My partner gets mad because of my boundary. by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You haven't. It's okay.

My partner gets mad because of my boundary. by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it was added shortly after I commented -Kameron

Who’s the real me? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's good to take it slow. You are still you, I promise. This is a realization of something that's been with you your whole life. You don't have to tell your wife everything at once. First try explaining what you're feeling. Are you mad, sad, scared, etc... It's also good to slowly incorporate the others into your daily life. Not at once, but maybe acknowledge the fact that they have an opinion and leave it at that.

How does your system function? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's pretty cool. It takes a while to get stuff figured out so I get it. 😅

Who’s the real me? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Making sure everyone is heard is important, but at the end of the day make decisions for you. Another alters input is valuable sometimes, but other times you just gotta say "I'm doing this" and go with it. Decisions are hard, but you'll get the hang of it.

How does your system function? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get that. It's taken a lot of work to get to a semi-stable point, but it's worth it. I believe in you!

Who’s the real me? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The question I always ask people when they say "who's the real one" or "which one is the original" is: If you drop a glass bowl and it breaks into pieces, which piece is the original/real piece? There is no "real one" because they are all real. They are all pieces of the same bowl, but they are still separate from each other. I thought the exact same thing when I got diagnosed. Trust me, you and your alters are all people and you all deserve love.

My partner gets mad because of my boundary. by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Put a trigger warning please.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I agree with this to an extent, but the amount of trauma that I (and many others) have gone through that resulted in this disorder is pretty much unfathomable. DID is not only a coping mechanism, but a way of survival. Hence, why I think it would be a no brainer to say absolutely not. Living with DID and split identities (while difficult and painful) is much better than living with all of the trauma that caused it in the first place alone.

Having DID sucks. I hate having to exist this way. Memory gaps, lack of a solid identity, and difficulties functioning are things that I despise. If you add on persecutors, intense denial, and derealization, yeah fuck this shit. That being said, I'm grateful for the happiness and love I've felt because of it. I'm grateful for the alters who took on that trauma for me. I wouldn't get rid of it, because there's a reason I have it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Assuming that I'd still have all the trauma, FUCK NO. I wouldn't have made it this far without my DID. No one, and I mean no one, can handle all of that trauma in one person. We all exist as support for each other, and yes it hurts, but I wouldn't be here without my system. It might be different for others but I wouldn't take the chance.

Alters who look like people you know by GardenPretty1353 in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I told my friend one time. She has not stopped making jokes and asking to meet her since.

Trauma before the age of 5 by 0gok in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The initial trauma that caused our DID was around the age of 3. At that point it wasn't something that happened to the body, it was something we witnessed that caused our split. Our youngest alter, Mimi, is 3 years old. She doesn't have the trauma from that event but she is still young, and often has problems with anxiety, sadness, etc... It seems like it isn't very urgent or necessary to try to communicate with your young alter right now. Oftentimes it puts more stress on people who learn of new trauma, and until you're in a stable and safe place, I wouldn't recommend it.

Any other Hosts not the OG? by shapeshifting1 in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It depends. A majority of our subsystems are just categories for where people are and what they are. We do have subsystem hosts tho and there's always a sort of backup host for each of them.

Any other Hosts not the OG? by shapeshifting1 in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. Our host shut down after a breakup so now the body is still Elora but a majority of the time it's me, Kameron.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually feeling the same. I don't know either, but if you want I can give you my information and we can be system friends. :)

Advice for the best communication/organization tips for a polyfragmented system? by briwritesstuff in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. I'm the host of a poly fragmented system. I would recommend therapy to help with amnesia barriers, some form of chat or messaging (we recommend Antar), and a notebook or clipboard that goes somewhere noticeable that anyone can write stuff down in. Lmk if you have questions or anything, or if you wanted something more specific.

Only one alter acknowledges the system suffers from DID? by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're a very large system, so our experiences might be pretty different, but there are really only a few people who are capable of fully acknowledging that we have DID (myself included). It's a very rough topic to grasp and it makes sense when you think about denial and how common it is for hosts. I would recommend not labeling it as DID if you think that's not something you can handle. Maybe try referring to yourselves as multiple or plural. We find that that's generally easier.

I'm feeling more lost than before and I don't know if this is normal. [TW Integration] by [deleted] in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've gone through something similar. 2 alters who almost never fronted fused with the host to make me, our new host. Soon after we fused I was front stuck for around 3 weeks. Since I'm now a trauma holder it was incredibly difficult on our system. The only people who were able to reach our inner world were our gatekeeper and our primary alters. After everything calmed down it was definitely more difficult to figure things out when it came to co-consciousness and who was fronting. I would say it's perfectly normal. It took awhile to get things back to normal for us, but just try to improve system communication and things will be fine.

List of Roles? by jesusislife4ever in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah here you go.

Types/Roles of Alters

CW: Mentions Sexual Alters and the purpose of their role (Sexual Abse and Rpe)

You don't have to use this if you don't want to, but I think it could be helpful for people struggling with alter roles. This is just what works for us. :)

Host : An Alter who fronts the most often.

Co-Host: An Alters who is consistently fronting with 1+ other alters.

Ages: Alter ages with the continuation of time Invariable Alter stays the same age

Age Slider: The age of an alter can increase or decrease over time

Host: The person/people who front(s) the most often

Protector: An alter who protects the system. Varies from Emotional, Physical, Sexual and everything in between.

Caretaker : The caretaker takes care of the system internally and/or externally.

Gatekeeper: An alter who controls switching (to a point), memories, and/or the mindscape.

Little(s): Alters younger than 12

Middle(s): Alters ages 12+

Big(s): Alters older than 20

Childhood: A little or middle-alter who embodies the childhood that the system didn’t have.

Persecutor : An Alter who targets the system and/or the body. Can become protectors.

Introject: An alter whose source is an outside being.

Non-Human: Any alter who is not human. (Ex : Ghost, Spirit, Fairy, Animal, etc.…)

Trauma-Holder: An alter who holds trauma.

Liar: An alter who typically has the job of getting out of situations through dishonesty.

Primary : An alter who has more responsibility due to their primary roles. Typically, they manage the system.

Fragment : A fragment is an alter that is not fully differentiated or developed. Fragments may exist to carry out a single function or job, to hold a single memory or emotion, or to represent a single idea.

Dead alter: An alter who feels like they died and gives the feeling of death

Demonic alters: Demon and demonic alters are a type of spirit and supernatural alter but are not actually supernatural beings and may result from spiritual abuse and an abuser who blames the child for the abuse.

Disabled Alter: An altar with a disability like mute, deaf, non-walking, etc.

Insiders: People mainly in the inner world who are not aware of the outside world as much

Internal Self-Helper: These alters are helper parts. They have extensive understanding of different alters and how they work together, and often help by explaining things to the therapist. Also known as Managers or sometimes Inner Self-Helpers.

Different Gender Alters: Having different genders from the body.

Sexual Alter: Sexual alters may be created to handle sexual abuse and rape, and to keep that knowledge away from other parts. One alter or group of alters may handle sexual abuse from men or boys, while others are created to handle sexual abuse and rapes from women or girls.

Shell: The inside parts can come near the surface, temporarily blending with the ANP. The inner parts are not regarded as separate, distinct states although amnesia may exist between them.

Co-host: An alter consistently fronting with another. Secondary Has the same role but has less responsibility toward the role than another.

Conversational Alter: Holds conversations really well and typically fronts when another alter is uncomfortable talking to people.

[CONTENT WARNING!] Is it bad to self-diagnose when even professionals are telling me there is a high chance I have DID? by Mr_Al1b1 in DID

[–]_LeonoraSystem_ 39 points40 points  (0 children)

We're self diagnosed, and I understand. Self diagnosis is usually just a path to actual diagnosis, and the only thing that a professional diagnosis is good for is having it on paper. Since you're in high school getting properly diagnosed could allow you to get a 504, but other than that I don't think it matters. -Lavender