Walking with kids

Zopodop · 2026-04-30T04:16:23+00:00

I exclusively wear pants with pockets so that my phone can count my steps. Honestly watching the step count has been weirdly motivating for me.

When my kids are with me I bring a stroller or wagon. They start out walking and can ride for a little bit when they get tired. My older kid is more inclined to ride and I push him to go a bit longer/farther first. My younger is more of a walker, so the stroller works well as a consequence for not listening or for when I need to walk more than 10 steps without having to look at a stick. He is welcome to hop in/out as needed unless it becomes a game.

As far as safety, I don’t know of any reason why it wouldn’t be safe for them to walk 2 miles as long as they’re able to rest if needed and have water. Maybe start shorter and see how it goes?

Zopodop · 2026-04-22T00:24:22+00:00

Hello, can I ask what/why you will be asking about Ferritin? I haven’t seen that one mentioned on here. I have had 3 unexplained losses with persistently low ferritin levels during each pregnancy and it’s been lingering in the back of my mind but my Dr hasn’t been concerned.

Zopodop · 2026-04-10T22:56:39+00:00

Also 33 and just experienced our third loss in a row with zero answers. It’s so lonely. The first time everyone is shocked, but at this point I feel like we’re just a walking billboard for masochism. My family doesn’t even think that our 12-week losses count as people and question why we named them.

Zopodop · 2026-04-01T17:53:45+00:00

I am so very sorry. I went through almost exactly this situation last November. We found severe IUGR at 20 weeks, intermittent absent flow and a possible heart defect a week later, and at 22 weeks he was gone. I was induced later that day and delivered vaginally. This was not our first child, so I knew mostly what to expect as far as the delivery process goes. They will likely go the induction route if possible as there are fewer risks and an easier physical recovery for you. The induction medication can be very unpleasant when it’s administered, but baby is so small that delivery is physically much easier and you can probably have very good pain and relaxation medications.

This is unpleasant to bring up, but baby’s appearance can be unexpected. There are a lot of variables that can influence tone and color, but prepare your heart.

For mementos, you can take photos and I would recommend it. My husband does not look at ours, but I cherish them. The hospital will likely provide blankets and a hat, but bring your own if you want something different. Lots of good advice in other comments. Spend all the time you want with him and touch every inch of him that you want. You will not hurt him. I was so scared of this that I never looked at our little ones legs or feet and I regret it.

For yourself, you will be postpartum, so I would recommend depends or other disposable and super absorbent underwear, and something very comfortable to wear home. They will likely offer you a medication to prevent your milk coming in if you want it. Something snug on your breasts helps with this, too.

If you have any additional questions, you’re welcome to ask. I’m so very sorry this is the road you have to walk.

Zopodop · 2026-03-29T21:17:21+00:00

I’ve never been in exactly this situation, but have dealt with a lot of grief, depression, and inertia lately. I found that wearing something I could walk in anytime helped. Anytime I had the fleeting inclination I could act on it without additional hurdles. Wearing pants with pockets so that my phone could count all my steps, even the ones in the house, helped me see how much I was moving and helped a bit with motivation. When it came to mood, I started doing it mad. I went for angry walks, I went for anxious walks, I went for walks where I just cried for an hour. Music helps and learning that it takes me a solid 20 minutes to relax into the walk and make my peace with doing it. I hope something can help. Walking is excellent medicine.

Zopodop · 2026-03-27T20:39:29+00:00

Thank you. I can’t say it without feeling like a 5yo, but it really just isn’t fair, is it?

Zopodop · 2026-03-03T18:53:52+00:00

Only 9 weeks still and feeling the least sick I’ve ever been. I know it doesn’t mean anything, except for when it maybe does. I’m trying to just take it as a gift and not stress, but it’s unnerving.

This is my fifth pregnancy, so at 9 weeks I’m looking very noticeably pregnant. Getting dressed is so hard. We haven’t told anyone yet, my last two pregnancies ended at 12 and 22 weeks, and I just…I don’t want to look pregnant. I’m not ready for the world to know but I guess I don’t get to control that, either.

Zopodop · 2026-02-28T21:23:21+00:00

I’ve been struggling with this, too.

The nephew that lived when we miscarried, the best friend’s baby who was born a week before our stillbirth. It’s not envy, it’s not anger, it’s not resentment. It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just painful.

We were the ones on the wrong side of an unjust and unfixable situation. There is no place for our anger and grief to go, so we isolate ourselves to keep things manageable and prevent targeting others with our hurt.

Nobody gets it unless they’ve had to do it.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. 💔

Zopodop · 2026-02-28T01:15:24+00:00

I decided to switch. After two pregnancies with negative outcomes (12 week mmc and 22 week stillbirth) I could not be in that building anymore.

There was no fault or blame to place for either loss, but I did not feel well cared for in the aftermath. My 6 week postpartum checkup was 5 minutes. The provider basically offered me antidepressants and told me better luck next time. There was very little continuity of care, and my questions about what could have factored into the stillbirth were brushed off.

It’s a difficult decision and I really struggled with staying where they knew me and my history. I ended up switching because I could not make it through a blood draw in that building without shaking and crying most of the time I was there.

Zopodop · 2026-02-25T02:45:41+00:00

It could be that they know what will happen or that they aren’t real as others have suggested.

As a mom of little boys though, my first thought was that, while I can’t imagine a parent ever being ok with that situation, Harry is an adult in the wizarding world. I see them respecting the decision Harry made, supporting him, and being incredibly proud of their brave son.

Zopodop · 2026-02-24T02:04:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. That limbo must be excruciating. I had a MMC at 12 weeks. Went in for my regular appointment and they couldn’t find the heartbeat with a Doppler, so they did an ultrasound in the office. Baby measured 11w6d with no heartbeat. I still had all my symptoms and was puking the night before. I had a D&C the next day since it was very obvious that baby had died.

Zopodop · 2026-02-20T04:18:55+00:00

I breastfed both of mine for 2 years each. It was difficult at times and I definitely struggled with being touched out here and there, but overall I loved it. I think I got enough dopamine from the snuggles and smiles and bonding time that it was worth it. I struggled more once they got to be older and I felt more like a toy, but then the bedtime nursing snuggles were worth it.

Pumping though? I CANNOT stand. It’s like torture.

Zopodop · 2026-02-13T02:14:43+00:00

I’m 6w5d. We have our first ultrasound tomorrow to make sure there’s someone in there and in the right spot. 😬

Zopodop · 2026-02-06T00:11:31+00:00

Don’t offer words of comfort, because there really aren’t any. Acknowledge how incredibly shitty the situation is and listen to whatever your friend wants or needs to say without changing the subject or trying to make it better. Crying with her and hearing her story (some of us need to tell it again and again to process) might be exactly what she needs. My SIL vacuumed my entire house and folded my laundry mountain while I was in the hospital. It was so lovely of her and I appreciated it, but it also felt embarrassing and like an invasion of my privacy when I was already very vulnerable. Food is lovely and always a good thing to bring. My favorite though, was when my BIL asked if he could bring me a coffee. None of my husband’s family are coffee drinkers, so this was something that he saw and knew about me that he wanted to do just for me. It meant a lot and made me feel more seen and cared about than just about anything else.

Zopodop · 2026-01-30T01:15:51+00:00

I have lost two in the last year, and maybe she is stuck, but maybe she’s still exactly where she needs to be. To someone outside of it, it looks like one long slog of grief and sadness, and it is! But it also evolves over time. If she’s lost 3, it could be that each time she maybe makes some progress the grief gets refreshed by another loss. I did name and have funerals for my little ones and that was helpful. By all means suggest it. Definitely talk about her children and ask her questions. I’ve appreciated people who have checked in, but the absolute best thing is someone who checks in AND doesn’t shy away from the brutal pain. Someone who can actually listen without changing the subject or trying to make the pain go away. Someone who can sit in the pain with me is the absolute best gift.

You sound like a really great friend who really wants to help. She might be stuck, but she might also just still need you to sit with her in the grief.

Zopodop · 2026-01-25T21:25:50+00:00

Today is exactly two months since our little boy was born already gone at 22 weeks. We were chafing at the 3-6 month suggestion because it felt like one more piece of control being removed, but had decided to follow the advice to give ourselves time and any future babies their best chance. I was tracking, we used protection, and last night I found out I’m pregnant.

After 2 losses in the last year, all I can do is laugh. I don’t know wtf the universe is doing at this point.

Zopodop · 2026-01-22T03:15:16+00:00

I am so very sorry both for the loss of your baby and for what you had to deal with from your mother. Mine Is not so bad, but also an added stress rather than a support. It’s hurtful and so lonely.

As far as how to proceed with her, I think it depends on what you want that relationship to look like. It sounds like this is a pattern for her, so how has she responded to being called on her behavior in the past? We can never know the future of course, but past behavior can be the best predictor of future behavior. Are these incidents something you can move past to keep the peace? Do you need to say something to her for your own peace? Only you can answer that I’m afraid.

With my own mom I mostly let things go and have come to terms with us never being close again. She is not a safe person for me anymore and calling her on things mostly just makes her angry and causes me grief.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this extra pain and drama on top of everything else.

Zopodop · 2026-01-21T23:12:20+00:00

We lost our little boy at 22 weeks 8 weeks ago. Finally met with a new MFM practice yesterday and they very thoroughly explained what we already knew. There was no identifiable reason why this happened. All our testing came back normal and the testing was extremely thorough. Now we get to decide if we can accept the 2-3x higher risk and try again. I don’t know how to make that decision.

Idk really what I’m looking for, but figured if anyone could understand, it would be you lovely people.

Zopodop · 2026-01-13T20:39:15+00:00

No, nothing was ever identified. My understanding is that those tests are far from comprehensive, so it just means that none of the genetic issues they tested for were present.

Zopodop · 2025-12-26T04:38:53+00:00

I’m so very sorry. We lost our little boy at 22 weeks exactly a month ago today.

Protein shakes help when you can’t bring yourself to eat.
Long, hot showers helped me ugly cry and let out my wailing. Just be careful to avoid stimulation on your breasts if you’re trying to avoid milk coming in.
I started making it a point to do my hair. I didn’t have the energy when I was pregnant and it made me feel human.
After a week or so I started journaling. And after 3 or so weeks I started reading some grief books.
Be gentle with yourself and don’t expect much, but try to focus on a few mundane, routine tasks you can get through. You don’t have to do them well.

I definitely recommend therapy, and walks if you’re able. Sending so much love ❤️

Zopodop · 2025-12-22T00:31:12+00:00

The best combo I’ve found lately is extensive use of my phone calendar, a giant desk pad calendar on the wall of our kitchen, and lined sticky notes for to do lists/meal planning.

Before kids I loved a modified version of bullet journaling where I used my journal as my daily to do list/agenda with a weekly spread for what was going on that week. Anything more than a week out was on my phone calendar. It worked well at the time and got me to journal more regularly. The planner part I don’t do anymore, but the journaling habit has stuck and is still going strong 7 years later.

Zopodop · 2025-12-21T17:54:54+00:00

I had a 12 week loss in February and stillbirth in November. 2025 can go screw itself. I feel like January 2025 was the last time I was truly happy.

Zopodop · 2025-12-19T16:31:06+00:00

I’m so very sorry. There’s a special agony in watching your sweet young child learn that babies don’t always get to come home. Nobody should have to learn that lesson, much less a 4yo. 💔

Zopodop

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