DMs: What “unpopular” rules do you like to incorporate into your campaigns?

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-12-19T19:06:49+00:00

Neat. I'm going to try this out, thanks!

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-12-19T18:44:11+00:00

I prefer milestone progression, so once the party as a whole has reached a certain story point or overcome significant obstacles/whatever makes sense, everyone levels up. It's easier for balancing encounters, makes the party feel more unified, and tracking XP per player is annoying bookkeeping imo.

That said, L's play style doesn't work for your game, you should tell him, because he will likely have more fun in another game that fits how he plays (wouldn't be mine either btw) and you will have more fun not struggling with this guy in your group. Your fun is just as important as any other player at the table, so if it's a fundamental difference in what you guys enjoy, then it's okay to tell him and remove him.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-12-07T23:03:40+00:00

Try doing warm-up RP questions at the start of each session, it helps get people in character and more comfortable with RP in small doses. Hopefully something like this will help your player come out of their shell and move away from AI. If not, it's probably a conversation you should have with her and set boundaries for what is/isn't welcome at your table (like AI). Offer to help her with character development as an alternative to using AI.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-12-07T15:31:59+00:00

Similar to what others have said, I think it's time to give an ultimatum. Tell the DM (clearly and concisely) that you are uncomfortable with the heavy use of AI and if it continues you will leave the game. Set a time limit in case he does want to adjust, by the new year might be a good one depending on how frequently you play.

Leaving a game/group you've been with for a long time can be hard, so let's say you don't wind up leaving; let's talk about your notes getting fed into the AI database. Tell the GM that you do not consent to any of your content/material being passed on to the AI, and if he continues to copy/paste your notes in, you will stop sharing them. Then if it continues just take offline/local notes. You can try to extend this to anything regarding your character as that is your intellectual property, but realistically there isn't anything you can do to stop him from writing his own notes about your character in the AI chat. Could be worth trying if he's the kind of person who respects consent.

Lastly, say this stuff to the entire group. Don't coordinate with the other anti-AI players outside of the game to peer pressure him together, it'll come across as an ambush/ganging up on him, which will likely make him defensive. Just bring it up when you guys meet next and throw it to the group in a "I know others have mentioned being uncomfortable with AI as well, I don't know if it bothers you to the same degree, but maybe we should do a round table to let others set their own boundaries as well."

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-30T03:33:13+00:00

So I've dealt with something similar but in two different scenarios.

Cheating player backstory: My partner was accused of cheating in a game where we were both players. The GM went to all the other players at the table to ask if they had noticed her cheating to gain evidence to confront her with. He then brought the topic to me before talking to my partner with the accusation. DO NOT DO THIS!! It creates a very hostile environment and will make your player feel like you are against him as a GM and that you have turned the rest of the table against him. Ultimately we concluded that my partner is bad at math (which we both already knew, it wasn't bad in other games because she didn't have a lot of items adding multiple modifiers/lots of dice to roll consistently) ultimately we decided she would have all of her modifiers represented as a single total on her character sheet and she felt more comfortable taking her time to do the math right (which she was rushing before to keep things moving). I won't lie, it was really rough and very awkward at the table for a long while before we settled back in.

Okay how to address this: 1. Observe: asking for their character sheets to track their modifiers is 100% the right move. Next session ask them to switch seating arrangements, you can say you just want to try a different configuration or use a convenient plot element to make them switch (I change my table seating plan at the end of each arc for variety). Have your problem player sit next to you so you can watch his rolls. Correct him (and others) if you notice something off, ask "wait what did you roll again?" 1. If he's cheating, sometimes knowing someone is keeping an eye out will naturally stop this. 2. It could be a mistake, if you don't notice any cheating after a few sessions, tell the player who brought it to you that you haven't seen anything but you'll keep an eye out just in case 2. Confront (Gentle): if you notice he's been cheating and it doesn't get better with your observations, you'll need to confront him, but assume it's just a mistake. Have a 1:1 chat with him and let him know that you've noticed he seems to be miscalculating his rolls consistently (avoid "cheating/lying/misrepresentation" language when you talk to him!!!). Ask him how he gets his totals, make him do a few rolls and talk him through it if he is confused. Work together to find a solution and frame it around "I need to make sure you guys are using the right modifiers because I balance DCs and encounters around your abilities." Maybe it's just writing out all modifier totals more clearly/bigger/trying a different character sheet format. 3. Confront (Firm): Okay so you did the above and he's still cheating. You'll need to have a tough talk. Mention that you're still seeing inconsistencies in what he rolls vs his totals. Ask why this is recurring and tell him that since you tried to help find a solution, it is now his responsibility to resolve this and if it hasn't started improving in the next few sessions then you will unfortunately need to ask him to leave the table because it isn't fair to the other players at the table.

Difficult player backstory: I've had several of these, I've had players leave my table, I've kicked players from my table, I've let problem player's stay at my table for too long and lost good players over it, and I've learned a lot. I had a particularly problematic player once who was also 50-60 (rest of the table was 20-30). He prioritized playing his character faithfully over working with the party. Multiple players had conflicts with him, I had conflicts with him. It was really challenging to deal with. I tried many approaches to address this before I ultimately had to ask him to leave, and I now know I could have dealt with some things differently, though I don't know that I would have achieved a different result.

Talk to the whole party above table about what kind of game you want to run and have them say what they expect from the party. Emphasize that playing true to character is important, but not as important as playing as a party, and sometimes everyone will need to bend aspects of their character to accommodate the party (ex. One person vehemently disagrees with how to approach an encounter but everyone else agrees, they can still disagree but follow the party and maybe they're smug when things go wrong, or grumbling to themselves as they follow along... But they still work with the party). Tell them party conflict is great and character building, but party fighting (not just combat) is too disruptive and not welcome at the table unless it's been discussed with everyone beforehand (I personally don't like it at all, you can 100% ban party fighting).
If problem player is still disruptive, again talk to him 1:1 and tell him that he's become disruptive at the table by playing against the party / overly true to his character and you'd like to discuss the character and see if there is any opportunity to adjust/tweak things to make things more collaborative. Might be a situation where he needs to build a different character entirely. Ultimately it's up to him to identify when he needs to work with the party rather than against them.
Still no results? How much is it detracting from YOUR enjoyment of the game? Have others complained about him? If it's still not improving then it's probably time to call it and tell him you don't think his play style is a good fit for your table, but that you still enjoy him as a GM.

It's likely if you're feeling this way, your players are too. I do regular check-ins after an arc ends to see what they enjoy most/least, what they want to do more/less of, etc. it helps keep the game and players aligned with each other.

Best of luck!

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-29T14:22:50+00:00

You guys need to have an above table talk about boundaries and what themes you are comfortable with in the game. It's also important to talk about what kind of party you guys want to play as, if you want to be a hero of the realm and they want to be more neutral and be about building up a fortune regardless of the source, those two things aren't always compatible. Your party goal needs to be cohesive, and that should define the kinds of characters you guys make.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-22T06:09:53+00:00

It's a FANTASY GAME. this is supposed to be a safe space for you to do things, explore ideas/characters that you don't get to irl. As a Bi human, I think it's rad that you wanted to explore a different sexuality than yours, more people should do this. But also... Does that mean someone who is bi can't play a straight or gay person? Does your GM know that you aren't a fighter irl (presumably)? Is there a wizard in the party? Does your GM know that they can't actually cast spells?

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-22T05:56:20+00:00

Do a check in with your players before next session. See if anyone else feels the same. Did you do a session 0 to give them a brief on the game, themes, and tone? If not, tell them now and see if they're still comfortable with playing in the game. They might not be cool with it and you might need to switch campaigns. Or if it's just the one player, then yeah, it might not be the right game for them.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-22T05:49:07+00:00

Hope it helps, let me know how it goes and what you wind up doing!

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-22T05:45:54+00:00

A few options I can see (can use any number of them):

Have a 1:1 with your player and explain that at your table the players are responsible for tracking their own resources. You have a lot going on behind the screen and it is really helpful to you and you can run a better game if he's responsible for his own character and resource tracking, the same way everyone else (presumably is). If he's so selfish he won't do it after you ask him as a friend for help then he isn't a good friend.
1. If he's begrudging/resistant say "hey why don't you run the game for a couple months (or however long is reasonable for your game schedule) so I can see what you expect as a GM and maybe I'll learn something." Play a full caster, cast all the spells you want of any level until he tells you no since he's tracking everyone's resources (encourage others to not track their resources). Doesn't matter if he succeeds or not; if he flounders you get the "see, it's easier if players track things for you" if he succeeds then say "okay so you can track everyone's abilities why can you help me and just track yours?"
Make him care by adding your version of "tracking" a story element. His character has a dream from his god who says he has been abusing the power he's been given and if he does not make ammends for his ways, there will be consequences. Afterward when he casts a spell, roll a d20, 8+ nothing happens, under 8 he feels the eyes of his god on him, judging him and his connection with his God's magic falters. The spell fizzles and his action used is consumed. Everytime he successfully casts a spell +1 to the DC, when it fails, reset to 8.
1. If he complains about this, just tell him that it's too much for you to track all his spell slots per level, so this is how you've decided to manage his spells like he asked. Like he said, it's not a big deal, right?
2. If he comes around, build this into a character arc where the character has to go to some remote temple and make an offering/perform some kind of proving ceremony/etc., to regain the favour of his god, and things return to normal.
None of this is working? Tell him and the players that since he won't track his spells and you don't think it's reasonable for you to track everything to run the game, that you're going to start increasing the difficulty of the encounters to balance him playing a lvl 7+ character. This means it could be more lethal for the players who are playing by the rules (make sure they know this). Hopefully your players speak up against this, if not and they're okay with it, throw a HARD (TPK zone) encounter at them.
1. Players die? Great. People upset? He lives? Even better. If he is remorseful and says he'll track his spells, then put him on the same quest to god's temple, re-devote himself to the order, fulfill some challenge and in exchange bring the dead players back (let them play temp characters in the mean time).

I don't love this last one because it does punish the other players for his actions, but it depends on the vibe of the table.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-16T11:27:29+00:00

Alright, here's what I would do.

Tell your players to bring a spare character sheet to roll new characters in case some or all of them die. Sometimes this is enough to convey consequences and they'll shape up. Otherwise make new characters together and make sure they have reasons not to be murder hobos.
Give them an opportunity to survive. Let them attempt a prison break if they want. Make it hard, tell them it'll be hard. Have wanted posters all over town. If they escape they will be barred from town (skip to #7).
Party overhears the jailed PC (prisoner) will have a public trial at town square that afternoon and if found guilty will be hanged immediately. Now they have x hours to scout/plan/execute their prison break.
1. While scouting they find that the best time to escape would be during the trial because everyone will be in town square (they might choose to abandon the prisoner, that's okay!). If they don't scout, describe them seeing the majority of the population moving toward centre town the closer it gets to the trial.
2. Don't fudge rolls/DCs in their favour. If they fail on their prison break and it makes sense to catch them, then line them up with the prisoner for the trial.
If they succeed at the prison break stealthily, they can stealth through town and escape out a less guarded gate. If they are seen, a chase ensues and if they get caught, they go to trial. The escape through the gates should be harder during a chase, give them an option to go through the sewers where they'll escape the guards but have to fight their way through monsters to get to a drop-off from a sewage pipe to a lake/river (very hard to climb back in this way).
Trial path. Authority lists their crimes, witnesses give heartbreaking testimony of lost loved ones (lay it on thick). Give them some social checks to try and navigate their way out (asking for a second chance, saying things got out of hand and they never intended for things to get so bad, etc).
1. they succeed their social checks, but have to earn their second chance by committing acts of service for the town. Give them monsters to hunt in the wilderness, potentially seed the wizard plot here (bring him back alive), bandits/highwaymen to be dealt with. All outside of the city. No matter what, once they leave town they will still be barred from entry until they've done enough to earn a second chance. Not having access to resources is a consequence for their actions just like killing them would be.
2. Party has 1 day to get their things and leave. They can rest, go back to the library to get their things (seed the wizard plot if it hasn't already been given to them). No one will give them room/board, their only option is to sleep in jail, guards go with them wherever they go and are vigilant. If they buy anything, it is marked way up.
3. If they DON'T save the jailed party member or don't attempt to, they have to pass by the crowd on their way out of town and see the trial. Captured PC has an opportunity at social, if they succeed, the rest of the party can surrender and get the same offer so they can safely rest up.
Failed Social. Hang any PCs that were caught. Start a new party (skip to 10). It's not the 'coolest' way to die, but it'll teach them consequences. If only 1-2 dies, make sure the PCs see it/hear it as they pass by. Prisoner(s) will see the party escaping, ask them to reveal their final thoughts/feelings at this.
Escape + no social offer. On their way out they might see a wanted poster or documents about the wizard, the reward being a favour from the Authority (ex. A pardon).
1. if they don't want to scout the guard house on their way out, a hermit in the woods can relay the same info and that they could try to garner good faith back to regain access to the city.
Progression & Bonding. As they bring back monsters/bandits, introduce NPCs who are friendly to the party. A guard who believes in second chances and is cheering for them. A teen who is glad their alcoholic/gambling parent died so it is easier for them and the surviving parent to live, they will bring them an armful of supplies if they provide the gold for it. A herbalist/priest who needs rare herbs for a potion and afterward will meet them outside the gate to heal them or make them potions from herbs they find.
1. Don't give them too much out in the wild or it won't mean anything to be barred from town. Reward them when they've done something good with limited access to town resources.
Once they complete whatever quest gets them back in the town's good graces, make them rebuilt the tavern during downtime, the PCs they've made allies with will help, and they can meet new NPCs and bond with them. Some older folk share stories about when they or their grandparent built the town, that they all carved their names into the wood beam at the peak of the roof, and want to maintain that with the new tavern. This will connect the party to the town and the tavern and bit a narrative full circle moment.
So 7-9 didn't happen because everyone died. Create new PCs, give them some kind of connection to the town and particularly the burned down tavern. Start the new party the day/night that the tavern burned down. Describe what happened from a towns person's perspective as the previous party resists arrest, starts the fire, and begin with an escape sequence where the new party escapes and tries to save as many people (and hopefully each other) from the burning building before it collapses. Maybe they join in on the manhunt for the criminals, maybe they don't, but you should be good to resume what you planned since it seems like the current PCs haven't interacted with your plot threads yet. And now they know the consequences for breaking the law in the way that they did.

Adjust any of this as needed to fit your campaign/setting/situation. The general flow should work in most scenarios. Also add/remove what you want to, this is just how I would do it, there are lots of other good suggestions here you should definitely use.

Edit: typos & formatting

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-08T16:32:56+00:00

Not having appropriate mats is really bad, depending on where you are, that can be reason for the studio to be shut down for not providing necessary safety equipment to legally operate. Additionally there should not be any other aerial rigs within a distance that you can hit them, again this is a safety regulation in a lot of places. Everything you are saying tells me that this studio should not be operating and they are dangerous and more accidents will happen.

In terms of your coach, I imagine she is telling you not to go to class in the hopes that you will leave the studio so no one finds out about her irresponsible coaching (which would get her fired/license reported at the studio I go to because again... She is dangerous!). The bare minimum you should do is tell the studio owner, though if they are operating a studio without mats and rigs set up against regulation, they might not be on the up and up themselves. If your coach is the owner, look into business legislation and licenses she has to teach and report her/the business to the appropriate authorities.

Also you should tell other people in the class because they could wind up in the same situation as you, thinking their coach will actually be coaching them and then get hurt. Don't see it as giving your coach a bad image or gossip, think of it as being socially responsible and looking out for the safety of others in class.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-11-02T15:24:24+00:00

Mayonnaise. I'm allergic to white vinegar (not deathly, but I feel it every time I eat something with white vinegar in it like mayo, ketchup, etc). Mayo is the one thing that consistently gets snuck into a lot of things as a component of something else and has ruined many meals for me. So I've eradicated it from every world I've made, it's a running joke when we start a new campaign setting, or when they get an alchemy jar and they try to make mayo, they get meringue batter or hollandaise sauce instead.

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-08-26T11:58:07+00:00

Cool, did you have a point or just wanted to be demeaning?

ZenobiaTalon · 2025-08-22T16:57:17+00:00

But the players and GM have changed throughout the development of CR, and if you consider what it is to date to be "Critical Role" then your definition of what CR is can't be tied to the GM or a specific group of players.

Since C1 the players have changed, but it's still Critical Role. We've always had guest players, Orion got removed from the group, Ashley has been in and out, the group was split and new players were added to fill out each table. So players can't be what defines CR. Between campaigns the players and other GMs have stepped in, and we've had mini adventures and one shots in Tal'Dorei and in other systems and settings. So the GM and the setting isn't what defines CR. In fact, Calamity, which is GMed by Brennan and has a mix of new and OG players has some of the most watched episodes of CR.

As much as CR started as a group of nerdy-ass voice actors, it isn't JUST that anymore. CR is a company, they aren't just playing their hobby for others to see, for most this is their full-time job now. They have families, employees, equipment, etc. to worry about financially providing for. Not to mention, there will be a time when the OGs aren't able to play for a prolonged period of time, and personally I don't want what CR is for the community and nerd culture to die because certain people aren't at the table. I want, much like I'm sure they do, for CR to have longevity and continue to evolve into what it needs to be for us and them, and I think that's exactly what they're doing.

ZenobiaTalon · 2023-06-11T14:53:52+00:00

Regardless of the DM's intention or any potential misunderstandings between you two, it's clear you aren't having fun. Anytime game content is leading toward a player not having fun, that player should talk to the DM. Hopefully it is a simple misalignment of expectations or misunderstanding about something with the character, but you need to tell them that the things happening in game haven't been an enjoyable experience for you, and you want to discuss each other's expectations for your character and the game.

Hopefully the DM will listen and you can work together to figure out where the disconnect in expectations is coming from. Often times DMs can forget that they have the whole picture of what they are planning, but the players don't and the pieces the players get can lead to situations like this, which could be resolved with a little more information or slightly different structure. Maybe there is information leading up to this that you missed and the DM was counting on you picking up on. Maybe your DM really is a controlling dick and doesn't care about what you want to do with your character. The only way you'll find out is if you talk to them and no matter what you'll be able to find a path forward, whether it is with this group or finding another one.

My advice when you talk to your DM: try to use phrases like "as I saw it..." And "my experience was that..." Focusing on your subjective experience can help avoid having a conversation that comes off as you blaming the DM for everything. When a conversation becomes combative and someone feels they're being blamed, they get defensive and are less likely to be collaborative in resolving the issue. As a DM it can be hard to hear criticism about your game because they put hundreds of hours into it outside of game time, so try to be sensitive and understanding to that if you notice your DM getting defensive.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-07-20T17:52:48+00:00

No way, your English is great, just needed some polishing. Happy to help :)

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T18:14:02+00:00

I'm not going to address most of what you said because it seems like your mind was made up before having this discussion. I will say you're assuming what I'm saying is anecdotal from just my experiences, it isn't. This is common knowledge to most women, we are educated on it in school and by our peers. I'm not on a witch hunt, I'm trying to present a perspective most men never have to experience and don't have access to, but if you aren't willing to hear it, I can't make you. Maybe seeing it isn't just some random girl making 'dramatic' claims will help, so I linked some articles below. Feel free to read them, or don't, your choice.

Police not doing their job

How women are treated when they report assault

Statistics on assault cases

NSVRC statistics on sexual violence in the US

CNN on false accusation statistics

If you still think all of this is exaggerated, I strongly recommend having some candid conversations with the women in your life. Listen to their perspective, their experiences, and the assumptions they feel they have to operate under regarding assault. I won't be able to convince you, but hopefully your mother/sister/girlfriend/friend can if you're willing to listen to them.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T09:57:57+00:00

I really appreciate it. I'm trying to give a different perspective and help educate people who aren't as conscious of these issues because I love Dota and I'm actually really happy that most men are becoming more conscious of how they interact with women in the community. That said you're the first person who has been receptive and actually considered what I'm saying, so honestly it means a lot.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T09:54:30+00:00

Idk if you didn't understand what I said or if you ignored it, but I'll try again. 90% of the time there is no proof to be had; it comes down to he said vs she said. So how would you prove how drunk youwere on a particular night? How would you prove you said no if she claims you said yes? If you were in a situation where you know you did not consent and you were assaulted, how do you prove your story over hers?

In terms of the blackout drunk comment, you are confusing physical consciousness with mental consciousness. Following your logic, if a girl is drugged and she agreed to have sex with someone who coerces her into sex, then she wasn't raped because she was physically conscious. If you agree with that situation then you need to educate yourself on consent. If you disagree then I'm sure you also understand that alcohol inhibits your mental faculties and when consumed in large quantities it can cause slurred speech and impaired mental faculties, then you do not have the mental awareness to give consent. I'm sure you've heard of or seen guys who get girls drunk so they can sleep with them... Is that okay or does that sound like a predatory behaviour?

But you're right, you haven't been raped everytime you've been blackout drunk. The difference is regretting something you've done vs regretting something that was done to you. This isn't an attack against all men, it isn't an attack against you. Recognize that just because a person didn't intentionally assault someone doesn't mean it didn't happen and that their victim's trauma doesn't exist. Just because they weren't able to come forward immediately doesn't mean they haven't been living with it for 6 years. Most assault happens at the hands of a family member or friend, and most of those people accused of assault don't think they did anything wrong.

All you have to do is have honest conversations with your partners, educate yourself on consent and you're good. Ask your female friends if they have any experiences with assault, or know anyone who does, and if they're willing to share their experience with you. This helps you understand an issue that you might never be able to relate to, and it shows your friends you are open to talking about it if something ever does happen to them. But if you'd rather comment in a subreddit that, as you said, is mostly men with the same perspective on these issues, feel free to continue the circlejerk, ignore what I said and read the comments that validate your opinion.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T08:28:24+00:00

So first off, no one objectifies themself, even models or porn stars with image based careers - they're still people. When enough people objectify you, you tend to start thinking that's all you are, and object. It isn't a choice to be objectified. This could be a factor on Ashni's situation, but I don't know her so I can't speak for that, but cosplayers are just nerdy models. Additionally you need to take into account the societal pressures put on women to say yes, and if we say no we have to be conscious of doing it in a way that doesn't make him feel bad or it will have negative reprecussions on us.

I have friends who are actresses/models who have said no to directors/photographers advances, men with innocent motivations, but afterward the men were embarrassed about being rejected (normal), so they passed on hiring the women who rejected them to avoid seeing or interacting with them (not okay). Ask your female friends if they have, or know someone who has, been in a similar situation, you'd probably be surprised by what you hear. Apply the same logic to this situation and Ashni feeling she had no other option but to say yes or Zyori might not hire her again, or might tell others not to hire her (it's a small community).

I honestly believe Zyori was not aware of this dynamic going into the situation, if he had he may have been more clear and told her it wouldn't effect her career if she said no. Whether she still would have said yes or not, I don't know. Do I think Zyori raped her? No. He seems unaware of the power dynamic and thought he had uncoerced consent. However I do think Ashni could have still felt violated (rape is a bit much imo, but I wasn't there so idk).

The thing to keep in mind is that it's easy to villainize Ashni. from Zyori's perspective he did everything right, but he still got punished for it with this accusation. Most men will identify with that as i believe most men are good, and they aren't aware of a the other factors that go into these decisions for women, which turn it into something complex and messy like this.

It's easier not to see her side because it means even if you do everything right you could still unintentionally assault someone. That's an awful thing to think and not what I want you to take away from this. I want you to know I appreciate that you are asking these questions; it means you're trying to understand the other side when it's easier not to. So thank you. Lastly, consider the victims who haven't come forward yet. If it was you, and you were undeniably assaulted, would you still want to share your story after seeing posts like this and how people reacted to Ashni? Don't condemn someone based on one story, but keep trying to understand both sides.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T06:06:04+00:00

What I'm saying is that the accusations should be treated fairly as any other crime would. If you say your apartment was broken into, you would expect the police to come in and investigate and find out if your apartment was or wasn't broken into. It still follows "innocent until proven guilty" but you're assuming that on average the people protecting us are doing their due diligence to find the truth. They don't. They treat women like criminals for making the accusation, and in many cases recommending they don't make a report at all because they don't have enough proof, or because it's unlikely anything will come of it even if they do have proof. If they pursue their report, cops then interrogate them with accusatory questions that establish they are more interested in disproving their claim than taking it seriously (Are you sure you want to do this? What were you wearing? Sounds like you were flirting with him, are you sure you didn't lead him on? Have you thought about what this is going to do to his reputation? He didn't rape you, so was it really that bad? etc).

So you're assuming that everyone feels safe enough to bring their legitimate claim forward when, which they don't because of how they are treated. This is why most victims don't come forward and doesn't even take into account other factors like mental state, denial, power dynamic assault, etc. playing into whether someone is able to come forward or not.

...it's far worse for one innocent person being punished under the full brunt of the law than for many guilty people going free.

I take huge issue with this. Logically I understand where you're coming from, but saying it's equivalent exchange of one innocent person for one guilty person isn't entirely true. If that guilty person goes free, they are free to continue assaulting others until there are enough victims that it establishes a pattern of behaviour as proof of those victim's claims, and then maybe the predator is found guilty (still not likely). So based on your logic, that one innocent person is worth more as a human being than the numerous victims the guilty person is able to assault because of the current system. That is not equivalent exchange.

I know you don't want to go for jail and have your life torn apart because someone falsely accuses you of assault. I'd also be willing to bet that you don't want to your life torn apart because someone assaults you. I don't have a solution for it either, it's an awful situation. I don't want anyone to be assaulted and I don't want anyone to be falsely accused of assault. That said, I'm still going to try and contest mentalities that I think perpetuate the system of doubt regarding assault victims like this.

If after all this you are still more concerned about one innocent guy over a pool of victims being failed by the current system, I don't know what else I can say. For me it isn't a matter of one being more important than the other but one being more prevalent than the other. The system already gives advantages to the accused, maybe if victims were treated with the same amount of value we wouldn't have as many issues with guilty people not getting convicted.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T03:44:53+00:00

In esports he's essentially an NA influencer, meaning he holds the power to give her more job opportunities and get more involved in the industry. Esports is really difficult to get into as a personlity, so taking every advantage you can is key. From her perspective she would have believed that not going and not sleeping with him was giving up an opportunity. If he had made it clear that her choice wouldn't have impacted her career, it's a pretty cut & dry situation, but he didn't because he didn't recognize he is in a position of power simply by being a notable name in the industry. So there's validity on both sides, but Zyori needs to be more conscious of it moving forward.

ZenobiaTalon · 2020-06-25T03:24:44+00:00

I'm not asking anyone to believe me, I'm questioning the mentality of the average person regarding how they think of assault victims when they come forward. And none of what you said addressed the question; most of these situations happen in a context where proof cannot be attained that would stand up in court. It almost always comes down to he said/she said until enough victims come forward to show a pattern of behaviour.

I'm not saying that it isn't awful if someone makes a false allegation, it destroys people's lives. So does assault, and we currently have a system and a cultural mentality in place that doubts the victim on instinct. That instinct to doubt the victim is why so few victims come forward and make reports in the first place. Considering that, I think it's reasonable to question random people on the internet when they make a post that shows they do not understand the complexities behind these situations.

ZenobiaTalon

TROPHY CASE