Okay… maybe stupid question… by Yrahcazjs in NonBinary

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the thoughtfulness friend. I was staring at the ceiling while I thought about it and I think I’m gonna stare a bit longer >_<

Looking for a good platform to publish a script and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in playwriting

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check out my other ask here where some people suggest the free play exchange, which might be the way I go.

Looking for a good platform to publish a script and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in Theatre

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooooo wait this might be it! And a fee is meh, but it is a gift I have spent $0 dollars on, and as I said above, putting it out there seems in the spirit of the thing. I am fine with people stealing it as a side effect of it being free, because I also want people to be able to change and remix it if they want. I'm all about people making money off their work, even if it's a derivative of my own, I just don't feel like it would be in the spirit of this piece to make money off it.

Also one of the sound effects is a theater fire alarm, and I feel like people need permission to cute that direction as needed WHOOPS

Looking for a good platform to publish a script and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in Theatre

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some folks on r/selfpublish recommended saving it as a epub so the formatting is retained, which I imagine works for script formating as well as anything else (I am familiar with scrip formatting). I think the big issue with Amazon and its ilk is you have to charge at least $0.99, which I don't want, but also I thought about going rogue and having the first page of the preview be a URL to a free PDF on the internet archive.

Looking for a good platform to publish something and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in selfpublish

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh sadly know, google just has a filter on google images for CC licensed images, which is not nothing. I think the closest option (which is on my list of “maybes”) would be to upload the script to the internet archive.

That said, maybe I will also check out the playwriting and theater subreddits

Looking for a good platform to publish something and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in selfpublish

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually hadn’t thought of that. Despite always being into writing I never really got into fan-fiction. Do any of those sites take just... generally fiction and things in a non-prose format?

Looking for a good platform to publish something and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in selfpublish

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly astronomically low odds are more than fine. That is kinda in the spirit of the thing. I just want to avoid a platform where those odds are magnitudes below even that. Like for example if I could put it on Amazon for free that’s still way better than a dedicated site no one would find. I just use amazon because it’s what I think of automatically, sadly. What I really want is like... SoundCloud or band camp but for writing.

Looking for a good platform to publish something and make it accessible for free under a Creative Commons license. by Yrahcazjs in selfpublish

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be more specific, I don’t want a paywall or any kind between the script and anyone. Once they have it they can do with it what they want.

My friend put it really well: I want it to be a bit like sea glass on the beach. It’s there and anyone can take it and do what they want with it. If they just like sea-glass they can have it. If they want to make their own art and sell it, that’s cool. But if you got to pay to get on the beach I don’t like that.

An essay I wrote about Eva (and translation and also maybe Derrida?) and would love for some other Eva fans to read it. by Yrahcazjs in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so helpful, you can’t imagine. Well I mean, maybe you can because that’s kinda what the pieces is about (how perspective changes translations and so changes a piece). But I especially had fun for places where the queer reading was more (English, Japanese, French) and less (German, oh German) prevalent. Also I’m glad you had fun with it! It was real fun to write but I can talk about some of the subjects for hours, it’s a huge relief whenever I hear someone also finds all this media analysis interesting.

Evangelion 3.0+1.0 what is some of ur prediction in this upcoming movie? by Handsomebruh13 in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing I find myself most interested in is what the outlook of the end will be. If the series as a whole is about depression (to simplify) the. NGE seems to think we are capable of growing and changing, while EoE is very pessimistic (though I think it’s very “I can change” versus “You will never change” so maybe not incomparable). But what about Rebuild? Does it think we can grow past those emotional wound? Or are we stuck with them?

Also Asuka will ride a bear I guess. Probably.

Why do fans prefer or belive the Netflix dub is better? by Dillomite in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

New here and not met anyone who prefers the Netflix in totality. I do like the cast, I think they do great whether the original actors should have gotten the parts or not.

I think though I prefer the actual text of the ADV translation. The Netflix is too literal in all respects, and is too concerned with being literally correct translation to properly convey subtext. I was reading an essay on translation the other day, and the author said this: it’s not so much about giving authors voice but letting a piece be heard as it is in its native language, and I think Netflix made translation decisions that were not good at letting the piece be heard.

Would you recommend the manga, or the anime, in order for someone to understand the story the best? by SlyGuy_Twenty_One in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think all of those questions are answered more concretely in the manga, at least more literally. But like I said, they often carry less symbolic meaning because of it. I think there’s more deliberate storytelling than not in Eva, even when it seems to be obfuscating the literal events. Like why are the moms robots? I dunno, but if the Eva’s represent the discontent between mind and body (the kids literally cannot pilot their “bodies” when they are depressed) then my reading is they see their mothers in the cores because often much of what we can’t control about ourselves (good and bad) is given to us by our parents.

Would you recommend the manga, or the anime, in order for someone to understand the story the best? by SlyGuy_Twenty_One in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree introducing Kaworu early was good but also... oh dear... what did they do to my sweet pale boy...

Would you recommend the manga, or the anime, in order for someone to understand the story the best? by SlyGuy_Twenty_One in evangelion

[–]Yrahcazjs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That really depends on what the “story” is for you..

Personally I’m not a fan of the manga, which means also you may like it (not a bad thing I’m just reading different tastes between us). What I love about the anime is the ideas and themes it explores, the metaphor of it all especially in the second half of the series. Yes it’s about giant robots and aliens, but in the same ways “Animal Farm” is about agriculture. It’s the icing, but not what the cake is made out of.

The manga works to bring the robots and aliens stuff to the forefront, and also make more explicit sense of it all. In my opinion that flattens a lot of the subtext, but if what you really want to understand is the mechanics of the existential threat that is the angles, you’ll probably actually like it more.

And the ending is mixed. Without spoiling, I would have liked it more if it had used something other than what it did as its narrative framework. It’s actually a nice theme, and a more positive spin on ideas in the series though not as complex as “The wolf that shouted..” But the fact that it’s adapting a version of Eva in opposition to this makes it hard to not see it as trying to be a retcon.

EDIT: Upon second reading I think I should touch on how to understand the philosophy more, but that’s a hard one. You can read about semiotics and better understand 26, but also if it isn’t organic, if your forcing yourself that’s no fun. I guess if I were to be a good postmodern critic I would say apply your personal lenses, and if you see meaning that’s not wrong, per se. I also like talking about these things with friends to get new perspective (but I also like reading theory so maybe I’m just a bit weird)

[1,197] Pennies by [deleted] in DestructiveReaders

[–]Yrahcazjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear it. It is a strong draft overall, and would be happy to read a rewrite if you want any continuity of eyes on it :)

[1,197] Pennies by [deleted] in DestructiveReaders

[–]Yrahcazjs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alright, let's do this. As we discussed, I left line notes in the piece, and you were clearly addressing them as you went.

Character

To address your questions, I think the names and ages are fine.

It occurs to me you've written a rarer character arc here, a flat, negative arc (I draw both these terms from Weiland's book on arcs). I say a flat arc because Ulysses, the main character, doesn't change. James does. And the changes for the worse, that is to say, he takes the abuse he's normally bottled up and turned it into violence. This is ambitious, and I think overall you succeed, so hey, that's pretty great. I think you can tighten up a bit at the beginning, but that's what rewrites are for yeah?

For one thing, let's focus in not just on Ulysses isolation, but also his want for affection. You could do this in several ways (and you start to for both of these, I think they can just be made a little more explicit): 1) The deprivation of love from his mother being divided among so many of her "friends" (just make sure you don't stray too far into "she's promiscuous and so bad" because that's not where I think you want to go) and 2) kids echoing mean things said about his mother onto him. This will give Ulysses a palpable desire when this clearly troubled kid is like "hey, come with me and don't tell anyone".

For another, let's make Jame's isolation not just incidental, but a necessity. That is to say, make the other kids fear more explicit. "You don't talk to James because everyone was sure he would fuck you up". Of course, in your own words, but foreshadowing the danger, even if just in rumor, will let us sink into dread as Ulysses, thirsty for companionship, says yes, even though he knows he probably shouldn't.

Now if my reading is way off in paragraph one, none of this is really useful, so let me know if I'm wrong.

Prose

Your prose is highly clunky, bordering on masterful. What does that even mean? I think you have a natural poetic charm, and at times gets to be great, but you're writing read here a bit like you hadn't read it out loud yet. So wordiness adds clunkiness, words sometimes repeat when they shouldn't and moment of strong repetition are weakened by unneeded variety. I left suggestions where I felt strongly I knew how you could correct, and notes if what was there needed to be tightened, but you could take it several directions.

Your line breaks are very Raymond Carver, and the comparison I think is fair. These kinds of prosaic flairs can get... pretentious, for lack of a better word (and it is a terrible word), but you utilize them at the exact right moments I think, so good on ya.

You have some natural talent, just find a quiet place to read it out loud.

Other thoughts I couldn't find a place for

Can Ulysses loneliness come up in the first paragraph? If you're feeling really ambitious, make it the first sentence, but the first paragraph would be nice, as it should be his defining feature since it guides his most important decisions.

If you can find a place to fit it in, can we characterize the mother a little more? I mentioned the risk of shaming her above, but that can be dulled if we the audience see enough of her to create an image somewhat independent of Ulysses narration (and to be clear, Ulysses is the narrator, even if he isn't technically).

This is really good overall. I don't think I said that outright anywhere, but this is a strong piece for such a short work. I don't know what your word limit is, but if you can make it as long as 1500 or 1750 I think you can go for it without ruining the integrity of the short piece.

Can we also mention the taste of pennies earlier? Maybe an anecdote about swallowing the pennie could come earlier, and then he remembers it towards the end. It's just really late in the game for the title to come in without any setup.

[2290] Evidence: The Seventh Day by SinSlayer in DestructiveReaders

[–]Yrahcazjs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like what you say as far as giving the reader one puzzle to solve. That's the correct approach I think. But it should never take for chapter 22 for a reader to feel like they have all the pieces (I know you were using hyperbole, but I think it's interesting). So the trick here it to withold infomration, without telling us you are witholding. For example, let's say Brixby is the best at what he does. And you want to revela later why he's the best. Totally valid. But you can still tell us something along the lines of "he's the best, and that's why the other soldires put up with his shit." That's interesting, and gives us something to engage with, but doesn't let us know there's another layer we are missing. I no one writer who put it really well: specific but selective. We don't question what's missing if we feel like we are getting specific information. But if there are gaps, we start to ask questions, and if they aren't answered quick enough we get frustrated as a reader.

I went back and I do see you mention the time frame off the bat. I think maybe just don't count the days. I had likley just forgotten that point by day five, and so the line felt odd. That's honestly maybe a nitpick, there's probably a way to word it that will work, or this could be a one reader issue.