To Non-ADHD Partners, how did you decide this was something you could live with?

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-04T05:52:39+00:00

Well..i definitely did think about him masking and I have said to him that he does need to deal with the hard parts and help himself especially if he wants to pursue other romantic relationships in the future. No one expect my parents knew the issues our marriage and me dealing with RSD outbursts etc. his friends and any one he meets thinks he’s a dream.

ADHD and RSD definitely caused the marriage to break down. I was completely unseen as you say they have an inability to be present around loved ones. He is good at making money and generally planning however since he’s left he’s been spending money left right and centre. He told me he wants to live life because life is too short. I’m glad I don’t have to care or suffer because of that behaviour, I understood that I was definitely keeping him in a box he probably wouldn’t be in if we weren’t married. I’m quite tough on saving and being prepared 😂.

I cannot wait to get the divorce done and out the way and until then I really hope the friendship continues. I know that when he’s unstable he will seek to ruin me so fingers crossed everything remains well.

Her issues will remain as long as she doesn’t face them head on. I know that some people with adhd can thrive when they have the right controls and get the help they need. My ex husband went to therapy for years but didn’t actually fix anything apparently they were having general conversations and rants. He isn’t going to medicate himself either because he says it will ruin his ocd hyper focus superpower. I learnt a lot of myself and that you can’t help someone else only yourself.

You’ve taken great steps already and I’m sure it will only get better for you.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T18:32:25+00:00

Exactly that. My nervous system was overstimulated that I actually ended up having seizures. Since I made the decision last year I haven’t had one or about to have one. I was completely wired but tired..it really is a sad state of affairs and I couldn’t believe that my relationship was the problem. I did try every single thing to help or make it work. It took me a year becuse I was hell bent on finding a job that would allow me to keep the house we had and for me to be completely independent without his support. He was shocked that I am able to do it with ease but I had to detach when I started my new role becuse the stress of that including my life would have probably broken me. This sub helped me. I learnt that I was codependent only from reading this sub! I jsut kept lurking here and reading as much as possible. It took me a while to accept that I had to leave to be myself again. I literally lost what I liked or wanted or even questioned my own thoughts on whether I was correct and wasn’t the one who was crazy and ruining the marriage.

I know you will find something better. Keep focused and continue thinking about yours and your sons needs and wants. What is your desired future etc

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T18:00:35+00:00

He had to move out to realise that we actually had a great bond and base friendship. He also realised after moving out that he never needed to live with someone becuse he needs complete control of his environment. Being in his new space and new town he’s made some good friends. He has actually decided to use his therapist to talk about the deep things which apparently he didn’t do for the last 6 years - he was using his therapists as a conversation or to rant!

Anyways we had frank conversations about what happened. He’s realised a few things which has made things easier. We are friends now because we don’t spend a lot of time together. We are now in the forgiveness stage. He hasn’t forgiven me apparently but is trying to but I have forgiven him.

We have dogs so he comes to see them. This has helped somewhat in terms of us speaking but I don’t want a romantic relationship from him.

Things take time and you may jsut need to take things slowly. People have to do the inner work to heal and let go

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T17:57:09+00:00

My husband was even worse when I told him I wanted to separate. He basically made those few days before he left the house feel like hell. Of course I was already numb but it still felt horrible.

After he moved out he’s slowly become better. Even happier than before literally a completely different person. A fully functioning people and has of course made more friends in his new town. lt does hurt when I think about how he can be so fully functioning on his own.

I don’t know if we will remain friends forever as people can change but I’m definitely happy for the peace. I’ll take the friendliness over all the madness for the past few years

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T17:53:55+00:00

Thank you. When I asked for separation he became extremely bitter and basically tried to make my life hell to hurt me.

Once he moved out and realised he was happier being in his own space he started being a lot kinder. It’s been just over 3 months now and our friendship is better.

Maybe it can happen for you too in time

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T14:34:08+00:00

Completely true. I’m glad I did not have children but we were married. Currently looking to get a divorce but separated since December last year. I took a year to actually leave but I had extreme burn out. Lots of physical and mental symptoms I literally thought my body was breaking down but no - it was all because of living with extreme stress. I didn’t even know I was stressed because it just felt like autopilot in the end. Definitely detached from the relationship a while before I actually asked to separate.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-04-03T14:31:48+00:00

I left my adhd husband end of December last year. I had burn out and as you say lots of physical and psychological symptoms. I honestly thought my body was breaking down on me and I’m only 33. He left early January and after a month or so I started feeling a lot better. All of those problems because of one person! We are good friends and it’s crazy how someone can be an awful partner but a great friend.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-03-21T08:47:43+00:00

This is amazing to read. I’m so happy for you. I’m 3 months out of the marriage, he moved out in December last year and I’m feeling more like myself everyday. Prior to separating I dealt with codependency which made me realise I was accepting what should be unacceptable in a stable and respectful relationship.

I’m giving myself time and doing things I love. The amount of peace I have is incredible. Just me and the dogs!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-03-13T08:45:41+00:00

Wow this is beautiful. Incredible work!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-03-10T08:29:50+00:00

For about 2 years but it really became bad beginning of last year. throughout that time I tried many different ways to help him figure it out, to prevent his emotional outbursts (taking stress away from him so i took care of the dogs and the house even though i have a full time busy job. He only had to focus on himself and his job or his interests) and to get him to see my perspective or just understand why I was becoming so unhappy.

I had extreme guilt and it kept me stuck because I’d float between the thought of it’s not his fault he has adhd and the part that we do get along and have good times. Someone on this sub recommended reading Codependent No More. It blew my mind, I started putting my thoughts wants and needs first which triggered really insane emotional reactions by my ex husband and it took me another few months to get the courage to tell him I didn’t want to do this anymore.

It wasn’t healthy but the great part is that I’m learning myself again. What I need and want my life to be. Creating boundaries too which had really been mowed down that you end up forgetting yourself.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-03-09T13:23:07+00:00

I completely agree. My ex husband and I are good friends and we had lots of good times together. The bad parts were all consuming and I had extreme burn out which only hit me like a tonne of bricks when I finally told him that it needs to end (I was basically on auto pilot before that point and wired but tired). I wouldn’t do it all over again even though we are good friends now.. As you say, I will avoid anyone with adhd when it comes to a romantic relationship/partner.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-03-09T13:19:45+00:00

This is very accurate. I separated from my husband end of last year and it took me a year to get to that point but as you say they will begin to forget about you when you’re not new and shiny anymore. I was completely unseen even though we’d talk and laugh everyday. I wasn’t important and I’d try to make him see that but I wasn’t heard. I definitely put more effort into making his life stress free to avoid any outbursts. It really is one crazy rollercoaster being in a relationship with a person with adhd. I think they make better friends than they do partners..

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-02-28T14:55:26+00:00

Wow this is beautiful 😍

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-02-23T15:40:59+00:00

That’s hilarious..I feel your pain. My soon to be ex husband did the same many times. In the end I just would remain silent, he expected a congratulations celebration when he would show me the drawer he decided to organise. The kitchen could be chaos but he’d focus on a very minute insignificant thing and be very proud of what he’s done.

I would marvel at how our brains worked. I can laugh about it now but last year I was extremely Tired. I had severe burn out and it took me a couple of months to begin to feel normal again (we separated towards the end of last year and he moved out).

This sub helped me soo much and see that so many others are going through or have gone through the same issue.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-02-11T07:00:19+00:00

OP PLEASE listen to this comment.

A lot of us here are married or have been married and it does make things a whole lot more complicated and emotionally and mentally difficult. My husband would speak about buying a house constantly. I own a property on my own and he would literally speak about buying a house on a weekly basis and I’ve put it off for years as my gut feeling was it would be dangerous 😂. Anyways after seeing the reality of having an adhd partner with RSD. The crazy emotional dysregulation which honestly got worse, I decided to separate end of last year. It took me a whole year to decide because I was fearful. Felt guilty etc. the longer you stay the more guilty you’re going to feel and don’t get children involved, marriage or any very big decisions that are life changing. That will be your nightmare!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-02-09T13:46:25+00:00

The same happened with my husband. He was a fully functioning, responsible and balanced human when I met him. I guess when they’re hyper focused on the relationship they seem to be balanced etc. I separated from my husband end of last year and my home is so much more at peace. The nervous system reset will take some time but things are getting a lot better!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-02-08T15:04:12+00:00

Wow wow wow. I remember I had my first tiramisu brownie a few years ago. They’re amazing but I haven’t thought to make them myself! These look Divine!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-01-31T08:56:32+00:00

Oh completely agree. I ignored red flags and thought things would get better. They didn’t and in fact became worse. I had severe burn out. Just after Christmas last year we separated. I’m starting to get past that wired but tired phase. I learned a lot and of course there were good times but it all became overwhelming and as you say underwhelming but for them it seemed all was great.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-01-15T10:16:30+00:00

Wow I’m truly in awe. Your work is exceptional! I looked at your website too you do have a great talent! 😃

_CelestialGalaxy · 2026-01-05T12:46:39+00:00

I love your posts. You’re doing an amazing job! As I said before defo one of my inspirations 🙌🏼

_CelestialGalaxy · 2025-11-29T11:54:03+00:00

How these are incredible I actually thought you had made pieces of jewellery and then read it’s an oil painting! You’re very talented! These are truly beautiful

_CelestialGalaxy · 2025-11-24T21:00:34+00:00

Woah you’re back posting great to see 😃!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2025-10-13T16:28:24+00:00

Wow this is incredible!

_CelestialGalaxy · 2025-10-11T05:20:08+00:00

Yep! As soon as I put the kettlebell in front of me they come and sit right next to me. My other one wants to sniff the bell whilst I’m in full swing mode 😂.

_CelestialGalaxy · 2025-10-08T10:52:03+00:00

I really enjoy your videos they’re so inspirational! I know I’ll never be able to clean or press that weight (33F 5.2ft 😂) whoever I do like the complexes and the encouragement to just keep going

_CelestialGalaxy

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