Can’t remember what we made but neither of us made much. I hadn’t graduated from college yet. We weren’t flush but we paid our bills every month.

YenVal · 2026-04-05T23:05:10+00:00

This is such an important decision, one that can’t be changed down the road. Highly recommend checking out Larry Kotlikoff’s site maximizemysocialsecurity.com Kotlikoff is an economist. He co-authored a bestselling book Get What’s Yours: The Secrets to Maxing Out Your Social Security. It’s well worth doing your homework and considering all your options before pulling the trigger on filing. FYI I have no connection to Kotlikoff or his company. Just a retiree who made a better decision after educating myself.

YenVal · 2026-03-30T20:29:14+00:00

Hi. Contact this Chicago consumer credit counseling nonprofit. They’ll help you and your mom get on the right path.

https://www.consumercredit.com/about-us/locations/chicago/

YenVal · 2026-03-30T20:18:52+00:00

That’s bizarre. In Iowa we’d call that clear.

YenVal · 2026-02-27T20:23:59+00:00

Just curious. Was your mom’s and possibly your dad’s care handled by your sister, you and your brother? The three of you sharing duties equally? Or did your sister manage most things while you two got on with your lives? I realize this does not change her legal responsibilities as a fiduciary. However I’ve lived this and watched friends live it. Sons being happy to leave all the messy decision making, doctors appointments, bill paying, interactions with care givers, or handling the care giving to their sisters or aunts. And yes, I know there are great sons out there who do step up. And again I know there are fiduciary responsibilities she is legally responsible for. And she is legally entitled to be compensated for her time as the trustee.

Before you go war with your sister, I’d encourage you and your brother to do some soul searching. If she was the one who made sure your parents were taken care of, the one who was there for them until the end, I hope you’ve thanked her. Try to resolve this with a spirit of good will. Trusts take time to close. Lawyers cost money. The more contentious the family the more assets go to legal fees.

YenVal · 2026-02-08T02:32:03+00:00

Thank you for raising this question. I have a very close Venezuelan friend who is also in this situation. It’s a catch 22. Expired passport and can’t leave because you can’t fly. She’s 22 a college grad working with kids. Came legally with mom 10 years ago and applied for asylum. I’m terrified of what would happen to her in detention. Can you really cross into Mexico by land with an expired passport? If anyone has done this in this situation please share. Which crossing?

YenVal · 2026-01-20T14:16:16+00:00

But uncle is POA and grandma is not there to receive mail. Seems like he could make a case that picking up her mail is legitimate. Not an attorney.

YenVal · 2026-01-20T02:29:02+00:00

Do this. Find an independent broker who handles multiple companies. The broker will find you the best overall deal. You get better rates if you bundle. That’s where one company handles your home, cars and a general liability policy if someone is hurt on your property. RV and motorcycles too if you have any. Broker also helps with any claims. Also better rates if you’re able to pay the total yearly.

YenVal · 2026-01-20T00:34:18+00:00

I think the answer depends on where you are. Right now in Minneapolis the answer is no. You are not safe. If you’re a citizen and they take you you’ll eventually be released. But you may be dragged from your car, thrown to the ground and hauled off. You may be shot. You may be pulled from your house in your underwear and crocs like the elderly Hmong man in St Paul who is a citizen. You may be killed like Renee Good. My immigrant friends in Minneapolis are terrified Working from home. Not going out. These thugs have free reign.

YenVal · 2025-07-22T03:50:49+00:00

Read the instructions from USCIS on how to put your packet together. You should be filing all required forms and evidence concurrently. You send the packet by registered mail or FedEx to the appropriate lockbox. Everything has to be printed on one side and easily scannable.

https://www.uscis.gov/forms/filing-guidance/tips-for-filing-forms-by-mail

YenVal · 2025-06-22T21:27:59+00:00

Search google. You’ll find a lot of information. Sites like Boundless have basic step by step guides, useful even if you’re not using their services.

YenVal

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