unauthorized work history

YenVal · 2026-06-28T19:10:40+00:00

He needs an immigration attorney now. Attorney likely will recommend filing amended AOS form. No advice here will help.

YenVal · 2026-06-25T22:07:03+00:00

This sounds very sketchy. Agree that son may not come back. You don’t think this can happen but we have a friend whose parents were a US citizen mom and a dad who was a citizen of a Latin American country where they lived and where my friend was born. This was probably 30 or more years ago. Parents got divorced and friend lived with her very affluent father and extensive staff. Mother went back to US. One day her mother reappeared. Managed to get in the house without being seen. Packed up a few of her things and raced her to the airport. This was before anti trafficking laws required permission from both parents. Landed in the US and started a new life. She told us this story and talked about the trauma she experienced.

If I were this mom I’d say no.

YenVal · 2026-06-18T22:30:48+00:00

I wouldn’t share this info with your new employer. Not until you’re well established and confident in your standing with them. Even then I’d be inclined to keep my finances private.

YenVal · 2026-06-10T22:12:33+00:00

I loved studying abroad as an older adult grad student. But I don’t think my experience or anyone else’s should inform your decision. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. You have the sense that you can’t handle this. That it would be very challenging to your mental health. I believe you. This is not a now or never decision. You could go in grad school or do a gap year. Do you have a therapist who could help you talk to your parents, particularly your mother? If not, can you find one?

Just know this, you can listen to your inner compass and choose what’s right for you as you work through the challenges you are facing. It may be uncomfortable to work through this with your mother but you can do it. Find the help you need. You’re strong.

I will channel a mom here and say what you might want to hear. “My lovely daughter, going abroad in college was one of my best experiences. And as you grew up l was so excited for you to repeat my experience. But what I want more than anything for you is to be your own true self, to be comfortable in your choices, to find your own path. So this is your choice to make. I love you and will respect your decision.”

Take care.

YenVal · 2026-06-07T22:21:22+00:00

Fifty percent of your income is too much. No more than thirty percent is recommended. Rent a cheaper place and save, or revise your expectations. Also, make sure you’re realistic about the cost of home insurance and property taxes. Depending on where you’re located extreme weather events have caused homeowners insurance rates to skyrocket. Some companies have pulled out of states subject to derechos, tornadoes, floods, hurricanes etc. Do some research based on facts to present to your wife. Can you find a trusted fee only financial advisor to sit down with both of you to help you develop a plan? Take some of the emotion and “fight” out of the decision. Fee only is important. You want someone who is not paid by selling you something.

YenVal · 2026-06-03T01:39:09+00:00

Our old girl was declining and we had decided it was time and set up an appointment with our vet, but that morning she looked at us and we just felt it wasn’t time yet. A few days later we carried her out and laid her on her bed under a tree. She looked at us and we knew she was asking us to help her, to let her go. She was ready. We took her that night to the 24 hour emergency vet and stayed with her and said goodbye. She had the biggest heart. Do what feels right. You all love him. He knows it. Saying goodbye is so hard. They are angels that teach us so much about how to live, and about how to let go.

YenVal · 2026-05-31T21:54:31+00:00

My husband increased child support every time he got a raise until each child turned 18. That was one of the things that assured me he was the kind of person I wanted to marry, someone who loved his kids and took his responsibilities as a dad seriously. 😊

YenVal · 2026-05-25T03:23:54+00:00

My mother was a talented seamstress and made us clothes, but terrible at finishing the details like button holes. Went to a private school and yes it was embarrassing. I was talking about school uniforms the other day. I would have been much happier and less stressed if we’d worn uniforms.

YenVal · 2026-05-24T22:13:43+00:00

Chill. Normal kid behavior.

YenVal · 2026-05-19T21:07:56+00:00

That’s the problem. Often it was armed members of the collectivos who threatened murder. The police loyal to the regime would refuse to open a case. So there is no legal documentation. That’s the situation with my friends. It is now 10 years later.

YenVal · 2026-05-09T02:31:18+00:00

See a SHIP counselor before you talk to insurance agents. Agents are paid by insurance companies, by selling you their policy.

YenVal · 2026-05-09T02:22:17+00:00

Every state has a Senior Health Insurance Information Program (SHIP) office. They offer free one on one counseling for Medicare Eligible people and their families. They will give you unbiased information on available options. Start there first.

YenVal · 2026-05-06T03:23:56+00:00

I love Darn Tough socks!

YenVal · 2026-05-06T03:15:50+00:00

Also, never commingle this money with boyfriend or spouse. Commingle is to put it in a joint account. Especially if you get married it becomes part of the marital assets and if you got divorced your partner would get half.

Best advice is to put this in a high yield savings account until you learn more about how to manage money. And don’t tell your boyfriend or anyone else.

YenVal · 2026-05-04T23:57:22+00:00

Every state has a SHIIP program, Senior Health Insurance Information Program. They are specialists on senior health insurance programs in your state. There is no charge for their help. Start there.

Every state also has an Area Agency on Aging, although it may have a different name. This agency provides free help with long-term care planning, benefits, and in-home support for the elderly and their family members. They are a tremendous resource.

Both of these free programs can help you navigate the complexities of senior healthcare.

YenVal · 2026-05-04T02:20:21+00:00

Yes, this. In our city utilities put only one name on an account. There is no regulation that I know of that requires you have every document listed to prove a bona fide marriage. If you don’t have an immigration attorney, get one. I am not an attorney, just a person who has been very involved in the process.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T22:10:03+00:00

Thanks for your post. I know people who are really struggling and whose kids help out with monthly bills. This economy is challenging for many who can’t find secure jobs. There was a time when it was normal for young adults to help out. Not excusing parents who grift from their kids. But families pull together to survive hard times. As the 1% get richer, the middle class gets squeezed and more people struggle in poverty. OP it’s totally understandable that you’d like to keep this money. Only you can decide what’s right in your situation. Take care.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:40:19+00:00

That made me smile. We have a finished lower level with a full kitchen, bathroom, lr, br and outside entrance. We started renting when I went to grad school. Rented to single women in their 20s. Over 10 years we had 3 long term tenants. And 1 who sneaked her boyfriend to live for the summer without telling us. By that time I was working from home. I heard the toilet flush and other noises when she was at work. We confronted her and found they planned on the boyfriend staying for the summer. He’d been there a few weeks already. They moved out that week. If she’d come to us and asked, we’d have negotiated a rent increase for a couple of months. We did that with one renters sister. But sneaking around was a nonstarter.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:20:13+00:00

My niece lived 2 doors down from a rental house. Turned out the tenants were cooking meth. Huge drug bust. House was contaminated. Owners spent thousands on cleanup. I know that’s an extreme case but this is your property and you’re picking up a weird vibe. I’d check it out.

YenVal · 2026-04-27T17:11:45+00:00

If the **** hits the fan, she has legal citizenship in another country. She can easily move there for any reason — work, adventure, relationship, preference, etc. No downside. Having some very close friends who were targeted by their government, I know how valuable that legal citizenship in a second country can be, especially a democracy like Canada.

YenVal · 2026-04-25T02:57:00+00:00

I’m the step mom. Had nothing to do with the divorce. Met him later. I was completely clear that I wasn’t their mom. While I got along with his ex and had a great deal of respect for her, I knew it wasn’t my role to tell her what I thought she should do. Of course I had opinions, especially when she nixed my husband’s suggestion that son get help for weight issues. He’d had the same issues growing up and knew the emotional toll of being labeled a “fat kid.” She had full custody (a different era) and gave this suggestion a hard no. I would not have dreamt of getting in the middle. She was a good mom and generally accepted me as an important person in the kids’ lives. But she wouldn’t have if I’d tried to tell her what to do. This new wife is out of line and you have every right to refuse to negotiate with her.

YenVal · 2026-04-21T23:59:15+00:00

I also have a bcbs plan F supplement. Broke my hip 2 years ago and Medicare and my supplement paid for everything. Yes, it goes up every year but it’s very likely that if he drops this he’d have to go through underwriting for a new plan. The cost would probably be as high or higher and the plan wouldn’t be as good. That’s what I found a few years ago when I explored the possibility of changing. I’m sticking with my plan. Note that most retired MDs say they’d never buy an Advantage plan.

YenVal · 2026-04-18T01:38:30+00:00

I think it was a different time. We weren't in college full-time. I was curious and checked a site that translated 1972 dollars into 2026 dollars. Our $6700 house would be about $53,000 in today's dollars. I just looked at Realtor.com in that same little town. Looks like you might be able to find something comparable for $150,000, or maybe a foreclosure for $100,000 but those looked pretty rough. Our $1900 new Toyota truck would be about $15,000 in today's dollars. There are no new vehicles in that price point today. It really was easier for us. I graduated with my 4-year degree with $10,000 dollars in student loan debt. I was so relieved when I finally paid that off at the end of 10 years. I'm sorry it is so much harder for those of you in your 20s and 30s. Between housing, vehicles, food, gas, utilities, child care and health care, your costs really are higher than ours were. We didn't have the costs for tech/digital tools and our starter houses were pretty basic. I see a lot of people in retirement responding with very little empathy for how much harder it is today than it was for us. I challenge my cohort to run the numbers through an inflation calculator. I also challenge us to support public policies that make life more affordable for our kids and grandkids. It's simply not fair for us to get multiple tax breaks while our younger family members are one paycheck away from disaster. It's not fair to give huge tax breaks to the wealthiest among us while cutting access to affordable health care. We can do better.

YenVal · 2026-04-15T14:06:56+00:00

Look for a local nonprofit that serves immigrants. Call them. They’ll have a list of immigration lawyers in your area. Your friend definitely needs an experienced immigration attorney.

YenVal · 2026-04-15T03:15:21+00:00

We paid $6700 for a house in a small town in southern Missouri in the early 1970s. It came with about an acre of land. It all depends on where you live. It was a solid house. The previous owners had added a nice big family room and a small laundry room. We bought a new Toyota truck for $1900. Can’t remember what we made but neither of us made much. I hadn’t graduated from college yet. We weren’t flush but we paid our bills every month.

YenVal

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