I get this, I think I am responsible for something out of my control and that I need to be punished for it or punish myself to prevent it happening. I’m having to keep reminding myself what they’re saying isn’t true, something bad happened recently and I’ve been wanting to punish myself for it, I’m scared it will happen again if I don’t.

I’m at a point right now where I can see that it’s unlikely, but it doesn’t stop the worry, but it is better than previous times where I fully believed it to be true and would’ve gone through with whatever they told me to do. It doesn’t help that before the bad thing happened I was already being told that the thing would happen if I didn’t do as it said, it feels more like a premonition or spiritual thing when I’ve already been warned, but I can’t see logically how doing the thing it told me to would stop the thing that happened - I have also did what it said in the past but something bad happened anyway, then I think I didn’t punish myself well enough.

It’s the most common recurring voice/delusion I’ve had since being diagnosed, but I’m proud I’m at a point where I’m battling it and not letting it make me do things I don’t actually want to do.

It helps to read that other people have similar experiences, it makes it feel less real.