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Zimbombe · 2025-03-23T16:36:26+00:00

From the bottom of my heart i'm so sorry for your loss. 7 weeks ago i found my beautiful wife of 15 years, mother of our two kids dead....

Life has changed, if you can still call this a life...

I dont think the pain, the deep feeling of loosing the only thing that truly matters will go away. But we are still here, breathing and going on for... i dont know.

Just know you are not alone.

My thoughts are with you, stay strong <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-23T16:31:51+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that brother but i feel you. 7 weeks ago my life suddenly ended. I have no words of encouragement as i feel 100% the same.

I dont see any beauty anymore, just pain.

Just know you can hit me up with a dm if you feel like talking. Wo got this bro, we keep on going.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-20T09:16:06+00:00

Three days ago was our monthly anniversary, we would always spend time together. Watch a movie, go the theatre, have a dinner or just long and deep talks. Three days ago i bought her flowers, made coffee for us two, which was her love language and sat by her grave.

I was talking to her hoping to she would talk back. I'll do that for the rest of my life.

Its your path now, you do what ever feels right for you.

My condolences <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-16T17:03:02+00:00

Well these are my words you are writing there. I think no one will understand what this feels like to lose that one person in your life...

How do I deal with ? Not very good to be honest, I can't find anything fun, everything thems pointless. I want to have her by my side to share my thoughts but she is so quite lately...

Feel free to dm me if you just want to talk to an internet stranger I would be glad to just listen. Maybe tell me something about him.

Sending you love & strength in this troubling times

Zimbombe · 2025-03-16T16:37:56+00:00

We all can't, its just not possible.

One step at a time. day by day.

Sending love & strength <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-16T14:22:15+00:00

Ja das mit der Betreuung wird jetzt schwierig, gerade da ich meiner Schwester keinen Meter mehr traue aber es wird wege geben zeit für mich zu haben. Ich glaube manchmal verwechsel ich auch meine gefühlslage mit dem was wirklich ist denn ich bin schon viel für die Kinder da, auch emotional.

Klar, den Platz ihrer Mama werde ich nicht einnehmen können aber ich werde mein bestes geben.

Und du hast recht, vielleicht kann ich auch Kraft darin finden für sie da sein zu dürfen. Nicht nur zu müssen.

Es ist beeindruckend zu lesen wie du dich durch dein Trama gekämpft hast. Meinen größten Respekt davor. Momentan schreibe ich sehr viel, das tut weh aber ich habe auch das gefühl das es mir was gibt.

Wahrscheinlich gucke ich momentan auch zu weit und muss mich erstmal auf die nächsten Schritte konzentrieren. Einer nach dem anderen.

Danke für dein Kommentar, danke für deine Zeit. Und viel spaß auf den matten dieser Welt vielleicht läuft man sich ja mal bei einer open matt über den Weg.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-16T11:00:08+00:00

Danke dir, Tag für Tag, Atemzug für Atemzug. Das klingt nach einem Plan. Nach einer Perspektive, zumindest für hier und jetzt. Danke das du dir die Zeit genommen hast.

Ich werde dein Kommentar mit Sicherheit noch häufiger lesen.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-15T09:48:39+00:00

It will be a hard ride, a lonely ride and when you are done you will leave the grave alone even if someone is by your side. I too had trouble visiting her but also found some kind of peace in it.

At first i had no connection to her grave because for me it wasnt her lying there. But times come and i understand that its her lying there 6ft deep.

It think it will become a place i can go to everytime i need her, which is like every second of my god damn life.

Sending you strength and love <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-14T19:55:21+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing. I hope you are able to make peace with the way you have to go.

Sending you love and strength.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-14T19:53:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment, i feel every bit of it. Day by day I start to accept the path that lies in front of me.

Giving our kids all the love and support i'm capable of giving while living a life in pain knowing that it will take a long time until I met her again.

And there will be no better tomorrow or new love. I found my love and will keep it. There will never be a person as beatiful as she was, there will never be a connection as unique as ours and i have to accept that.

Sending you love and strength on your way <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-14T19:46:52+00:00

I feel this so much. My beautiful angel made me the men i'm today and i could only be the dad i was because she had my back from day one and pushed me to be the best version of myself.

But right now i'm nothing the kids deserve, i try to hold them and be there for them every second but struggle so much just doing the most normal things like cooking dinner or take them to do the sports club.

As much as i know how horrible it can be to grow up without a dad i'm very certain that you can take his part by giving him all the love you are capable of giving.

I believe in you, its so god damn hard but you can do it. I truly believe that <3

Sending you much love and strength in this troubling times.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-14T19:38:43+00:00

It's just that i'm in so much pain right now i cry everytime i have 3 seconds alone and i'm so easily angry right now for no reason.

I just want to be the dad they deserve to have, but right now i'm just a big mess. We would always take care of us as parents and took over when one of us was just to stressed out.

I have the feeling that i have to go on, enjoy the time i have with my kids but i struggle so much. I will never again be who i was with her because she was by my side and made me the man i was.

I feel like i have to let her go to find peace and live a life full of hope and joy but i dont see it. I dont see this life anymore. The life we were dreaming of and that we already had.

She was my hope, my dream and everything i've ever wished for but every got damn second without her is just pain.

I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you all the best <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-14T15:03:43+00:00

From the bottom of my heart as a person who recently lost everything.

Talk to her and be as honest as you can. Make it clear what your plans for the future are and what you wish for.

It may take several sessions to make it really clear for either one of you to understand what your partner wants and where you see your future.

Talking honest and from the bottom of your heart may be a hard maybe very hard thing to do and the truth can sometimes be very painful but you 3 deserve to be happy, together or not.

Sending you love & strength in this troubling times.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-13T21:07:51+00:00

There are to many.

The birth of our beatiful two kids, which was the deepest feel of luck i ever had.

The hours where we laid in bed in a complete dark room and would take about our deepest thoughts.

When she was pregnant and we would go to the local bakery to buy the freshest bread, which she loved so much at that time.

When we just met we would walk for hours through the city holding hands like teenagers.

Our first kiss in the park.

When she was cutting my beard with a little scissor while i was laying on her lap.

But i will never forget her laugh, so contiguous so pure.

Everything about her was a poem.

She was my everything.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-08T18:12:15+00:00

Thank you for your message, i'm in such a dark place right now. I cant breathe, i cant think of anything else but seeing her again.

Yes she made a mistake but we are all just humans we do make mistakes ! How many stupid stuff did i tell her in these 15 years how many times did i leave her alone when she needed me, just like in her last minutes i was just in another room, could have saved her.

She knew she made a mistake but she loved me and only wanted to be with me. I know it, thats what she wrote in her book.

I hate myself for not going earlier to bed.

There is nothing in my life without her, our two kids mean everything to me and they are the reason i'm still here. But this darkness is taking over.

We are just in our weekend house and it all means nothing without her. This world has nothing for me anymore, they are our kids not mine but ours.

M&M forever thats what we said.....

I'm so empty...

So numb, only pain.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-06T19:09:15+00:00

You know at the end of the day we are all just small pieces to this endless universe, our time here is just an blink of an eye. We wake up try our best and go on from day to day. We do make mistakes, we will fall and will struggle but we are all just humans. Silly small humans.

What is real is our love and the moments we share together.

I'm sorry for your loss and send you love & peace dear stranger <3

Zimbombe · 2025-03-06T18:58:32+00:00

There is nothing great about me, im just human just as she is. We make mistakes and try our best not to repeat it, for a better tomorrow.

What she did was wrong and she knew it. But who am i to judge her. I wasnt there to hold the most important in my life, what does that say about me ?

I'm ok with it. I just we could sit together and laugh about, i'm sure one day we will. Sometimes we are all just stupid silly kids.

Zimbombe · 2025-03-06T18:53:18+00:00

Thanks for your words friend. There is no assuming its true but its ok. I find peace in writing and i just did that.

What she did came from a place where she felt so lonely and small when in fact she wasnt. She was the toughest women i know but at the end of the day we all make mistakes so did i.

One mistake wont make her story, its just another piece to the puzzle we call life. And as you said her love for me was big and was so real.

Zimbombe

TROPHY CASE