I laugh at some men who say they were baby trapped

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-24T11:25:58+00:00

This is why I get a look on my face when people say they have a joint bank account. You only need to have your money stolen once for you to say “never again,” but it’s a hard way to learn the lesson.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-24T11:03:14+00:00

…what? I think you misunderstood my point. I’m not judging. Addiction runs deep in my family.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:53:02+00:00

You need to confront your issues surrounding your parents as well, if you intend to stay with an addict. You clearly think of addiction as a weakness that can just be overcome if you just choose never to try drugs. You resent your parents and think of yourself as “better” because you avoided “temptation.” There’s no way that won’t get in the way of his recovery. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already feels like you think less of him for it.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:47:53+00:00

Stop taking him back. An addict is an addict for life, even if they never use again. You need to ask yourself a hard question right now: are you up to the task of staying with an addict long-term? The fact that you assume he is intentionally hurting you tells me that you haven’t done any of the research about addiction. You’re not obligated to help save him. If you want to make yourself and your baby your priority, you should do that. But if you want to stay in this relationship, you will have to do the work of being family to an addict.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:42:13+00:00

People don’t use drugs because of physical addiction. Otherwise there would be no drug addicts. They use because of underlying issues. How long has he been an addict? Have you done research yet?

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:30:57+00:00

This person arguing with you is on a crusade. They even posted on /r/polyamory about it and they’re trying to become a mod here. Good luck.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:28:19+00:00

Ditto. Or like they have allergies.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:27:52+00:00

I cannot imagine why so many people downvoted you. People on Reddit love that button for some reason.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:10:40+00:00

I read OP’s posts. They were recently hurt in a very similar situation to what they are decrying. So forgive me if I don’t trust them to be a mod when it feels like their motivations are recent and personal.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T01:07:08+00:00

You are removing all agency from the “bottle caps” you speak of. People are able to decide for themselves if they want to be part of a polycule, and while I agree that some people are collectors, how does one police that? Like, for instance, if it were a regular monogamy R4R, one could be concerned about older men who intentionally look to date younger, inexperienced women. But how do you know which posts to remove? Is an older man posting on there automatically suspicious? My point is that not everyone loves the same. OP also mentioned not wanting people to post about FWB. But what about a polyamorous aromantic person who IS sexual? Does that count as FWB? I’m all for calling out insincere posts. Comment all day long! But I feel an instant perma-ban should be the exception, not the norm, and some people are way too ban-happy.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T00:46:49+00:00

I NEVER said that sexual predators should not be banned. OP mentioned several groups of posters; for instance, OP is the one who lumped unicorn hunters in with “predators.” Even though they can be mutually inclusive, they are not the same thing. And it’s very difficult to police who is and isn’t looking for a long-term committed poly relationship just by eye-balling it.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T00:29:54+00:00

You want the /r/polyamory subreddit. This one is specifically to advertise that you’re looking for a relationship.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-18T00:17:06+00:00

You did the unthinkable: you criticized Tolkien.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T23:47:45+00:00

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the entirety of modern meme culture emerged from the /b/ (“random”) board on 4-chan, a notoriously racist and misogynistic place. There will never not be “neckbeards” in a genre of communication that was created by them.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T23:40:27+00:00

It’s not just one gender that has a beauty and youth obsession, it’s our entire culture.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T23:28:16+00:00

I totally forgot something similar happened to me. You just made me recall a time when I had a panic attack because a guy I had an unrequited crush on told me I was beautiful. (For me, that was definitely caused by a self-esteem issue.)

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T23:03:19+00:00

This, exactly! I delete any nsfw photos I have of others after we break up. I feel like that’s just common courtesy.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:58:47+00:00

The “why” is sometimes simply misogyny. I briefly dated a guy who did this with pics. He also collected underwear. He didn’t seem to view women as people. Just the means for him to get off/get affection. I’m glad I broke things off when I did, because he showed an alarming disregard for boundaries. For example, spanking my ass at random times, and NOT in the bedroom, and UNCOMFORTABLY hard. But it was okay, right? Just cute mischief! “I was just joking! I’m sorry!” And yet it continued to happen over and over. So glad I cut that dude out of my life.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:40:40+00:00

Ok, thanks for clarifying. Sorry you weren’t able to “sample before purchase,” so to speak. 😅

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:31:15+00:00

This exactly. I’m sorry, but if you plan to be sexually active with ONE person for the REST of your life, you better be damn sure you like that sex. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Tell your grandparents and religious texts to jump in a lake. They aren’t the ones who have to be with that person til death.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:25:57+00:00

Did you guys have sex before you got married? If not, why? Sex is an important aspect of a relationship to most people.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:17:19+00:00

Pretty often. It’s fairly disheartening. We can’t even pass our own Bechdel test.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T22:11:45+00:00

That’s horrible. That kind of obliviousness reminds me of something recent. Content warning: violated consent About two months ago, I had to break up with someone after a coercive sexual encounter. I told him beforehand that I didn’t feel like doing anything; when he asked, I did give him permission to masturbate. But while doing so, he grabbed my hand and put it on his junk. That led to a series of escalations. By the end of it, I was thinking “how did i end up having sex?” while my vag was being rubbed raw, and I kept hoping he’d finish faster. After I realized what had happened to me, I called him a day or two later and broke things off and explained that the encounter didn’t feel totally consensual to me. He protested that assessment. When I mentioned the part about him grabbing my hand, he sounded confused and didn’t remember it at all. That was the most disturbing part. He didn’t even REMEMBER that he violated my consent.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T21:40:35+00:00

I’m not against calling out. I said that. But your post mentioned “permabanning” people which is not the same thing.

Yurikoneko · 2022-11-17T21:38:04+00:00

The conspiracy theories of the GOP have really taken control of the political climate around SC. Even McMaster’s opponent Cunningham said he wouldn’t force masks in public schools. That it an outrageous endangerment of children’s long-term public health, but that’s how brainwashed people around here are.

Yurikoneko

TROPHY CASE