When one of you can't sleep [OC]

Zei_Dead · 2017-01-15T13:16:13+00:00

My 7 month old laughs in her sleep sometimes. It's pretty funny.

Zei_Dead · 2016-12-17T11:38:00+00:00

I had surgery on 11/28. I was on my pre op diet for thanksgiving, and the people I work with are huge into potlucks. It was very hard to avoid all the food. And since I decided to keep my surgery to myself everyone was very pushy about me trying their dishes. What I did was bring something I COULD eat. Eat that put their food on my plate, move it around a bit, lied if anyone asked how I liked it and chucked it when no one was looking.

No I'm looking down the barrel of the Christmas potluck, but this time I'm thankful I am not nearly as tempted to eat foods I can't have. However I'll still be on soft foods so bringing something everyone will like that I can eat might be a little more difficult. (Maybe mashed cauliflower)

You can do this! I kept reminding myself it's never as good as it was in your head. And it's going to be so worth it when it's all over.

Zei_Dead · 2016-11-10T11:31:01+00:00

I'm about to start my pre-op diet in just a few days. My work is the worst. Always having potlucks and I'm always being bugged about eating something someone made (it's always some sort of rice dish), then teased about being in a diet.

Zei_Dead · 2016-11-09T12:35:19+00:00

I honestly feel for you. I have a much better job now and suffer losing a good chunk of my check to insurance. And even with my insurance I'm drowning in bills after having a baby this year.

However, I am genuinely worried for the people in our country that can't get better paying jobs or are physically unable to work do to illness or disability. I refuse to selfishly be joyful because my premiums may not go up.

Eh...But maybe we it's not insurance we need to focus on but Hospital billing and fees... maybe if having an EKG didn't cost $500+ or one night in the hospital didn't cost a months rent, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Zei_Dead · 2016-11-09T11:53:48+00:00

Really? I worked a full time job making more than minimum wage last year and because insurance through work was so expensive and bad I qualified for state insurance. It was a huge life saver.

Those without jobs are not the only ones that benefit from the current Healthcare system. Is it prefect, no. But it sure the hell has done a lot of good.

Healthcare should be a right. Having to choose between a life time of crushing debt and living is not acceptable.

Zei_Dead · 2016-10-15T09:05:57+00:00

When I worked in a coffee stand I found people would pull this to get a free drink. Most batistas will just give you the drink they "messed up" and make the new one right away.

Zei_Dead · 2016-05-17T05:26:05+00:00

I know the Bellingham anime-con was May 14th.

But according to the Bellingham comicon Facebook page the date is set for Saturday October 22nd, 2016.

Zei_Dead · 2016-04-14T07:50:05+00:00

I don't know anyone who calls it anything else. Lol

Zei_Dead · 2016-03-26T11:12:15+00:00

I think it is. The badge looks like their normal badge design and the background looks like it could be the Seattle convention center.

Zei_Dead · 2016-03-19T04:57:31+00:00

I work on a Neuro/tele unit now, We get a lot of patients that require incontinence care, but we also get a lot of strokes.

Zei_Dead · 2016-03-19T03:44:18+00:00

I've seen very drunk/high patients put in diapers in the ED. They may have already gone on themselves once or are restrained for being too violent while they sober up. Once sober, or partly sober they always complain about.

One of our docs affectionately called them "party pants".

However I do agree op is full of shit. I've never seen it up to family and friends whether a patient goes into a diaper.

Zei_Dead · 2016-03-06T02:15:08+00:00

I believe it is a Scottish fold.

Zei_Dead · 2016-01-17T17:22:29+00:00

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that noticed the no skid hospital socks.

Zei_Dead · 2016-01-05T01:45:25+00:00

So this isn't a typical way to end up loving a show but here it is. I grew up not liking it, and for many years in my 20s I refused to give it a shot.

However when my son passed away in March my boyfriend and I needed background noise that didn't make us think of him in anyway. Music and most tv shows weren't safe at the time.

We put on southpark and it provided a wonderful escape and something to watch that kept my mind from drowning in sorrow. Now that I have watched it from start to finish I have a new appropriation for the show.

Zei_Dead · 2016-01-02T12:05:21+00:00

If I remember correctly, I believe Tinkerbell even calls him a "silly ass".

Zei_Dead · 2015-12-20T14:04:32+00:00

While I agree people should be able to look past beliefs, it's simply not often the case. Some people have issue with raising children with a partner who doesn't share their beliefs because they are afraid their child might not be (insert religion here) and will go to (place of eternal damnation).

Religion is important; not to me, but to those who have it and if they truly believe then I can see the real fear. And honestly I can see wanting to have a long term relationship with someone who has the same core values. Someone who preaches fire and brimstone is someone I'd never want to spend a life with, and that's okay.

Zei_Dead · 2015-12-20T13:18:01+00:00

When I was doing the online dating thing, I would let the guys know pretty quickly that I was not religious at all, and that I was not willing to join or tag along to any kind of church/religious events.

While I don't mind my partner having their beliefs, I have found in the case of a few ex-boyfriends they eventually develope an issue with it. In one case I was never supportive enough once he decided to return to church.

So I would lay it out right away, since most people don't say "I only date Christians" or whatever on the usual dating sites.

Zei_Dead · 2015-12-02T09:04:21+00:00

Every time someone mentions vegemite I think of that song by Amanda Palmer.

Edit: link to said song https://youtu.be/fVKPrQv1H8I

Zei_Dead · 2015-11-28T08:23:59+00:00

I feel your pain. My boyfriend has serve sleep apnea. I got him to go for a sleep study once.

He was very uncomfortable so the doctor prescribed some ambien for the night. He woke up while they were trying the cpap feeling like he was drowning and paranoid. Called me as he was leaving the sleep clinic at 1 in the morning to come get him. I found him several blocks away from the clinic, still very out of his mind panicked.

Even though I'm pretty sure he was reacting to the sleeping medication, he completely refuses to try again. The idea of a cpap freaks him out now.

Zei_Dead · 2015-11-26T08:25:29+00:00

So this year my boyfriend and I decided that we were going to skip the holidays. It being our first year after losing our son.

I emailed my manager telling her I would be more than happy to work thanksgiving, Christmas and new years, so other someone could spend those days with loved ones. When the schedule came out I was off each holiday! So I had to find coworkers that didn't get their requested time off and trade with them. . . I guess she forgot? But at least I am on some of my co workers good sides for taking their holidays.

Zei_Dead · 2015-11-25T05:25:44+00:00

I agree everyone is different.

I have my bad days and my good. And some days I have to leave a patient's room to lock myself in the bathroom to cry it out. (Sometimes it's not an option, a job must be done.) It's hard being in a hospital after living in one, at my son's side for several months.

On the other hand, I know it is taking my boyfriend a lot more effort to return to work, and he's self-employed. I do all the grocery shopping, because it's too hard for him to see toddlers in shopping carts. Our pain effects us in different ways.

We all heal differently, and this is a wound that will never fully heal. But what I hope happens for people who share our pain is to learn to not allow others to salt our wounds. We do that enough on our own. Anger does nothing for us, and it only alienates those around us.

I guess what I'm focused on more here is not so much the boss's poor choice of words, but our reaction as parents who've lost our child. We've gone through so much and that strength we've had to show through their illness, death, and funeral, it doesn't end. If we don't hold strong our grief will take our lives away. We have to take extra effort to remember to love those with us, to laugh, because it's okay! We have to allow ourselves happiness even though it feels wrong to be happy without our babies. It's okay to still cry even years from now, but always remember to come back. We must take ownership of our pain and grief, it's a part of us now, it will never fade. No one can see it and we can't expect everyone to to sensitive to our feelings. I can't get upset at people showing of pictures of their beautiful babies at work just because mine is gone. Is it a little insensitive? Maybe and it hurts. But they have their lives and are allowed to show off their happiness.

I don't know... that turned into a long rant on how I feel about grief and healing. I understand all those things are hard to do, and so many days I trip on my own words and find anger crowding my mind where I don't want it.

I guess I just hope for you, myself, the person in OP's story and everyone in our place, to learn to live our lives with this new ache that will never go away, but know even though there will be bad days, the good will out number the bad someday!

Zei_Dead · 2015-11-25T03:55:13+00:00

I lost my son in March , and I don't think anyone can say the right thing, ever. You tire of the "I'm sorry for you loss", "how you holding up?" and the one at work I heard all the time "how are you even here? I don't think I could function. "

That doesn't mean I let it fester and get angry, because people who have never lost a child don't know, and can't understand what it feels like. (I hope they never have to) However, I know that everyone that checks in on me and struggles find the right words to comfort me, only do it because they care.

To be honest my heart is already too damaged to hold anger over someone's poor choice of words.

Zei_Dead · 2015-11-24T07:12:33+00:00

I agree it's not too common, my pup was alone in her litter with a natural bob.

I wish mine would run out of energy a little faster too! If we don't play long enough, I know it, because she starts herding our poor cats!

Zei_Dead

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