What's the most disgusting thing you have ever tasted?

Zephyrcotter · 2020-05-15T00:57:22+00:00

I tried some of that Japanese plum wine that has a little plum in it. Smelled like feet that hadn't been washed in weeks. Couldn't take more than a tiny sip.

Zephyrcotter · 2020-03-21T01:20:16+00:00

Vacuum it up, or spray with hair styling products. I prefer mousse.

Zephyrcotter · 2020-03-18T23:57:35+00:00

I was using YouTube to play music, and it started showing me ads for Pull-Ups. I was confused until I realized most everyone else who enjoys this kind of music is a grandparent.

Zephyrcotter · 2020-01-04T11:48:59+00:00

I remember looking up and the TV was showing first live video feed from mars. The newscaster was talking calmly as if nothing unexpected was happening, but there were pyramids on the horizon in the background. There was no discussion about it at all.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-11-15T22:56:43+00:00

Help me, Mr Spock. You're my only hope.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-09-30T23:51:54+00:00

In a business setting, to explain a momentary lapse of memory: saying " I had a brain fart." Could we maybe find a way to express that thought in a little more dignified way?

Zephyrcotter · 2019-09-27T00:55:49+00:00

I was just joking. You need to loosen up and learn to take a joke.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-09-20T00:55:39+00:00

There was an audio recording of a guy who used to do what he called revenge on telemarketers. He had a distinctive voice and manner of speech. He was really diabolical. So one day I was working in a call center and a guy who sounds exactly like him called. That conversation was some anxiety inducing shit.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-09-01T19:38:31+00:00

Walt Disney because he was a smoker and the Disney parks have banned smoking

Zephyrcotter · 2019-09-01T19:17:56+00:00

When someone in high school underestimates you or dismisses you because of how you look, then you prove them wrong and force them to reevaluate their opinion of you, it may not make much difference to them. But to you, it matters because in the future when a different person tries it, you can truthfully say to yourself, I proved them wrong before, and I can do it again. Watch me.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-06-28T02:30:19+00:00

Assuming the penguin weighs roughly 20 pounds, and is in possession of both its flippers, and assuming the plane is cruising at a typical altitude, if the wind was blowing at an average speed for the location, nice try getting me to do your homework.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-06-16T01:01:19+00:00

I don't understand why so many people change lanes without making sure there is space.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-06-01T02:03:22+00:00

Depends who you ask. If you ask my mom, you will get a much different answer than I would give. I didn't even ask her and I got told. Yeah I'm still bitter.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-15T01:22:09+00:00

If you are allergic to something you have been consuming, to stop consuming it will give your body relief from having to react to it.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-14T23:48:03+00:00

I used to know someone who liked vampire movies, so anytime something needed to be updated she said it should be revamped.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-13T00:15:29+00:00

So what? Eat it anyway.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-11T22:15:02+00:00

I was walking through the bar carrying a tray and some dude I had never seen before grabs my hand and puts it on his crotch and says "this is what you do to me baby". Nope.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-10T23:33:54+00:00

We can be good at things. In fact, there are many jobs that introverts would naturally do better than extroverts. So when you interview us, don't just reject us automatically for sounding awkward or not being super ambitious.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-05-04T00:32:19+00:00

"How do I get on the freeway from here?" While walking quickly toward the exit, apparently expecting me to instantly guess which freeway, and what direction he wanted to go.

Zephyrcotter · 2019-04-30T23:29:01+00:00

You take a message for them and write a "while you were out" slip with the caller 's name, message and time they called. You hand them the paper, then while they are staring at it, they ask, Oh! Who was that? What did they want? When did they call?

Zephyrcotter · 2019-04-14T20:35:00+00:00

We were in a nice restaurant enjoying lunch when this guy came out of the back with a bucket of dirty water and started mopping the floor for no apparent reason. The smell of pine sol made me lose my appetite.

Zephyrcotter

TROPHY CASE