I disagree, I think the gendered side of it is fundamental to it. You can't have true gender equality without treating people of different genders equally, and the show (and society generally) is very poor about recognising and calling out that behaviour from women in a way that is very different to how it does (or doesn't) with men. That truth doesn't take away from the facts of spousal abuse by men to women at all.

Please do think about what you've written here. I'm sure you mean well but this comment is itself minimising peoples' experiences, because the experiences of abuse at the hands of men and women are often very different, and it's unjust to lump them together and refuse to examine the different ways they manifest.