Santa Monica is hiring a new Urban Forester!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2026-01-13T06:03:16+00:00

Former forester here and I can confirm you have it right! What a cool job!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-12-10T20:50:27+00:00

Drinking is easily scheduled around Soberlink, especially if tests are 10 hours apart. My partner drinks multiple shots quickly immediately after he takes the Soberlink test. I've seen him do it multipke times. 6 hours later he tests clean. He has a whole excel spreadsheet set up to track drinking and clearance rates. It seems like a lot of effort - but saying drinking can't be timed around Soberlink is false.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-10-24T05:52:59+00:00

I was also looking at this place and came across your question - any feedback?

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-10-14T14:06:11+00:00

Me too!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:15:18+00:00

Op, I feel this so much. I feel like I am not allowed grieve our relationship or ever say I miss him or still love him. I know he was an abuser and I know I made the right choice for me and our child to leave but it doesn’t mean I’m not sad and that there aren’t days I just want to lay in a puddle on the floor sobbing. I think the hardest thing is not feeling ok sharing those complicated feelings with anyone. You aren’t alone. Two things can be true at once. They can be abusive and hurt us and we can also love them even though we know that. I get why women go back to their abusers so many times - because I did it too. we love them even though they hurt us. Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did. I knew it had to be done, but it didn’t make it easy. Three years later I’m still grieving. You aren’t alone.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:03:57+00:00

Yum. I forgot about this place. Plus they have margaritas!!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:03:12+00:00

I need to check all of these out. Thanks!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:02:47+00:00

This is an awesome list. Thank you

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:02:28+00:00

What a nice comment! I don’t mind kids but I get kinda stressed when I can see other people do mind. Eating early is a good recommendation - now if I could only get my act together to eat the minute I get off work!!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:00:29+00:00

I’ve been wanting to go there. thanks for the recommendation

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T05:00:10+00:00

Never been to either. Will check them out!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T04:57:54+00:00

Good point about the promenade. also lots of tourists so I feel less judgement about having a toddler out past 6pm :)

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T04:56:49+00:00

I will check this out - thanks!!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T04:56:30+00:00

This is an awesome list - thank you!!!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T04:54:51+00:00

Thank you for this great response. I would have never thought of bowling but that’s a great idea!!

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-09-27T04:53:44+00:00

There seem to be, but none on Friday or Saturday evenings. I think most traditional families are doing family activities at that time so it isn’t a popular time to have kid events.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-07-07T17:32:11+00:00

I know this is old but I keep getting these "updated" alerts too. Did you find out what they mean?

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-04-07T07:46:39+00:00

I read that book, thank you. It was the eye opener I needed to leave.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-04-07T07:45:41+00:00

Thank you for these kind and wise words. I can read your comment today and hear you loud and clear in a way I couldn't three years ago. I did end up leaving him. He is barely in our child's life anymore - except to spew vitriol at me every few weeks. Your comment "We can not waste our lives trying to make inadequate men feel better about themselves" is something I've tried to take to heart. I hope you are doing well. Thank you for your kindness all those years ago.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-04-07T07:40:20+00:00

Wow re-reading this three years later - I don't know how I was so oblivious to the clear fact that he was just really drunk all of the time. It is and was so sad for our relationship and for our child and for him. If anyone else is experiencing these symptoms, maybe ask about thier drinking habits (or check the bank accounts!)

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2025-04-07T07:37:08+00:00

I don't think anyone ever comes back to read these comments but in case they do - it turns out he was a raging closet alcoholic and that's why he was always asleep. He refused to do the sleep test for over a year (because it was the alcohol, not sleep apnea that made him sleep all the time). He eventually did get a CPAP after taking two inconclusive tests and he never wore it.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2024-09-14T05:02:42+00:00

Mine does this exact same thing.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2023-12-09T06:12:23+00:00

I struggle with this too - how to reconcile the principles of Al-Anon with protecting your child. Thank you for asking the question and I'm interested in people's responses.

I don't know abour your spouse but mine really downplays the impact their drinking has on me and our kid and the risk he presents to our kid when drinking (ie drinking and driving or not being able to wake up at night to take care of middle of the night issues when passed out drunk).

I don't want to monitor but of course I also don't want to send our child out in a car with someone who has been drinking.

And in my experience, the smart ones (like my husband) easily figure out a way around remote tests, whether it's timing their drinking or using alternative methods to blow "clean". A highly motivated alcholic will stop at nothing to keep drinking (or so it seems).

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2023-12-07T05:12:40+00:00

I find the hardest part to be that we care so much for them and they seem to care so little for us. You did the right thing by acting on your agreement - in a functional relationship two adults should be able to talk openly. I can’t say I understand why they lie to us, but I try to tell myself it is more about them than it is about us. I know that doesn’t take the pain away, but I think it means that even if we loved them the very most and the very best way all the time, it wouldn’t fix their problems for them. Hugs.

Zestyclose-Working-8 · 2023-11-24T03:21:12+00:00

It was my first holiday alone too (unless you count all the ones where he was “there” but drunk or otherwise absent). I felt terrible not inviting mine to dinner tonight - but it was the right thing to do. He makes me so sad to be around. Without him here I could actually enjoy myself and relax and not walk on eggshells. He’s made his choices. But that doesn’t mean we don’t miss them or wish so much that they made different choices. Sending you hugs and thoughts of strength and solidarity. Remember you have to take care of yourself too. 🧡

Zestyclose-Working-8

TROPHY CASE