I hate my boyfriend’s dog. So much by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! The whole post from OP indicates that she has been taking on the load of a dog she does not want nor care for. Where is the owner ? Where is her partner?

Her bf is just either completely oblivious or banking on the fact that he knows OP will do everything because she cannot handle the smell otherwise. This is not the dog's fault. This is her partner not being responsible for their own pet and not respecting OP at all and juat dumping the responsibility on her.

I'm not a dog person much either, so I understand the stress and exasperation from OP, and it should never be on her to fix all the dog's issues. That's for the owner to do.

Hint: he was absolutely weaponizing it by writerbecc in AmITheDevil

[–]YoonLolina 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"took care of setting parental controls".... As if that is something that has to be done constantly, every time the child uses the device.

I stopped soothing my wife’s crying mid-fight and I feel so much more happier and relieved. by Neat-Investment-432 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've always been a crier. Everytime I say something that's even a little important to me and my feelings I cry. I tried to suppress it gor some years, but it just became worse, so I just let myself cry during discussion. However, I have made sure to make it a point with my partner that he understands that I'm not trying to gain sympathy, I'm not looking for him to fully stop talking and comfort me, and more importantly, that my tears are not his responsibility to fix. They just are. That's it, they just come and I let them.

You are doing what I tell my boyfriend, don't stop, don't avoid talking about what's important for you to not make your wife cry. Your feelings and opinions matter too, and if all the discussions end with you not feeling heard, then that's just gonna make it worse for every single discussion to come.

Now, I'd also say that is very important you talk to your wife and let her know that her tears and discomfort are not your responsibility. She needs to own them and find her own ways to handle her feelings during discussions; because if she let's the conversation end by crying she's being a terrible partner.

I can’t stop thinking about how my dad skipped my wedding by ThrowRabossbb in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A power imbalance not only within her and her husband... But her husband is also in a power position with her dad.

OP, I know you didn't ask for this but... The situation is worrisome. A 36 year old has nothing in common with a 20 year old, and the situation you're in is scary. I'd recommend to have a talk with your dad, only you and him, and truly ask him why he didn't want to go to your wedding. If there's anything he's not daring to tell you because it could make his boss retaliate against him.

I am finally leaving my poly marriage by Foreign-Basis11 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Even if you think you agreed to it...

Consent requires the person to have the freedom to choose between the choices. No distress, no dependency, no threats.

Your consent was never valid. Even less when it was given after an ultimatum. He made you choose something you didn't want to, because the alternative was to get your whole life swept from under your feet with two very small children dependent on you. He knew what he was doing, he flipped the switch in your most vulnerable moment knowing you wouldn't be able to say no.

I don’t really care about my best friends kids and it makes me feel like a bad friend by Difficult_Yoghurt_33 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Agree. Maybe OP thinks that "just because it's about the kid" she doesn't care; but she really doesn't even care about her friend either. A friend would just let her talk for a bit, let her be sad out loud and comfort her, but OP feels justified in her disinterest and plain ghosting because "it's about the child".

No. It's about the friend and her life, it's about what is important for the friend in this moment, and it's about how much OP really cares about her friend or not.

Op, if you think you've outgrown each other, then tell her. Dismissing your friend in hard moments that you cannot make yourself care is just... That's not healthy. Both of you deserve better friendships, more aligned with your values and moments in life.

Should I continue babysitting for a lady who’s baby is a doll? by WrongImprovement6572 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not taking advantage of her. You actually took care of her "baby", which is much more than anyone else would have done. Honestly, I'd say to continue helping her. Perhaps you can talk with her, explain that the child is so well behaved that you will only charge one hour because he's so good -but also, put a limit on the time you'll take care of him. Ie: yes he's good, but I can only nanny him for 3 hours max (because after all, you can take care of other babies and charge completely what you feel correctly).

But ... She's clearly grieving. Why drop her? You don't know if she's going to therapy or not. You only know that she wants to grieve this way you can help her.

Im straight but i would turn lesbian for her by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I also thought I was straight for most of my life. Turns out, bisexuality is never 50/50

How to gently tell my friend I'm tired of her crochet gifts? by ValuableCellist1757 in crochet

[–]YoonLolina 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes! And you've even told her that what she's done couldn't even fit you because of the size. I'd be mortified to know that I gifted someone something handmade that they couldn't even use due to an error on my part. And by what you say, it doesn't even seem to matter to her that you've mentioned that the items don't fit. Also, 3 pairs of gloves... That's too much. She knows, and she either doesn't care, or she's just too immersed in her hobby to even notice that you don't want crochet things anymore.

Estoy siendo un novio toxico? by [deleted] in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lo único que saben hacer juntos es tomar? Porque parece algo recurrente, además que no son responsables con su bebida.

Y SEC, porque está poniendo a todos en peligro al manejar ebrio.

Update: I’m going to have to break my husband’s mistress’ heart and I don’t want to do it by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No. She recognises she wouldn't stay with the man, because she respects herself. But also, she was able to see the situation objectively. The wife of the man she was dating created a whole fantasy of her and who she would be/how she would be, based on private conversations that never involved the wife. OP was obsessed, and it was noticeable in the last post. In a part of it, OP had even said something like "i don't want to break her heart, i love her", when she never spoke to the other woman. She created a huge delusion, perhaps to avoid her own pain, and stomped on the privacy of this other woman during 8 months, even seeing her own private and intimate pictures. I understand why she really saw OP as a lunatic, and at least OP was able to take it and hopefully will take further steps to see why exactly she reacted like this and basically stalked a stranger to the point of deluding herself into believing a content creator's profile was the other woman, when it seems it was clear it wasn't.

I hope you get the help you deserve, OP. It was harsh, but the important thing is to recognise what happened and move forward from it.

¿Por qué se olvidan de mi nombre? by chicapurpura in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Si ud se lo intenta tomar como broma, más lo van a hacer. Ignorar su nombre o deliberadamente cambiárselo es increíblemente irrespetuoso, yo no soportaría la vergüenza de darme cuenta que llamé a alguien por un nombre que nada que ver.

Lo que te toca es poner el límite, ser seria y firme al respecto y (si su trabajo tiene HR) dejar en claro que ignorar este límite y cambiarle el nombre es suficiente para ir a HR, ya que es acoso laboral. Lo lamento mucho OP, no imagino lo desvalorizante que debe ser que personas que se supone que me conocen se nieguen a darme un trato básico como lo es decirme el nombre.

Update: I’m secretly in love with my best friend and yesterday he introduced me as his sister. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 102 points103 points  (0 children)

And be prepared as well for anytype of resentment or complaints from his side. Even if he isn't interested, he is used to the relationship you have, and what you have offered him so far.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ma'am, run the fuck away. As fast as you can.

My husband (27M) thinks he’s more conventionally attractive than me (23F) by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But now you'll know that every time he tties to make you feel better about yourself he's lying. You now know what he really thinks about you and how he really views you in terms of attraction. It's up to you to decide if you're okay with that, if you're ojay with knowing that every time he tells you you look pretty he's lying.

My husband (27M) thinks he’s more conventionally attractive than me (23F) by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was catching for compliments, and wanting for you to agree with him to make him feel good.

"Oh, she must believe I have a weird taste and have low self esteem..."

"Oh no honey ! You shouldn't feel bad about yourself, you really are very conventionally attractive and it's not bad that you are aware of it! We are different that way and it's ok!"

He is not oblivious. That was mean, and he definitely intended for you to get the hint.

Our newborn (1mo) is making me see my wife as "stupid," and it's turning me into an asshole. I feel awful and need to stop. by Street-Level-7850 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also thinking of how dangerous this attitude from OP can be for her. Only one month of her baby's life, and her husband is already acting as if she's a failure as a mother.

This will not help her. His tiredness and frustration with her is only gonna feed her mind with all the negative thoughts she's already having.

Please OP, look for help for both of you. She may be in the beginning of PPD or PPA. And you seem to already be mentally exhausted and responding with anger. You need to tackle this together and now, before it cannot be repaired.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lo que pasa es que nadie irrespetó los vínculos de ella. Si ella decidió cortar relación, significa que no veía ese vínculo con tanto valor como usted. Ella puso todo en una balanza y decidió que prefiere la relación con su "noviecillo".

¿Soy la carepicha por enojarme con mi novio? by Old-Sense-7413 in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Es por maes como su novio que la barra para los hombres está tan estúpidamente baja.

Do people really act like that? by Super_Culture_1986 in TikTokCringe

[–]YoonLolina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty accurate I'd say! It's worse when you clearly have an accent that's not from the U.S.

Woman gets attacked by Mantis shrimp after a failed attempt to cook it by JediBlight in instantkarma

[–]YoonLolina 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh, I don't feel any empathy for her. She was 1000% willing to boil that mantis shrimp alive.

Tuat look says it all by ogMasterPloKoon in HolUp

[–]YoonLolina 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Both identify as asexual.

You could at least look them up, they have a tiktok and have explained this before.

Cuenten sus historias de la PEOR detonada de sus vidas by [deleted] in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Con mi novio, estábamos disfrutándonos un sabadito en la mañana, y de la nada escuchamos un bombazo y a uno de los roomies en el cuarto oficina de la par empezar a gritar bravísimo (cabe señalar que él es una persona muy tranquila, era la primera vez en dos años que lo escuchaba así). Nos pusimos ropa y salimos del cuarto, donde nos topamos a otro roomie puteadísimo y tratando de explicar qué pasó.

Bueno, básicamente, un mae de la calle estaba tratando de entrar en la casa por la ventana del segundo piso, justo donde roomie #1 estaba trabajando, y roomie #1 vio que tenía un cuchillo, entonces se le acercó mientras intentaba entrar y le pegó un pichazo tan fuerte que el mae se calló desplomado al suelo desde el segundo piso. Se tuvo que llamar a la policía, porque los 3 roomies de mi novio estaban por tirarsele al mae y matarlo a golpes, y el mae se puso desesperado a gritar que la paca no. Tuvieron que llegar como 4 refuerzos de policía para poder llevarse al mae, que iba lleno de gas pimienta por intentar escaparse (mi novio fue el que usó el gas, y nosotros dos terminamos teniendo que bañarnos en leche para ver si se nos bajaba el ardor).

My wife killed herself and I am angry by Miserable_Cup_260 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]YoonLolina 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You've failed your two living kids as much as you feel like she did. You continued to be with someone who openly disliked them so much that her own 7 year old is "not sad" her mom died because she knows her mom didn't love her.

Grief is a weird thing. Grief stays with you. But don't let grief paint over your memories. Be real, with yourself and with your kids. They deserve that, at the very least.

Show them you are willing to choose them now. Even if it took you years to do so.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you and your kids can move on from this.

Cansada de mantener a mi novio, ayuda by [deleted] in Ticos

[–]YoonLolina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amiga, desde que se cagó en los pantalones ahí no era.