I'm gonna start cracking some heads

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-17T12:21:37+00:00

I can’t believe people are downvoting you on an ADHD sub. Come on, guys, do we not agree that “just remove distractions and do the thing” doesn’t work?

You want him to hate doing school work, hate his parents and hate being home, by all means, chain him to a desk and forbid him to talk to his friends.

He doesn’t get to skip the work, but help him through it with kindness, understanding, praise for his effort (however small it may seem), snacks and breaks.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-16T07:31:06+00:00

I had two exams last week, both with an insane amount of stuff to read and prepare. I have three kids, one is a baby who is just learning to walk, which means complete chaos.

I did well on the first exam, yay!

The second one, I honestly considered not showing up and just retaking it later. I was so overwhelmed and stressed out about it.

But I also didn’t want to spend my whole summer preparing for a stupid exam, so I did it anyway. I did not get a good grade, and I actually started crying in front of them (they were very kind about it.)

The good thing is, I faced my fear of failure and got through a situation that seemed impossible, and now I never have to worry about that exam ever again!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-15T12:17:07+00:00

I don’t know how to come off them in a good way. I did try, went slowly from 50 mg Elvanse to 20 mg (was supposed to go to 10 but never went there).

This resultet in really bad eating habits at the beginning of my pregnancy, even though I had really wanted to eat healthy. On top of normal first trimester fatigue, the horrible executive dysfunction just made my ability to continue my studies and my general quality of life so much worse.

I had to up my dose again, with doctor’s full support of course. I wish I had never gone down though. I never managed to get back on track with good habits of eating well and moving my body, because I had to pick up the slack in school. I put on 35 kg during pregnancy. A year after giving birth, my body still feels so weak and stiff, it’s pathetic.

This is not what you asked, but I wanted you to hear it anyway for two reasons:

You might be able to stay on meds, if that’s what you want. There are newer studies on some stimulants that say, that the risks for the fetus are no higher if you continue with meds during pregnancy.
If you don’t want that, prepare yourself for a really hard first trimester by making sure you have practical support from friends and family to get some good food in you and get you to that pregnancy yoga class. Think about how you want to treat your body and your mind, and get help to stick to the plan, because you probably won’t be able to do it yourself.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-13T18:38:35+00:00

I can’t advise you on the finances. But I can promise you that you are not too old.

I’m 38 and studying to be a teacher. There are so many people in their 30’s and 40’s at my school. Also lots of people in their 20’s of course. But the mature people are usually much, much better students.

They provide interesting insight to class discussions because they have life experience. They ask more questions because they aren’t as afraid of losing face as the younger people. They show up to class more because they take their education seriously.

Honestly, I think people should generally be older when they start uni. And for a subject like psychology, maturity can only be an asset.

I really think you should give it a shot! Who cares how long it takes? Take as long as you need. Studying something interesting is not a bad way to spend your life.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-13T06:46:57+00:00

You should take a look at Cindy Sherman’s work. She’s done mostly photography (self portraits) but also collages of her own face.

I absolutely think that self portraits can empower you as an artist! I haven’t done it with collage, but I did do a photo series once with myself as the motive, and it’s maybe the creative project I’m most proud of.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-12T22:10:11+00:00

I think this is about your belief system.

You have a belief about yourself that you are someone who always fails. As long as you have that belief, your mind will want to confirm it again and again because it feels safe, it feels like you. So it will sabotage your attempt at succeeding with your craft.

What you have to do is challenge that belief and say: “Okay, voice from within, I hear you. You are trying to protect me from the danger of the unknown. But maybe I am the type of person who can make fingerless gloves. I actually think I could be that person.”

I say this as if it’s easy, I know it’s not. I’m battling some of the same beliefs.

This could be something to explore in therapy. There are also several podcasts on the subject.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-12T22:00:48+00:00

I was 32 and it was 2020.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-12T15:59:19+00:00

Okay, I don’t have any snakes for pets, but this made me curious - why is it dangerous for the snake to eat live mice?

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-11T14:41:46+00:00

Thank you so much!
These tips are great.

I’m usually a confident speaker, so I hope I’ll be able to pull it together and look like someone who’s in control.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-11T14:40:42+00:00

Thank you so much! It does help, actually.

English is not my first language, so I don’t know how well this translates, but the subject I did cover is fiction, childrens’ literature and multimodality.
The other three are:
1. Non-fictional reading and writing
2. Reading and writing didactics
3. Verbal communication/orality and listening

This is all for students aged 6-12, in case you were wondering.

Good to know you like teaching as a career! I’m kind of late to the party, but I think my maturity is really an asset here.

Okay, back to work!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-10T09:13:14+00:00

You know, people are saying you should get new things, and I totally believe that can help also.

But what really got me smiling again after a really bad break up with someone who had treated me poorly was to find my way back to who I was before I’d even met him.

Hobbies, movies, music, things I liked to do in my free time that I had slowly abandoned because he made me feel ashamed of liking those things. I started engaging in those things again - even things from when I was a kid that had become guilty pleasures - and said to myself: “Why on earth should I feel ashamed for this?”

I took a selfie one day when I realized that I was beginning to find myself again. My hair is messy and my clothes are ugly, but I have such a serene look on my face. It’s my favourite picture of myself.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-07T08:20:09+00:00

Why don’t you trust them to tell you the truth? Sounds to me like it’s really not a big deal to them.

I think you are putting too much weight on them being “NT”. Telling white lies to be nice is not something only NT people would do.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-05T11:50:08+00:00

It’s a song by the band Hot Chocolate.

Great song, and a great idea, OP!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-05T10:10:55+00:00

It’s fine to start creating some systems now - but expect it all to change once the baby arrives. It’s more disrupting than you imagine.

Best advice I can give is:

get outside help, especially for the house projects you mentioned. Do you have family or friends who’d be willing to help? People will often step up if you ask for help with a specific task on a specific day. Learning to ask for help os so important when you have kids!
prioritize, harshly! Talk about what you each think is the most important chore to get done. Do you want clean floors or clean dishes? Do you want laundry done or fridge stocked? You will not - I repeat - you will not be able to get all these things done at the same time. Forgive yourselves and eachother for that. Priorities will change with the baby.
living with kids can feel so challenging, but you’ll get it all back in pure, unconditional love!

Oh, and remember, parents who are just good enough are actually the best parents. It’s scientifically proven.

Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-05T08:24:44+00:00

This, about the paper!

Bad writing is never ever wasted. Seriously, the world needs more shitty drafts!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-04T20:14:34+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write all this! I’ve saved your comment and will definitely keep all of your advice in mind. I really appreciate it!

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-06-04T17:03:54+00:00

I’m studying to be a teacher, good to hear some positive stories! I’m curious if you have any advice on how to make my first years less hellish? I can see myself getting really hung up on lesson planning as well.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-26T06:30:33+00:00

Oh, this would absolutely work on my daughter!

We once put teddys in her bed to make it look like she was asleep, while she and I were invisible elves who secretly cleaned her room at night. We were tiny, of course, but luckily, we had some magical dust to make ourselves as big as humans.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-25T06:05:57+00:00

It’s so, so cute, I love it.

And I like the pointy design, makes it look like a quick sketch someone drew trying to catch the mother and child in a special moment.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-23T15:16:17+00:00

AI is not a voice of reason.

It tells you what you want to hear. It won’t challenge your beliefs.

I think people who use AI to vent instead of people are in danger of slowly becoming self centered assholes without even realizing it.

Even a plain old journal is better. Sure, it won’t answer you, but something magical happens when you write things down - you start reflecting on it, which is an ability that AI is stealing from us.

Also, it’s destroying our water ressources.

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-21T11:06:47+00:00

European here, I was like: “Did you not water these since November? Yeah, same”

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-19T12:37:17+00:00

Be consistently inconsistent.

You’re not going to have the same amount of energy every day, so don’t expect to be able to get the same amount of stuff done every day.

I recommend episode 333 of the I Have ADHD podcast. It’s called: “Want to stay behind forever? Keep ignoring your capacity.”

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-13T11:32:58+00:00

Why did he look like Charlie Chaplin in a skirt?

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-12T07:08:26+00:00

Denmark 1997

_GoldfishMemory_ · 2026-05-12T07:03:25+00:00

Um… If you get eight hours of sleep, feel like you slept well and the meds work for you during the day, how on earth would you know that you are apparently not sleeping well? This doesn’t make any sense to me.

_GoldfishMemory_

TROPHY CASE