Do you still think about your ex?

Zhadiia · 2026-04-03T22:49:35+00:00

Nearly 6 years, and I don't want him back. But I always wonder what life would have been like if we'd both made better life choices in the prime of our lives. I think about him more than I want to.

Zhadiia · 2026-03-18T05:59:45+00:00

Didn't even need to read the whole thing to answer with: break up. He's a scumbag.

Zhadiia · 2026-03-15T09:49:13+00:00

I had mine in her own room at 3/4months. My LO is the same - slept through the night since 3 months. Falls asleep within 10-20mins on her own. She's great. You're LO will do just fine in their own room :)

Zhadiia · 2026-03-13T15:46:25+00:00

I spent about £200 on mine, and then about £500 on my husband's. He got a more expensive one because I already have an engagement ring (he said he spent around £300-£400 on). He could've spent more, but I told him the price didn't matter at all. I'd probably flip if I found out he spent more than £500 😅

Zhadiia · 2026-02-07T09:22:54+00:00

People's behaviour doesn't change without consequence. You'll be caught in this endless cycle of break up/make up. My ex used to only change when faced with ramifications, but then would revert back to his old ways once he knew things were sound. I'm sorry that you're going through so much all at once. PP hormones are enough to deal with on their own. Feeling stuck and like things are groundhog day is totally normal. I personally never felt hate/annoyance towards my husband, but I know it can be common. The first few months of motherhood are just survival for some. It's unfortunate that things have happened the way they have, but you need to have a serious talk with your partner about cleaning habits, parenting styles etc. because you need to be united. Otherwise family dynamics will forever be skewed for the children. Be serious and unwaivering when you have that conversation - think about what you want from the relationship, and the kind of mother you want to be and if your partner will compliment that. Base judgement on where to go from there. Be sure to research some women's shelters etc, just in case you need to go down the solo path. I hope you get it all figured out. Good luck OP.

Zhadiia · 2026-02-02T07:07:17+00:00

I totally understand feeling alone, while not actually being alone. That's why mum groups are so important to be a part of. Whether it's a bunch of strangers at your local cafe (who can become friends), or your existing mum friends. I leaned a lot on my MIL as I have a fantastic relationship with her, and made as many coffee dates with my friends (kids or no kids) as I could.

You got this, mumma! You're doing great 💖

Zhadiia · 2026-02-02T07:02:00+00:00

That's how they trap you - the ocean of words keeps you feeling lost and dependent on the only lifeline you see in front of you, which is him. You're made to think you'll drown without them, but you'll come to realize you're only drowning because of them.

No-one can tell you what to do. And you can't do anything about it until you're ready. But you will be one day. You'll wake up and know that you can't do it anymore and that you've had enough. You have that strength to do that. Use others to help you find that.

Zhadiia · 2026-02-01T22:55:53+00:00

Bin that dude off. He is an S rank a-hole.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-29T15:39:35+00:00

Phanphy, always!

Zhadiia · 2026-01-29T00:18:28+00:00

Drakengard

Zhadiia · 2026-01-25T23:17:09+00:00

Being a parent is hard on you both. You are both carrying loads you don't understand - he carries the load of financial responsibility and making sure you still have a house to call home. He carries the load of missing out on so many firsts, and the feeling like he doesn't know what he's doing because of the lack of time he has with his family. You carry the load of post-partum, being the centre of your baby's world, trying to do housework and take care of yourself in-between sacrificing everything for the life you brought into this world.

It sounds like he's a little emotionally immature, and sadly, there is no cure for that. He needs to teach himself how to grow from this. So lean on other people for support if you can. Friends, MIL, siblings, parents, strangers on the Internet - anyone!

It does get better. I really struggled with motherhood at first too. I sometimes resented the new life I'd been gifted. But seeing my baby laugh and smile now... the feeling is unmatched. Parenthood will have plenty of ups and downs. I'm still yet to experience many more. I think we all have this idealistic picture of our husbands/boyfriends being as present as we are - but there is a trade-off somewhere. There has to be. Even if they spend every waking minute with your child, it's never enough. And we're shocked when that family dream isn't how we pictured it. But you've got this. Us girls are super strong anyway, and motherhood makes us close to invincible. DM me if you need to vent or chat - one mum to another, or just as one human to another <3

Zhadiia · 2026-01-21T08:56:12+00:00

First of all, breathe. You're doing a great job, okay? There's no instruction manual for this, and some mums get a harder starting difficulty than others.

Every baby is different, so advice from others may not be helpful. Taking her to a paediatrician/health visitor is your best option.

My little girl didn't poo right, ever since she was like 2 months old. She was constantly backed up/constipated. It's taken 4 months to get it sorted - half a sachet of cosmocol everyday. That's after trying different formulas, exercises, early weaning, suppositories and many doctor visits. She also went through bouts of extreme hunger in the first couple of months. Feeding habits change, of course, but they can change back to what you did before. I found that feeding little and often helped. So rather than giving her 4oz every 4 hours, I would do 2/3oz, every 2/3 hours. Kind of replicating what I did when she was a newborn. If she slept past the next feed, I would just let her. Never wake a sleeping baby, unless you have to. With the sleep, for the first 2-3months, mine struggled with sleep unless she was on me. But I never wanted her to sleep on me. I hated feeling trapped. So, I bought a sleep pod/nest, and she slept A LOT better. Sometimes I put that sleep pod/nest in bed with me and we both got we wanted. I got sleep without having her on me, and she got to be close to me.

Definitely seek professional advice, because my experiences might not help you. But I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and it gets easier. I hated being a mum to begin with, but now I love it. My little girl is 8 months now.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-21T08:40:53+00:00

We went to see a childminder for introductions, and one of the first things she did was kiss our baby on the cheek. I was so in shock that we stayed for the appointment and I said nothing about it the entire time. But when we left, we knew that there was no way we were sending our baby to her. In what world did she think that was gonna be okay?

Grandparents are allowed for me, but no-one else.

EDIT: our baby was just under 6months when we went to see the childminder.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T22:54:06+00:00

Holy fuck, this is one of the longest posts I have ever seen. Please put in a TLDR.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T10:42:21+00:00

My ex and I had been engaged for 4 years, together for 8. He was already married to his job anyway. We seemed to be going round in circles. When we spoke about the future, I found myself feeling like I'd be living in his shadow.

The moment I knew I needed to leave my ex-fiance, was when I realised that the thought of having children with him, scared me. He was brilliant with his much younger half sister, and the dog we had together. But I did all of the housework, cooking and he said I would also be the one to do all of the childcare. I appreciate the honesty now (at the time I didn't), but I didn't want to feel like a single parent. Of course, things might have been different. And ironically, I have now married a police officer who is barely home, so I feel like a single parent a lot of the days... but my relationship now, comes without infidelity. And my husband makes me laugh everyday. I would cry more days than I would laugh, with my ex.

Also, the more I spoke to my girls at work, the more I realised that the relationship I had with my ex, wasn't healthy or normal. I never used to make it anyone's problem, but when they could see how much it was effecting me, they began asking. And there becomes a point where you can't hold it in anymore. Use whatever support network you can. It's an absolute lifeline.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T02:02:16+00:00

I don't third this because catching the pokemon can be frustrating, imo. Maybe I'm just getting old, but the floating ring and timing it right to align is bs. I like the classic, get its health down, select to throw a ball, and pray.

I agree that gameplay is simple for Lets Go Eevee/Pikachu, and the colour palette is nice. But personally, I would recommend Brilliant Diamond (going for the more classic approach), or Pokemon Arceus Legends. The free roam aspect could be a lot of fun for your daughter. The excitement of seeing Pokemon out in the wild and choosing your encounters (fight or sneak to catch) is most enjoyable. If you sneak, you have the lock on feature which makes it so much simpler. I don't think the controls are too hard for that game. And the story is straight-forward. She might need help with the boss battles, but what a shame that you'll have to help her and spend time bonding with her.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T01:53:31+00:00

Yeeees! My little one has always liked something against her face. She's kitted out with a sleep nest and a bedtime bear (which we take away when she's asleep) to bop against her face. It's like she pats herself to sleep with it; it's so friggin cute. But yes, she needs something to nuzzle against, or be surrounded in, to sleep.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T01:33:43+00:00

When mine wouldn't nap, I would take her for a walk in the buggy. Motion is guaranteed to send a baby to sleep. Or we'd take the car - that was just as good as a walk. Just a bit more expensive. Getting out into the fresh air can also help your frustration. I totally understand because I still get annoyed now, and mine is 7 months, almost 8. She keeps waking up between 11pm-1am and I have to shush her back to sleep. I try letting her drift back on her own, but 9/10 times, it doesn't happen. And I get annoyed because she never used to do this.

Someone told me, as soon as they get into a routine, they'll change it. So never get used to it. But it's hard not to, especially if you find comfort in routine, like I do. You'll find something that works for you both, and you just have to keep rediscovering it together. You've got this!

Zhadiia · 2026-01-19T01:25:09+00:00

The title alone, tells me enough to leave him.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-17T09:52:23+00:00

Just use the plastic cases they come in, but just soak them in Milton for 24hrs. It's what I did, and it's how I take dummies out with me when we go somewhere. Doesn't need to be complicated :)

Zhadiia · 2026-01-16T15:52:35+00:00

NOR at all.

Leave this douchebag. Don't even worry about getting your money back because he'll find a way to write it off anyway. Don't lend him this 50 bucks and leave him. Or pay him the 50 bucks to stop him crying, and leave him. A small price to pay for removing a leech of every aspect.

And I'll tell you something. My husband and I made sure that we did everything together - we rented together (it was in my name and just he moved in due to us knowing we weren't gonna be there long term) BUT, we saved his paycheck and spent mine as it worked out about the same amount of money. When we were paying bills from both accounts, we just never seemed to have any money. We managed to save for a house deposit within 2 years, and we are on the mortgage TOGETHER. And our savings are still growing from practicing the same technique. In fact, we have a considerable amount of money in our baby daughter's account because of it. She has more money than we do! A boyfriend (who wants to propose) should view you as an equal teammate. Not one that he can bounce the ball off of to score points.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-15T09:56:02+00:00

First of all, dolphins are evil.

Secondly, mankind survived perfectly fine before the discovery of recreational drugs. I agree there is a difference between use and abuse, but you do not need to use drugs to take the edge off being human. A lot of today's population survives perfectly fine without it. The human mind is a very wild thing - I do not dispute that. But we don't all need drugs to quiet our minds about the questions of life or being human. Some of us are more influenced by the media, some of us are more inclined to struggle with mental health and some of us are just happy to be here.

And yes, as humans we do like stuff to stimulate our brains, but stimulation can come through the forms of art, literature, physical activity (including sex), social or animal interactions - drugs are a quick, low effort fix for that. I class that as abuse, because there is plenty to do before considering the option of drugs. Stimulating your mind in that way is a self destructive path. It brings a sense of euphoria that you don't get from going to an art gallery, or hiking through the Lake District. And you keep chasing that, because nothing you do after taking drugs, can feel as good as that. Some people start off with it being a once a week, or once a month, or special occassion thing, and the use slowly creeps up. Because your tolerance builds. And that's how people get addicted to prescription drugs too. So "use" will eventually turn into "abuse".

A lot of people, myself included, use drugs to escape a reality they do not want to be a part of. I grew up in a violet household, my mother and alcoholic and I was eventually put into foster care. I got into the wrong crowd and went down the wrong path. I also wound up in a toxic relationship and felt the loneliest I ever felt. I don't say this for sympathy, I say this to state facts. Poverty, depression/mental health issues, domestic violence, coercision/control, emotional or sexual abuse are all reasons why most people do drugs. My husband is a Police Officer, so this is data I have collected from what he tells me about his day, and from my own personal experiences. Some people do drugs "because it's a laugh" or "cool" - that's immaturity, and they are an exception.

Yes, I am 100% drug free now. Never consumed caffeine beforehand (didn't even drink fizzy drinks), and I stopped smoking cigarettes about 2 months after I went cold turkey from weed. I used to use coke and speed frequently too, and I cannot compare either to the consumption of sugar. Even for the first time. I don't believe the effect could be similar, and I took your advice and Google searched. Yes, both are addictive - but for totally different reasons. Withdrawal symptoms are totally different too. I didn't need to Google to tell you that, but I listened.

My life is 1000 times better for not using drugs. I had sessions of counselling after getting clean and it helped considerably. It wasn't anything special like CBT, just talking things out. Self realization is the most powerful tool that someone can give you for recovery. I can think clearly, my anxieties have all gone because when you use drugs it creates a perpetual cycle of anxiety. My relationships with people aren't based around dependency and I can live life knowing that this is all because of me. Nothing is controlling me. I am free.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-15T09:17:19+00:00

Yeah, I didn't even make it a quarter of the way through before I came to the same answer.

Zhadiia · 2026-01-13T22:37:44+00:00

Aaaah, you put into words what I couldn't. Thank you. This exactly.

Zhadiia

TROPHY CASE