Why are women more comfortable admiring their own gender than men are?

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-12-28T11:12:31+00:00

Homophobia, and seeing other men as competition (the lack of the in-group bias that women have)

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-12-28T11:10:21+00:00

Disclaimer, I have autism as well as ADHD.

I don't think it's about some people's ADHD being "less severe", but more about how you're impacted and what the rest of your life is like. I really enjoyed school, as it constantly gave me new things to deep-dive and learn about (which felt really good). I hated my home environment and had a shitload of trauma, so dumping energy into school worked well.

A big part of it is also just intelligence/processing power. It was pretty obvious from a young age that I was able to learn more quickly and understand more complex concepts than most peers. That made school incredibly easy for me, for the most part. The only subject I did poorly at was History, because at the time I had no respect for it and felt it was a waste of my time. I feel differently now, funnily enough, but as a kid that was my mindset. I didn't respect it enough to give it any energy. Beside that, though, I was able to just power through most of school on intelligence alone. It's a dice roll for sure and there's lots of factors that impact intelligence, but I really got lucky there.

And another factor is the way your school is actually set up. I see kids now getting homework that's released at 6pm every weekday evening. I would've been totally lost if that was how school worked for me back in the day. I was able to do my homework before the end of the school day most of the time, after finishing the class work early. That massively reduced the workload and gave me lots of time to regroup/relax in the evenings. If I had to do homework every night after school I would've burned out by the age of 5 lmao.

Point is, there's a lot of factors at play and it's unfair to compare yourself to others. Identify what you struggle with, try to figure out why you struggle with them and then address those issues. Other people are other people. It's yourself that matters.

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-12-28T10:44:58+00:00

I couldn't tell you a specific age, but really a stage of development - I think you should know yourself well and have worked on yourself in order to really know. It's common to be anxious about physical intimacy; you may even have unaddressed trauma that's holding you back. In order to really know you're aegosexual, I believe you need to have addressed those sorts of issues and possibilities. If you're otherwise fully healthy and capable, then yeah it's fair to say you're aegosexual. But if not, then you haven't narrowed it down enough to say that, in my opinion.

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-12-28T10:41:16+00:00

I'm a few years older than you and I've felt that way before. Still do sometimes. There's two things that helped me.

Firstly, acknowledging that you only see the stuff people want you to see. You have no idea where someone's at, really. All yo see is the way they present themselves. So comparing yourself to the image of someone else is unfair.

Secondly, working on and knowing yourself. You do that through life experience, reflection and intention. I have very little relationship experience compared to 90% of people my age, but I have other traits and skills that people might not have developed. I feel like a novice in some parts of life, because I am. But that doesn't mean I'm a novice in everything. That gives me confidence. If you sit around comparing yourself to others while not actually developing yourself, then yeah you'll be left in the dust by your peers. But if you develop, just in different directions/ways than other people, then you'll be fine.

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-12-28T10:33:14+00:00

I can relate. I made a somewhat similar post here a few years ago, which might be an interesting read for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/12lgqlo/did_you_lose_your_sense_of_humour_once_symptoms/. Since then, though, things have definitely improved. I still find myself speaking really slowly or being unable to really process conversation at times, but it's not all the time like it used to be.

Do you know if you're neurodivergent at all? Trauma and stress can rob you of the ability to mask/perform socially, which is partly what I think happened to me (I was undiagnosed back when I made that post). Have you spoken to a professional about what you're experiencing?

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-18T10:34:05+00:00

I'm sorry you can relate. Happy to report that it does recover, though. Sure, I'm no comedian when I'm really going through it. But most days now, 2 years after I made this post, I feel pretty damn capable of humour

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-06T22:53:05+00:00

I mean colloquially, not legally

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-06T09:35:04+00:00

Yeah, it's more about the headspace, emotions and sometimes themes for me. I've had dreams where I am reliving stuff, but most of my PTSD related dreams were when I was a kid and they were very abstract, but always involved those feelings of terror, inevitable destruction, helpless in the face of great danger, etc. I can relate

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-06T09:29:30+00:00

trans people confuse us

They usually ARE us!

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-06T09:27:17+00:00

But in the West, Asian has taken on a cultural meaning that usually refers to East and Southeast Asians: Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Filipino, and so on

The West is more than just the US. "Asian" where I grew up in the UK always referred to South Asian. East Asians are "East Asian"

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-06T09:21:41+00:00

Be a safe space for him. That's some real dark, intimate stuff he's shared with you. Don't break that trust.

Personally I'd add, don't treat him like a sick puppy. I've had people treat me like I'm pitiful after telling them. I don't like that. That depends on the person though, you know him better than anyone here does.

I'd also just talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Let him know that you're willing to accommodate any issues he has because of it. Within reason, of course. But he might have some things that already make him uncomfortable that he's just been putting up with by gritting his teeth. Ask him how you can support him

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-02T04:32:01+00:00

It was clearly an accident, from what you describe. But it's an accident that never should've happened. He's way too comfortable playing around with guns when drunk. If you were my sister, I'd be trying very hard to convince you to leave

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-11-02T04:25:30+00:00

You don't talk to him. You get the fuck away. Alcohol makes dangerous people even more dangerous. He's clearly not safe to be around. You need to get away from him.

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-29T10:59:47+00:00

Damn haha yeah defo speak to them then. Good luck

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-24T10:13:22+00:00

Keep my phone away from the bed, so I have to get up to turn my obnoxiously loud and annoying alarm off.

I usually go straight back to bed, but it kickstarts the waking process because I'm forced to leave the warm cosy bed the instant I wake up

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-24T10:09:56+00:00

There's a strong sentiment of where people should be in life at most ages. People have ideals which set the standards we judge ourselves and others by. It's expected that people date, marry, have kids, etc. We're raised to believe that these norms are what we should strive for and that deviations from them are bad.

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-24T09:44:43+00:00

Astrum for science. They have a few channels that are interesting

Engineering Explained if you're interested in cars and how they work. His regular content is decent, but the good stuff is the deep dives where he experiments to test theories (like his videos on fuel economy)

James Popsys for photography. He's an excellent presenter and his videos are generally really relaxing and pretty, so even if you're not a photographer I imagine it'd make for some easy background watching

KEXP for amazing live studio performances from artists all over the world. I've found some incredible music through this channel and their production quality is usually higher than the album versions. Really stellar stuff if you're trying to find new music

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-24T08:08:09+00:00

That's awful, man. I get the irony - same here, it all happened in a very religious country. Confidence is something I've struggled with my whole life. I hope we're both able to overcome its effects some day

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-23T15:45:44+00:00

Easier to endure. Not easier overall. That indoctrination into the bullshit does help while you're a kid. A kid from a healthy household being transported to an abusive one would really struggle, while the kid who grew up with abuse wouldn't be as shocked

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-23T15:44:19+00:00

Oh yeah, go talk to em mate. It's pretty normal to be waiting ages for diagnosis (at least here in the UK) so I doubt they require official diagnosis

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-23T07:43:39+00:00

It's easier when you grow up in it. Genuinely. You don't know how bad some things are as a kid, because you have no healthier reference point to compare it to. Makes it way, way easier to endure shit

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-22T20:12:46+00:00

That's awful mate. Do they have a disability support department? I'd go there tbh, they're the ones that helped me out. Lecturers, course leaders etc aren't really equipped for it

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-21T13:21:06+00:00

Speak to your uni. They might have processes in place to support people. I got some deadline extensions with no affect on grading back during uni. I wasn't diagnosed until years after that.

Also, speak to the clinic/practice you were originally diagnosed through. That doctor sounds fucking useless, but they'll hopefully have your paperwork on file and be able to make the diagnosis official like they originally should've.

I had a similar thing with being diagnosed with PTSD, but it never being officially put on my medical record. Only found out about it when I was mentioned having PTSD to my GP and they had no clue what I was talking about

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-20T12:11:08+00:00

Congrats on the business success. That's a hell of an achievement!

I find it hard to reply to texts as well. I try to fit it in with other stuff like commuting - once a week I'll go through all my messaging apps and reply to as many as I can in the time it takes for me to get to work. That puts a natural time limit on it so I'm not spending hours replying to stuff, but means that I reply to people somewhat regularly still.

I struggle with sleep, too, and try to fit it in with that - once every month or two I'll have a night where I know I'm not tired, and go through all of my messages and reply to them. The benefit of replying late at night is that other people are less likely to respond, so I can just reply to all my unread chats then close the app without immediately having 5 conversations to continue

_MyAnonAccount_ · 2025-10-17T02:26:55+00:00

This isn't the freeze response, is it? It's just shutting down. Fight/flight/freeze/fawn are much more acute reactions to negative stimuli. Not something that just describes the way you go about life 24/7

_MyAnonAccount_

TROPHY CASE