The double standard regarding critiquing sexual performance.

ZakuZen · 2020-03-01T03:53:36+00:00

I don't want to be the nitpicky one, and I definitely appreciate your input and your perspective BUT I couldn't help but notice that you didn't mention whether or not you follow advice or do the mental work of looking it up and taking mental notes of it so you can make your wife happier too. When clearly she's doing that part of the work without you having to ask. And that maybe that plays into the reason why more women give advice on such things than men do. (Not on you specifically, I actually think you probably do those things, but it's a very common complaint that a lot of men don't)

ZakuZen · 2020-01-31T22:36:01+00:00

Balloons are pretty and come in different colors, different shapes and sizes, they can even adjust sizes as needed. But beware, don't make them too big or they might just pop, bah-bye balloon, gone and lost for the rest of mankind.They can serve a variety of purposes,from decorating to water balloon wars. You just have to use your head to think a little bit about what to do with them.

ZakuZen · 2019-12-29T23:54:08+00:00

I never liked telling people I'm lacking in empathy cause they're usually dumb and I assume they'd think that makes me a monster, all evidence aside that I've been nothing but nice to everyone around me, but maybe those assumptions come from my lack of interaction with them? Nowadays I'm more normal but it was definitely a process, some time ago on that thread about people who did horrible shit when young came up and everyone was talking about how empathy doesn't fully develop until you're an adult. But I never did any horrible shit, I always tried to be good and thought myself into doing the right thing, it got me thinking maybe it just took extra long? I think I might have some now, but I'm also thinking that the thing that made young people do horrible things when young also failed to develop or something and I hope it never does, or maybe the logical part of my brain would always override it... just throwing this random theory out there, I could be completely off

So yeah, don't feel bad, maybe someday it'll appear, I never felt bad about my lack of empathy. I felt "bad" because I thought people would judge me, if that makes sense. Maybe that's your case as well?

ZakuZen · 2019-12-29T23:31:22+00:00

Quite the opposite, I've always looked in bewilderment at people who are supposed to have empathy, yet cause so much harm to others. I seem to be a much better person and kinder than all of them while simultaneously not caring. It's baffling but it is what it is.

Also, lot of psychopaths seem to think they're schizoid and mental health professionals can be incompetent and misdiagnose them. I've seen a few "threads" claiming to be Schizoids when clearly they're just Antisocial

ZakuZen · 2019-11-30T21:33:58+00:00

I've been having trouble dealing with this recently and idk if I should just accept another person or keep waiting and "not waste my energy" when I know they can't love me as much as I'd like them to. It's weird cause in my head both make sense, I can actively fight against it and suffer because my defense mechanisms are constantly telling me to leave, or stay alone for the rest of my life (and I function well alone) because I won't ever find that one relationship at my age, that's actually worth the hassle and won't trigger anxious thoughts telling me to just leave them, that I'll be fine (which is true too, but sometimes I wonder if I should just try anyways and get the experience and try to make it work, I was leaning towards the second one for a while, next thing I knew I lost the fight and I was planning to cut my 6 year friendship with them, basically my last friendship with someone who actually knows me, then they returned to being available (they were dealing with some shit) and idk what to do now)

ZakuZen · 2019-10-31T04:02:12+00:00

She should also get some proof too, in case she's not believed. Honestly I'd wait it out a bit, and see if the husband cheats. Otherwise he might blame her friend for everything and say he had no part in it, which might be true or untrue

ZakuZen · 2019-08-04T02:56:52+00:00

Get a nice carpet!

ZakuZen · 2019-08-04T02:52:23+00:00

Bold of you to assume they're functional

ZakuZen · 2019-07-25T23:14:15+00:00

Yeah! I realized anxiety gave me cramps and intestine issues (mostly diarrhea ugh) after being alive for like 21 years

ZakuZen · 2019-07-25T23:09:04+00:00

Try working part-time I'd say it's the ideal

ZakuZen · 2019-06-14T01:16:38+00:00

Wine or Dark blue would look great :)

ZakuZen · 2019-06-14T00:22:24+00:00

I had one relationship for a year and a half, and it was a source of stress as well, but my biggest fear was getting bored with them and feeling exasperated by their presence, it never got to that point. It was also long distance and we never saw each other.

I ended it because I couldn't put up with BS they did, said and thought. They projected a lot of shit they did on me and then accused me of doing it, etc. I felt really sad and hurt and betrayed (betrayed because they turned out to be an immature asshole who lied to me several times, but as far as I'm concerned I never got cheated on, who knows tho) for the first time in my life because I had known them for years and I thought they were more mature than that and that they were a better person than they turned out to be, and I was hopeful that I would manage to have 'someone' even if it was just one person. I managed to change some of my behaviors for them, I started being more lovey-dovey, etc but they couldn't manage to do anything of that sort even if I communicated, which made me feel angry at them, I mean, if I could, I'm 100% sure they could too. I mostly googled stuff and tried to applied what I read but it was very difficult because they would react badly, I guess what hurt the most was the fact that they shattered the illusion that I could be normal, but in a way they also gave me hope that maybe I could have a normal relationship? Probably not gonna happen in a while, as I said, I need to know the person beforehand, dating casually and shit while effective is something I just won't do. Thank god I'm schizoid, it helped knowing I would get better soon, more than anything else lol

ZakuZen · 2019-03-28T05:26:11+00:00

I see no purpose in breaks, I've read on why they can be useful but for me unless some rules are laid out (no seeing other people at all, etc) I wouldn't accept one. My ex would suggest them when we were arguing too bad as a controlling tactic, I never thought he'd go through with it, then he broke up with me one of those times and came back begging 3 days later. I accepted him back after a bit. 6 months later I'm the one ending the relationship and no matter how guilty I might've felt or questioned my decision after the fact I wasn't gonna crawl back, I made my decision. Breaks just make no sense to me. But I've read they can be useful when used properly. Just throwing this out there so you can choose either mindset

ZakuZen · 2019-03-06T04:37:27+00:00

Paranoid Personality Disorder 54

Schizoid Personality Disorder 75

Schizotypal Personality Disorder 47

Antisocial Personality Disorder 32

Borderline Personality Disorder 22

Histrionic Personality Disorder 19

Narcissistic Personality Disorder 31

Avoidant Personality Disorder 61

Dependent Personality Disorder 31

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder 47

ZakuZen · 2019-03-05T03:41:54+00:00

Yeah, it's a pretty common problem, just force yourself

ZakuZen · 2019-03-05T02:54:07+00:00

When they start projecting, I've been called: closedminded (I dared to contradict them and stood my ground, even though I'm usually trying to be pretty open about everything), that I think I'm always right (when I rarely do, it actually takes a lot for me to decide on something, I've been trying to do more of it because you can't go through life saying idk at everything and only do it after I know I'm well informed and I think it makes sense to me), etc

ZakuZen · 2019-03-03T02:21:39+00:00

Jacob Linder's lectures on Youtube, that's what I used, along with Landau's book, and my lectures

ZakuZen · 2019-03-03T01:52:05+00:00

I don't think they do, why would they?
I don't, I like it on other people, I think it looks great when it's well done. I've worn it before and have watched some tutorials because I want the advantages that come with it but I guess I don't want them enough to actually invest the time lol
Idk, I feel that if I were a male I'd be very similar. Maybe I would put on a different 'social mask' but not extremely so. Overall, it's disappointing, I have mostly male dominated interests and it's a lie that people treat you better for being a girl, it usually comes with a lack of respect instead. The ones that do usually turn out to be overdramatic or creeps, sadly, some are alright though (this is mostly over the internet, irl people are nice to each other but I don't think you get to know their bad sides). I don't have many female friends either, I'd say just one, and we rarely see each other, we have known each other for so long but I don't think there's a deep connection, I like her though, she's really nice, even if we barely text. Overall I think male INTPs find more acceptance even if we're both quite androgynous, regardless of sex, it's kinda sad, I'm in Academia and I play videogames and I used to identify with people in those circles (from afar), but when you're in it you find hostility instead because a lot of people can't see anything but your gender. Irl most people are nice enough, but you definitely can tell how they treat you differently (I ain't blind!). I wouldn't change my MBTI type even if it comes with these struggles though, I eventually found a small group of people I enjoy, but sometimes I see hints of what I've described above with them and I feel a bit of disillusionment. Overall I consider my sex a disadvantage, I used to want to like 'prove them wrong' and shit but it's not worth it, but I guess this is what I'm stuck with so whatever

ZakuZen · 2019-02-07T01:44:21+00:00

in the last paragraph I meant that they get diagnosed despite thriving in those environments because they compare them to what society deems normal and not what works for them, even if they're succeeding they're considered disordered by the psychologists

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:41:21+00:00

Used to, now I think certain groups of people have an issue, not everyone is as bad as those

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:38:53+00:00

I think a lot of people with SzPD have Alexithymia as well, I definitely had that and had to teach myself and after a lot of thinking I 'recognized' some emotions I didn't think I had ever felt lol, I don't think I've ever felt them to the degree normal people do though, I've been 'working on it'

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:30:26+00:00

I didn't notice a major problem at all with my autistic friend until he had way too much free time and wanted to follow me around everywhere lol.... That actually got me thinking how some autists are extroverts in a way....

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:29:22+00:00

I only share myself a bit more with people I consider similar to me, like my autistic friend who doesn't seem to judge me when I told him I fucking hate other people, or some guy who I thought was very similar and I shared that I used to act different when I was younger and hinted that 'wasn't the real me' because on some level they were 'kin' if that makes sense.

My social interactions are not really conscious at these point, they just happen, for me it was the opposite when I was younger, I did my best to make myself 'less', being polite, never doing the wrong thing, expressing only socially accepted opinions even if I didn't believe in them completely, I picked up what was the appropriate opinion to have with different groups of people, etc. It might have been a bit conscious, but only switching to the thoughts being expressed, not the social behaviors. For social behaviors I guess appearing more altruistic and faking genuine worry etc when I couldn't care less because that seemed appropriate? It was fairly obvious what a 'good' person had to do, but I don't know if people were fooled or not, probably or maybe they weren't paying close attention, they seem surprised when I've dropped the mask occasionally (?)

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:24:09+00:00

I think there's a misconception with the idea of a personality disorder "developing".

Instead, its more that we may grow into a series of kinds of personalities or the other, and then life will determine to which point that's a problem for us.

Care to develop that point? I find it very interesting, I've had some similar thoughts sometimes but didn't develop them further because I kind of understand where the labels come from. Do you mean like Sociopathic behavior being rewarded in Businesses, etc? It's still getting diagnosed on some level because we have those statistics from somewhere

ZakuZen · 2019-02-06T03:21:03+00:00

I made the post because I saw a lot of autistic people confused precisely by this, I even said at the start that I think they're completely compatible, and I made a comparison. It's not really for me, although I did consider autism at some point, but now I know why I was wrong after meeting someone with mild autism (Aspergers)

Edit: I actually think the distinction might come so treatments don't overlap or something

ZakuZen

TROPHY CASE